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John Holmes Motherfucker

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Comments
45 minutes of rambling obscenity about the NewGhostbusters
06/02/16, 14:54

i think James Rolfe does some great work. His video on the 40 shittiest shark movies is a youtube classic. I respect the guy, and I would have respected his Ghostbusters video a lot more if he'd waited for the critics who ARE going to see the movie to speak first. Getting out in front of them like that is a dick move, and that's why the mainstream media singled him out for criticism., and making him the face of this controversy.

Which is unfortunate. There's plenty of misogyny in the backlash against this hypothetical movie no one has seen, and the best evidence for this is that we're being given EVERY OTHER POSSIBLE REASON for the backlash, and some of them frankly contradict each other. It's too much like the original. It's not enough like the original. It's an example of shity PC filmmaking. It's racist.

But Rolfe may be the exception. he seems to be motivated by a reverence for the original that I find touching, but silly... uh, I mean, misplaced. Most of his objections can be boiled down to the idea that the new movie doesn't take enough pains to kiss the ass of the sacred original, a movie so old that there are kids in the fourth grade whose parents weren't born yet,

If you were a child in the eighties, you were probably allowed to see the PG Ghostbusters, but were forbiidden to see R rated movies like Animal House, Porky's and the first Police Academy movies, and you probably weren't interested in seeing Fletch. This would explain how so many of the original Ghostbuster's rabid fans seem so unaware of what a vile seedbed of soulless 80s cliches the original is. I recently bought my own copy, and I still think it's entertaining but overrated. The thrills and laughs are there, but they float on a sea of eighties movie bullshit.

The first time we see our hero, Dr. Peter Venkman, he's literally torturing a male student with electric shocks so the student will leave, and he can scam a female student (around half his age) into having sex with him. Now, I'm not being politically correct here. I'm not offended by this, and I don't think that kids who see this will go on to torture anyone. What I'm saying is that we've left humanity behind, and entered a world inhabited by script devices.

Eighties comedies liked to give us comic heroes whose conduct would be unforgivable in a real life universe and then put them in a universe that makes them forgivable. Ghostbusters accomplishes this in the usual way, by surrounding the heroes with men who are less attractive, and less "manly" by comparison. The dean, the male librarian, the hotel manager, a musician, the accountant played by Rick Moranis-- these characters are all ineffectual, and most of them are subtly effeminate. To use the current vernacular, they're all cucks.

The main plot of Ghostbusters is simple. REALLY simple. We can capture the ghosts, but don't cross the streams. Thiings are getting worse, we'd better cross the streams.

That's it. They don't really interact with the ghosts or with zule, or the stay-puft marshmallow man. That's why the script needs to invent a bellicose EPA inspector, Walter Peck, AKA DICKLESS, so the movie can have some perfunctory, contrived conflict. Nothing this guy says or does makes any sense. If he's convinced that they're storing toxic materials, why would he order the plug pulled on the containment facility? Doesn't matter. He's there to be defied, mocked, his manhood insulted in the most obvious way, and finally to be drenched with marshmallow bukakke.
45 minutes of rambling obscenity about the NewGhostbusters
06/02/16, 12:20

i think James Rolfe does some great work. His video on the 40 shittiest shark movies is a youtube classic. I respect the guy, and I would have respected his Ghostbusters video a lot more if he'd waited for the critics who ARE going to see the movie to speak first. Getting out in front of them like that is a dick move, and that's why the mainstream media singled him out for criticism., and making him the face of this controversy.

Which is unfortunate. There's plenty of misogyny in the backlash against this hypothetical movie no one has seen, and the best evidence for this is that we're being given EVERY OTHER POSSIBLE REASON for the backlash, and some of them frankly contradict each other. It's too much like the original. It's not enough like the original. It's an example of shity PC filmmaking. It's racist.

But Rolfe may be the exception. he seems to be motivated by a reverence for the original that I find touching, but silly... uh, I mean, misplaced. Most of his objections can be boiled down to the idea that the new movie doesn't take enough pains to kiss the ass of the sacred original, a movie so old that there are kids in the fourth grade whose parents weren't born yet,

If you were a child in the eighties, you were probably allowed to see the PG Ghostbusters, but were forbiidden to see R rated movies like Animal House, Porky's and the first Police Academy movies, and you probably weren't interested in seeing Fletch. This would explain how so many of the original Ghostbuster's rabid fans seem so unaware of what a vile seedbed of soulless 80s cliches the original is. I recently bought my own copy, and I still think it's entertaining but overrated. The thrills and laughs are there, but they float on a sea of eighties movie bullshit.

The first time we see our hero, Dr. Peter Venkman, he's literally torturing a male student with electric shocks so the student will leave, and he can scam a female student (around half his age) into having sex with him. Now, I'm not being politically correct here. I'm not offended by this, and I don't think that kids who see this will go on to torture anyone. What I'm saying is that we've left humanity behind, and entered a world inhabited by script devices.

Eighties comedies liked to give us comic heroes whose conduct would be unforgivable in a real life universe and then put them in a universe that makes them forgivable. Ghostbusters accomplishes this in the usual way, by surrounding the heroes with men who are less attractive, and less "manly" by comparison. The dean, the male librarian, the hotel manager, a musician, the accountant played by Rick Moranis-- these characters are all ineffectual, and most of them are subtly effeminate. To use the current vernacular, they're all cucks.

The main plot of Ghostbusters is simple. REALLY simple. We can capture the ghosts, but don't cross the streams. Thiings are getting worse, we'd better cross the streams.

That's it. They don't really interact with the ghosts or with zule, or the stay-puft marshmallow man. That's why the script needs to invent a bellicose EPA inspector, Walter Peck, AKA DICKLESS, so the movie can have some perfunctory, contrived conflict. Nothing this guy says or does makes any sense. If he's convinced that they're storing toxic materials, why would he order the plug pulled on the containment facility? Doesn't matter. He's there to be defied, mocked, his manhood insulted in the most obvious way, and finally to be drenched with marshmallow bukakke.
The Death of Punk in Sixty Seconds by Bill Drummond
05/31/16, 11:24

Actually, that was a cool funny story, and l gave it one star because I thought it was funny. I love the SexPistols, but they're not sacred canon, that's sort of the point.

Except that the point of the music is the music, and that's what this guy, or his teenage self, doesn't get. The cranked up, stripped down sound of the sex pistols and the Ramones, the guitar and drums, was revolution enough. When Johnny sang that he actually wanted to BE anarchy, that was more about poetry than politics. And when Stiv Bators threatened to punch his girlfriend in "I Need Lunch", That was s rejection of shallow pop romance, not an endorsement of domestic violence.

He was right about Donna Summer, though. "I Feel Love " is a gorgeous track . Back then, I was 18, and I was anti-disco with a ridiculous fervor that reminds me of Gamergate. I was a serious white kid.
The Death of Punk in Sixty Seconds by Bill Drummond
05/30/16, 06:31

Never mind the bollocks.
Should Game Reviewers Be GOOD at Games?
05/30/16, 05:58

Well, I guess you see the connection. I don't.
John Holmes Motherfucker and Evil Homer finally meet face to face!
05/29/16, 11:24

My favorite shows are Six Feet Under, True Blood, Silicon Valley, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Veep. Cynthia likes Game of Thrones, but strange to say, it's just too violent for me. Way too much genital mutilation. It seems to be a staple.
John Holmes Motherfucker and Evil Homer finally meet face to face!
05/29/16, 11:17

Yes, although my favorite analogy is that Homer is the Dennis the Menace to my Mr Wilson.
John Holmes Motherfucker and Evil Homer finally meet face to face!
05/29/16, 01:50

*eating your bloomers.
John Holmes Motherfucker and Evil Homer finally meet face to face!
05/29/16, 01:49

I'm not supposed to call it a cell phone?

These stars are for "an old goat rating your bloomers off the fence", which reminds me of my grandfather, who, when I was five, taught me the words to "Bill Grogan's Goat". He passed when I was sixteen, and I resemble him more than any other relative, living or dead.
Feminists Killed Kurt Cobain
05/29/16, 01:39

So you hate yourself? I can relate. I also hate yourself.
John Holmes Motherfucker and Evil Homer finally meet face to face!
05/28/16, 20:11

The video is okay. The burns are hit and miss, but what makes the whole thing sublime are those deadpan reaction shots.

Silicon Valley is a great show. I binged through the first two seasons in a couple of days on HBO Now.

HBO NOW is a great deal, BTW. Every episode of Game of Thrones, Sex in the City, Entourage, john oliver and Bill mahr, Oz, the Sopranos, Curb your enthusiasm, Boardwalk Empire, Six Feet Under... the only thing missing is Larry Sanders. Plus movies. All streaming on demand for 15 dollars a month.
John Holmes Motherfucker and Evil Homer finally meet face to face!
05/28/16, 16:11

Not a fan of erectile misfunction.

There's nothing anyone could ever say about me in here that would be more appreciated than "not at all cynical"!
New Trump Ad Highlights Rape Allegations Against Bill Clinton
05/28/16, 13:27

He really posted it? Is that legal?
7 Questions That'll Make Atheists Think!
05/28/16, 13:12

>>I want some people hurting their balls. And some cute animals. I WANT SOME CUTE ANIMAL BALLS IN MY FACE RIGHT NOW.

They have those on the internet, you know.
7 Questions That'll Make Atheists Think!
05/28/16, 13:06

>>>The current apologetics answer is: "God is beyond any form of human science or law therefore he exists in a way you can't comprehend so it's impossible to prove he exists in a way a human would understand."

Well that's true. Making the score Believers 0 Atheists 0.

I'm an agnostic. And since I can logically prove that God either exists or doesn't exist, I WIN!
Should Game Reviewers Be GOOD at Games?
05/28/16, 08:48

It's valid to want better game footage. It's valid to criticize bad game footage. What's stupid and dickish as hell is to use a clip of bad footage as the basis for a droning sermon invalidating games media, and then to get indignant when some calls you out for being an asshole.

And "bad at games" is not a valid conclusion from watching someone play one game.. I suck at Doom. I rule at Centipede.
Dead is Dead (1970, NSFW)
05/28/16, 08:35

Uh... Godfrey Campridge. Shit.
Dead is Dead (1970, NSFW)
05/28/16, 08:35

Rodney Dangerfield just isn't as funny as I remember him.
Tucker Carlson Rips on Glenn Beck After Facebook Meeting
05/28/16, 04:34

John Holmes Mothercucker
Should Game Reviewers Be GOOD at Games?
05/28/16, 04:33

I upvoted this strictly because I clicked on the wrong link.

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