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John Holmes Motherfucker

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Comments
Key & Peele: Police Interrogation
11/02/13, 10:35

Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace
Anthony Burgess on Pop Music
11/02/13, 09:45

After Pete Best and Murray the K, Anthony Burgess was considered the seventh Beatle.
Turtle fucks a croc
11/02/13, 09:39

Needs "shoe fetish" tag.
GOP Rep. Mike Rogers: Can't Have Your Privacy Violated If You Don't Know Your Privacy Is Violated
11/01/13, 20:18

Dear Representative Squarehead:

Congratulations!

It is my pleasure to inform you that you are the lucky winner of these FIVE STARS for one millionth shameless evocation of 9/11 by a politician to justify government overreaching.

Burn in Hell,
John Holmes Motherfucker

Apparently, if only the NSA had been permitted to spy on the whole world back in 2001, Bush would have read the memo that said Bin Laden was determined to attack in the US.
Attention Seniors!
11/01/13, 00:57

My Dad thought this was hilarious. :)
Mythbusters: Killer Quicksand
10/30/13, 23:20

This is the first time I've ever seen Mythbusters. If not for the reappearance of the Devil Clown Crystal video (I think it's the name of the company, not the unfortunate woman) I would never have clicked on this, much less submitted it.

It seems to me that the made for TV demonstration is superfluous, except as entertainment. More significant is the historical research they alluded to, indicating that people and animals who have been known die in quicksand have always died of exposure, not suffocation. I'm not 100 per cent convinced that movie-style quicksand death never ever happen, but I am convinced that the idea of quicksand we all grew up with is indeed a myth, and if I'm ever caught in quicksand, I'll probably be glad I watched this.

But that will probably never happen, as I am not an outdoorsy guy.
White Light/White Heat
10/29/13, 15:30

Sister Ray is incredible music for the stationary cycle, or better yet if you can find a long straight stretch of road.
Cool It Down
10/29/13, 03:22

Perfect
Nostalgia Chick reviews THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS
10/29/13, 02:01

Just for fun, I'm going to close by repeating what i said about the Nostlgia Chick that started this discussion about my crooked wizened cock:


>>As someone who has been known to defend, and even profess admiration for Anita Hussein Sarkeesian, it's been eye-opening to see another Vaginal American pop culture critic cover the same issues in her respective media with so much more economy, humor, nuance, and irony.

Actually, i was trying to make the point that Anita Hussein Sarkesian is not that great, but it's true that nothing gets me hard like humor, nuance and irony. That's why i love this website.
Nostalgia Chick reviews THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS
10/29/13, 01:45

I just want to say that I am completely in favor of PETA's sexy naked lady bullshit.
Nostalgia Chick reviews THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS
10/29/13, 01:43

If you're not a Boxxy fan, I can never explain why all this vacant, wide-eyed posing is an inferior product, and if you are a Boxxy fan, no explanation is necessary.

>JHM fixated on a young female YouTube personality? Never saw that coming.

I submit a review of a movie about a kitten and a dog, and it becomes all about my supposed personal idiosyncrasies, resulting in multiple posts about my crooked, wizened .cock.

Did I see that coming? It's as predictable as gravity. Let's do it again soon!

In spite of the defamation, if you can dance to the rock and roll station, you know it's all right...

http://youtu.be/EkbpmFOuKrc
Woman Burns Herself With McDonald's Coffee: The TRUE Story
10/28/13, 23:35

Here's my take on this.

Most people like to drink coffee after their meal. if you eat dinner in a restaurant, the waiter serves you coffee after dinner. At Mc Donalds, you get the whole meal at the beginning, my best guess is that they want the coffee to stay hot through the meal to enjoy at the end. Whatever the reason is, they're trying to prevent people goign back through the line to get their coffee warmed up.

The basic problem is the difference between McDonald's coffee, and coffee you get at home or in a real restaurant. If I spill coffee I made at home on my junk, I'm not going to need a skin graft. This is what took people by surprise. And it kept happening. And they just factored it into the cost of doing business.

As a nonlawyer who's talking out his ass, i think it should have been a class action suit, and they should have taken them for millions.
Nostalgia Chick reviews THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS
10/28/13, 22:42

LOL. So you're not actually reading my mind; you're just being intuitive.

Nope. Neither dick pix nor gtfo will I give. I'm just going to stay here and let you keep acting like a brain-dead bigot, until it's obvious even to you. This is YOUR self destruction, not mine.

Why don't you keep explaining what you know about me because I liked a movie review. Dazzle me with your cracker jack logic.

The thing about me is, I identify with women. I like being a man, but I saw "Thelma and Louise" three times in the theater because I identified. It's just the way I am.
Nostalgia Chick reviews THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS
10/28/13, 22:00

>>Yes John, please post pictures of your crooked dick on the internet. Complete the cycle of self destruction to which you are so committed. Nothing would make me happier than to see you shriek angrily to the world that you are in fact more of a wretched, oafish deviant than you had already demonstrated, and that not only is it okay for you to be that way, that we are obligated to give a shit.

Okay, so let's recap. I'm accused of being a deviant. Why? Well, apparently it's because I'm sexually obsessed with Boxxy, Tina Faye, The Nostalgia Chick, Antia Sareesian, Katy Perry, and there may be others I've forgotten. I don't talk about these women in a sexual way, I don't do anything about my obsession, or think about it very much, but lotsmoreorcs, a person who delights in posting graphic descriptions of my penis ( my "crooked dick", my "wizened little crank") believes he can read my mind over the internet. He sees into my soul.

Is this the "cycle of self destruction" you refer to, lotsmoreorcs?

When I criticized TFL Bill for advocating torture of women, he told me that I was taking the woman's side out of desperate vain hope that women on the internet would read my posts and have sex with me. On the internet, everything gets a sexual motive by default.. It's a an easy narrative that everyone can understand and get behind. I remember when we were discussing the piece of shit movie "Megan is Missing", and someone suggested that the director actually had a personal fetish for unbderage girls being raped and murdered. I think it's far more likely that he was trying to exploit an extreme, taboo subject so that he could direct features instead of doing the cinematography for TV shows, but the personal fetish story just became the narrative. Everybody just fell in line.

lotsmoreorcs probably doesn't know if he's indulging in good-natured ribbing, being a bully, or trying to rid the internet of an actual sex offender. I can't tell from his behavior, and I don't think he's thought about it that much. He's just doing what he does, and whatever happens will be what he intended.

I've been puitting up with this shit for ages, and the accusations themselves don't bother me that much, it's the endless march of of stupidity, the placing of an easy narrative over the acknowledgment that there is such a thing as reality. On the internet, if you deny being a deviant, it means you're a deviant. If I don't deny being a deviant, it means you're a deviant. This bugs the shit out of me, not because I care what you think of me, but because I happen to care about intellectual integrity. I really expected more of the new information age.

Does anybody know that I'm bisexual? I've mentioned it several times, but it never seems to resonate, maybe because it doesn't fit my narrative, or because it's no longer cool to call someone out for being gay. In the cheapest, least intellectually curious way, reality becomes what is most entertaining.
Nostalgia Chick reviews THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS
10/28/13, 16:15

Objectively, there's no reason for me to hate this, but the heart wants what the heart wants.
Nostalgia Chick reviews THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS
10/28/13, 14:42

The fascinating thing about Boxxy is that she wasn't a product of traditional corporate media. Of course, Google IS a corporation, but Google never groomed her to be a media product. Her celebrity spontaneously occurred from videos that were made for just a few friends. This is also why I love Rebecca Black,

I never heard of Arianna Grande before just now, but what a quick search reveals looks like a lot of sameoldsameold to me. Could only stand about 30 seconds of" Baby, I"


I'm sure Arianna scored high with the focus groups for the male demographic, so yes, objectively that makes her hotter than Boxxy. She's taller, with nicer tits and a better ass. As Catie herself admits, she practically has no ass at all.

http://youtu.be/JMUUkZQqFtY
Nostalgia Chick reviews THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS
10/28/13, 13:45

Lou Reed is dead, and so I am going off to mourn.
Nostalgia Chick reviews THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS
10/28/13, 13:43

>>Did you know that every frame of a nostalgia chick video is an individual, beautiful portrait, that JHMF can, will, and does beat his wizened little crank to day in day out in his filthy cat piss smelling apartment?

I'm 55 years old with fairly serious prostrate issues, and taking a cocktail of medications that inhibit my ability to produce semen. The idea that I could attain an erection while watching a YouTube review of "Milo and Otis" is actually sort of flattering.

My apartment smells fine. I use Simple Solution, and I observe the practice of a maintaining a separate litter box for each individual cat.

This is something like the seventh or eighth time someone has referenced my masturbation habits. Would you guys like me to post some pix?
Nostalgia Chick reviews THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS
10/28/13, 09:39

Nominal, let's face it, you're no Joe Bob Briggs.

Are you saying that I'm trying to convince you that I'm not attracted to a 29 year old woman, which would be pretty normal, I think.

What the fuck is wrong with you faggots? If only I could convince you of the extent of my contempt.
Nostalgia Chick reviews THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS
10/27/13, 22:40

Really? Joe Bob Briggs? HAHAHALOLZ?

I'm having a hard time believing that you watched this, but it's not something that I need to care about. I just came back here to stipulate that they ALLEGEDLY threw 30 kittens off a cliff.

Or maybe not. It may be that the statistic about 1/3 of 30 kittens not surviving refers to the filming as a whole, and not to the cliff stunt.

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