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John Holmes Motherfucker

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Comments
Canadian woman stops car to rescue ducklings, is found guilty of causing deaths in ensuing accident
07/09/14, 18:58

Yes and No. my friend and I collaborate on these rescues. I do the feeding and scooping, she pays the bills.

We sparred a long time over the name of this kitten. My original choice was LOKI. She came up with ANAHITA, a persian goddess. I agreed because it could be shortened to ANITA, which would be provocative on the internet, for exactly the reason you mentioned. Also, I like "LITTLE ANITA". To me it evokes Little Eva, who recorded the Loco-Motion in 1962. It's retro sexy sophisticated.

This little kitten came up to me when I took out the garbage 2 weeks ago. I think she's going to turn out to be crazy intelligent.

http://t.co/RzQn7jSqhB
Canadian woman stops car to rescue ducklings, is found guilty of causing deaths in ensuing accident
07/09/14, 14:16

Locally, there was a case of a woman who lost her own life, while saving a litter of kittens that had been abandoned on the highway. I never met the woman, but, believe it or not, I met the kittens. They were safely delivered to a no-kill shelter in my neighborhood, and someone showed them to me when I was there to inquire about a spaying. So incredibly innocent, they'll ;llllllllllllllllllllllllnever know.re


The previous sentence was a collaboration between me and Little Anita.

http://t.co/XfgLBOq0wx

c xAaaaaaaaa cv
Pringles Stargate
07/09/14, 11:39

"Spock, I think I'm in love with Edith Keeler."


"Edith Keeler must die,"
Dear White Liberals: Stop Denying Your Racism
07/09/14, 10:39

Never in the history of human discourse has anything good ever followed "I'm honestly not a racist, but..."
Dear White Liberals: Stop Denying Your Racism
07/09/14, 10:36

She's just a kid, and her chances of growing into an awesome, if occasionally infuriating human being are excellent.
Dear White Liberals: Stop Denying Your Racism
07/09/14, 10:34

Is it such a deep mystery? Someone who is obviously a racist calls you a racist, and it's annoying. Your average nonwhite might say "Welcome to my world."
Fox News Fratboy Douchebag Trolls Gay Pride Parade
07/09/14, 10:17

The truth is less about homophobes secretly being gay as being terrified that they might be gay.This guy is probably neither, he's just working for Fox News.
Fox News Fratboy Douchebag Trolls Gay Pride Parade
07/09/14, 10:00

At the fourth of july parade: Are you sure you really NEED this parade, even through Independece from Britain is pretty much a done deal?
Helen Mirren in Herostratus (1967)
07/08/14, 08:19

She played Queen Elizabeth II in a movie. When you've got balls like that, the tits are just gravy.

You know something? I always want to remember the day I posted:

When you've got balls like that, the tits are just gravy.

I think I'll take a nap now, my creative juices are depleted after that.
John Oliver on Fireworks
07/08/14, 02:44

"Keep chanting!" was pure gold!
Cheerleader Kills Exotic Animals
07/08/14, 01:37

The point about money is that money is what protects the animals. Protecting the species is a higher moral good than not protecting the species. Posting angry rants is not protecting the species. Regulated hunting to raise money for conservation is protecting the species. Morally better than not protecting the species.
Cheerleader Kills Exotic Animals
07/08/14, 01:22

>>i think there is value in decrying the moral grey area this operates in, as to simply accept it without discussion could be seen as condoning it in perpetuity. this practice is, at best, a 'lesser evil.'

You don't like moral grey areas?

I honestly don't think so. I eat meat, so I can't object to the killing itself, and if the activity actually preserves species, that's not a lesser evil, it's a positive good. Maybe it's the lesser of two goods. Kendall herself likes to talk about Teddy Roosevelt, who was an avid hunter. Would we even have the word "conservatiion" if not for Teddy Roosevelt?

I'm not sure the Monsanto analogy really works, but maybe someone would like to expand on that.
Cheerleader Kills Exotic Animals
07/07/14, 17:58

Without meaning to, Catie misrepresented the facts. She talked about Kendall Jones hypothetically killing the last a species, which is not remotely possiblle. She doesn't seem to know anything about the controlled , regulated hunt.

You can say that it's still okay to hate Kendall Jones because she's a twat, even though she's helping preserve animal populations, but Catie, in pefect innocene, though perhaps also out of laziness limited resources and a busy schedule, portrayed her as decimating animal populations.
Cheerleader Kills Exotic Animals
07/07/14, 16:40

I might happily fuck any number of 22 year old women, but not this one. It would be like lighting your cigar with the Mona Lisa.
Petting Animals Against Their Will (CuddleRape) Is Exploitation.
07/07/14, 16:25

CuddleMcRape
You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory
07/07/14, 16:22

If I could, I surely would.
Cheerleader Kills Exotic Animals
07/07/14, 15:57

Oh, grow up.
Gargling Urine and other ancient beauty secrets
07/07/14, 15:44

>>Mr Holmes goes into a lot of detail here:

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=119603

Oh, and so you chose the great santa-shaming incident. Fuck you, Homer . Did you know that was my birthday? Most depressing birthday of my life.
Gargling Urine and other ancient beauty secrets
07/07/14, 15:41

>>In short, he is a little obsessed with Boxxy, to the point where he tracked down and now regularly communicates with Boxxy's IRL mother. He knows everything there is to know about Boxxy, and has many strong opinions about Boxxy minutia that he will share, at great length, with or without provocation. Some poesters are creeped out by this, as he is sixty, and she is barely out of highschool; others are amused, for the same reason.

I'll be sixty in 2018, and I didn't "track down" Catie's mom. We both post on the same site.

>>>He insists his interest is nonsexual.

I was able to convince her mom of that, and I consider that to be the gold standard, but I don't deny a kind of crush, a deep deep "daaaaaw". She's like a kitten who is probably smarter than you. Oh, and she is probably smarter than you. She's definitely smarter than me.

Most fundamentally, I see her as the gifted young person I once was, only succeeding this time. That's very exhilerating and very painful by turns.
Gargling Urine and other ancient beauty secrets
07/07/14, 15:23

Holy shit, when did this get voted out? How did I miss it?

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