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John Holmes Motherfucker

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Comments
Grumpy Cat predicts winner of Team Cena vs. Team Authority
12/13/14, 01:01

I think this cat must have been bred as a show cat to have the temperament to travel and put up with so much activity. Unless the poor cat is dosed up on roofies or someting. A friend sent me a picture of her posing with Tarder Sauce at Vidcon, and the cat was asleep (they only let her get so close). In video after video, on live TV, and lying next to three guys icebucketing themselves, Grumpy cat just never reacts to anything. I think show cats are actually bred for this.

The figure I read was 100 million, but that was denied. Maybe that was a gross figure. It's probably a lot less, thoug a lot less than 100 million can still be a lot.
Prairie Cat - Beautiful Baby
12/12/14, 22:39

she'd
Prairie Cat - Beautiful Baby
12/12/14, 22:38

Pretty sure I've never been this turned on from watching a woman this big dance. It's that smile, man, those eyes. I'd just like to have a conversation with her. Would I sleep with her? Only if she's let me.
Grumpy Cat predicts winner of Team Cena vs. Team Authority
12/12/14, 22:17

I hear this is all fake.
Farty Marty on Star Makers
12/12/14, 20:00

Farty Marty's faith has seen him through some dark and terrible times. Like his performances, for example.

I see that the "Farty Marty" tag is unlinked. If this is PoeTV's introduction to this very special and original artist, let's mention that he's got other videos.
How Aubrey Plaza became Grumpy Cat
12/12/14, 18:35

This movie got bad reviews from the critics, good reviews from Amazon. One critic said that it was a bad movie that he enjoyed. For some it's a guilty pleasure.

I like this movie a lot, and I make no apologies or excuses for that, but this is not meant to imply that I believe anyone else would like it. If you like cats, like Aubrey Plaza, like Mystery Science Theater, and sort of resent some aspects of Christmas, it might be worth a try.
How Aubrey Plaza became Grumpy Cat
12/12/14, 17:37

Grumpy cat's hilarious frown is caused by a congenital defect, a kind of dwarfism. My fear is that there's someone out there performing performing unholy experiments, trying to create a genetically engineered meme-cat,
How Aubrey Plaza became Grumpy Cat
12/12/14, 17:10

My friend watched this movie with me, and afterward, since she didn't know who Aubrey Plaza was, we watched Parks and Recreation on Hulu Plus, and that led to a binge of P and R watching that is still progress.

Here's the deal. Much to my surprise, Aubrey Plaza turned out to be an amazing actress. With April Ludgate, she manages to play an unexpressive character expressively, using her eyes, face, and especially her posture to say what April won't say. I don't know if she'll be able to build a long-term career on this deadpan persona, but she manages to be quite funny as a guest on "Conan" Apparently, based on youtube, she's on quite frequently.
How Aubrey Plaza became Grumpy Cat
12/12/14, 16:55

I'm not going to do that, homer. The Grumpy Cat movie is nothing if not Meta. At one point, Grumpy cat refers to the million dollar dog that the bad guys are trying to steal as "a McGuffin". The joke is that this is a very standard, dumb Hallmark channel Christmas movie, and Grumpy Cat keeps complaining about it, even live-tweeting "This movie is terrible." If you don't like this, there's no reason for me to expect that you'll like the movie.

Instead, I think you should watch "Want", the episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent where Neil Patrick Harris plays a cannibal serial killer. The character was inspired by Jeffrey Dahmer.
How Aubrey Plaza became Grumpy Cat
12/12/14, 15:20

Fuck yes! It's the oblivious look on the cat's face, like he's trying to not notice the ridiculous things they're making him do. The first time I saw Toonces, I was in college, and it was just a really lonely, depressing Saturday night, and I was binging on Ice Cream and chips, and I felt horrible, and Toonces came on and all of a sudden I was just laughing like some kind of lunatic.
How Aubrey Plaza became Grumpy Cat
12/12/14, 13:10

I love this movie out of all proportion to whether or not it's actually "good". I've seen it probably three times now. I've always said that cat's are the funniest animals on earth because they seem to have such an innate sense of dignity, coupled with absolute zero sense of humor They're so SERIOUS! .I'm a sucker for a cat driving a car, not because it's cute, but because it's absurd.

This is like an episode of MST3K with the main character doing the riffling.

The great thing about this is that the part of me that loves Christmas, and the part of me that hates Christmas, can get together and watch this without bumming each other out. It's the cure for the common Christmas.
There is a gamer in everyone
12/12/14, 08:44

>>What's a bigger cultural powerhouse than beer?

How do you define a cultural powerhouse? Beer doesn't need to be reinvented constantly. Movies, music, videogames, and television all constantly need new films, song, shows, and games, and are fundamentally transformed by emerging technology. Constant renewal is what makes something a cultural powerhouse. The things that must change are the things that power change.
There is a gamer in everyone
12/12/14, 08:24

Beer hasn't matured? At least in the US, it absolutely has, in terms of quality and variety, since about 1980.
Sleep With Neil Patrick Harris
12/12/14, 00:45

Homer, this time you're not only wrong, you're even more wrong than usual. It's pointless to argue with you, so I'll just submit some stuff.

Incidentally, what prompted me to submit this was a good night's sleep. I really like this product. I think the commercial is hilarious.
Sleep With Neil Patrick Harris
12/12/14, 00:18

Really, Homer? Let me be sure I understand this. You're saying his range is limited? He's repetitive? Redundant? Tiresome? He keeps doing the same thing over and over? Is that the gist of it?

Trying to imagine what that would be like. It sounds pretty boring, all right.
Sleep With Neil Patrick Harris
12/11/14, 14:22

That's not ALL it is, Homer. We also get your inane trolling.
Sleep With Neil Patrick Harris
12/10/14, 21:49

Fair question. I have an empty bottle handy. The label mentions melatonin and magnesium. It says that it " helps normalize sleep patterns."

It doesn't make you sleep, it makes your early morning sleep so deep that it's downright pleasurable. If you have to get up in the morning I'd recommend drinking it a couple of hours before bedtime. It takes a while to kick in.
Louie Anderson Falls into a Pool
12/10/14, 11:55

(Shit, passing cat apparently hit "Enter")

Homosexuals are all about assfucking. Even mourning takes the form of assfucking.

I've sense heard something about Anderson being gay. Would that make a difference? Maybe, but only if he was out back then.
Louie Anderson Falls into a Pool
12/10/14, 11:51

That's not it, and to my mind, this wasn't anywhere close. Kinison's joke was in bad taste, but it was a legitimate joke about the consequences of human weakness. Anderson's joke was a pornographic burlesque of the grief of those who mourned Rock Hudson. Homosexual
Bettie Page 'Hip Shake'
12/10/14, 09:49

Ouch. proofreading fail

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