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John Holmes Motherfucker

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Comments
Jerry Stiller & Anne Meara - The Last Two People On Earth / TV Commercials (1967)
05/25/15, 11:23

Whatever's going on here, it just doesn't seem like my problem.
Hammond Song
05/25/15, 08:01

If you go down to Hammond
You'll never come back
In my opinion you're
On the wrong track
We'll always love you but
That's not the point

If you go with that fella
Forget about us
As far as I'm concerned
That would be just
Throwing yourself away
Not even trying
Come on you're lying to me

Well, I went down to Hammond
I did as I pleased
I ain't the only one
Who's got this disease

Why don't you face the fact
You old upstart
We fall apart

You'd be okay if you'd
Just stay in school
Don't be a fool

Do your eyes have an answer
To this song of mine?
They say we meet again
On down the line

Where is on down the line
How far away?
Tell me I'm okay

If you go down to Hammond
You'll never come back
Jerry Stiller & Anne Meara - The Last Two People On Earth / TV Commercials (1967)
05/25/15, 07:21

The thing I'll always admire about Stiller and Meara is that they were the only show business couple I can think of who broke up the act, both went solo, and yet they stayed married. This seems rare to me. I don't know anything about how it happened, but I think it says something wonderful about their relationship, something about independence, generosity, communication, or all of the above.
Plane Drops Feces Onto Sweet 16 Party
05/24/15, 13:30

Well, when I started this, I hadn't seen the geese theory. I'm still not convinced. It may well be that someone in the FAA decided that it's easier to tell people that it's geese than to send a specimen to Quantico for DNA analysis and start the investigation.

But that's more than I can know. Of course, none of this applies if it's geese.

>>Is life imprisonment enough, or has Yon Lady's honor been so sullied that only death can set aright the crime?

If it's geese, I'm perfectly fine with the death penalty.
Plane Drops Feces Onto Sweet 16 Party
05/24/15, 12:57

>>The not being frozen part is the real giveaway to me, unless the plane was flying low so they could hit their target more easily.

Do we know for sure that it wasn't frozen? If a whole lot of shit is falling from the sky, is your first thought to check and see if it's frozen? Would you be able to tell by looking at it? How would you check?

>>the waste should have been frozen into fist-sized chunks of turd-hail,

I'm looking at my fist right now. If anything this size comes out of your ass, Homer, it makes me wonder what you've been putting up there.
Plane Drops Feces Onto Sweet 16 Party
05/24/15, 12:30

Thank goodness! Here comes Evil Homer, heroically rushing to defend our God-given right of free expression. Because, folks, this is a slippery slope. Sure, today they're just arresting those who drop shit on other people from passing airplanes. But tomorrow, they'll be arresting people who piss off of bridges onto passing cars. Do we really want to see that? What is this, Iran? And what's after that? Vomiting? Hocking loogies? No thanks, Mr. Obama. Here is where we take a stand against Big Brother.

Also, here are those stars I owe you, Homer!
Plane Drops Feces Onto Sweet 16 Party
05/24/15, 11:10

It's difficult, but I really intend to go out of my way to AVOID making a bad pun here, because, after the "chocolate rain" tag, there’s nothing you can say that could make this any better. EXCEPT that they somehow caught the perp or perps. As amusing and POEworthy as this is. I'd really like to see somebody punished, because this is some serious malice and/or negligence here. Fuck these assholes.

Damn it! So close!
How Activia works
05/24/15, 10:50

Itth altho a lame excuthe for John continuing to talk about himthelf. At leatht infinite zetht doethn't thtart whole videoth dedicated to thith.
Man Swallows Mummified Human Toe, Pays $500 in the Yukon
05/23/15, 21:23

Alcohol is a hell of a drug.
How Activia works
05/23/15, 19:19

Okay, now I'm bored. Insert generic flip reply here.
How Activia works
05/23/15, 17:00

Meow! Kitty has claws!
How Activia works
05/23/15, 11:10

Hooker, if you ever take that stick out of your ass and look around, you may discover that, for better or for worse, nobody really needs an excuse to talk about themselves.
Shields & yarnell breakfast show
05/23/15, 09:58

Its hard to imagine how this shit blew people's minds 35 years ago.partly because "the robot" became such a perennial part of our culture. In no time, bands were incorporating it into their stage moves, most famously Devo, and from that point on, it never really went away.

God, they were cute as hell, both of them.
How Activia works
05/23/15, 08:23

Seriously, there's a place for context, but in a lot of my videos, I consciously go for "what the fuck am I looking at?", which is a pretty common youtube comment. I get. Of course, if you're not curious about what you're looking at, I've failed, and if you're not actually looking at anything, I've cheated.

But I thought the context here is pretty straightforward. It's in the title, and in the description. You want a backstory? Some flashbacks maybe? It's okay if you just don't like it. You don't need a bullshit reason

I lost the files for this, and so I never really finished it. I intended to have a whole crowd of little bacteria guys. Maybe I'll reshoot, and take another whack at it one day. In the meantime, I submitted this in response to the colon graphics in that wonderful Finnish Feminists Anal Sex video.
How Activia works
05/22/15, 22:48

No, you don't understand! It's a metaphor for the American educational system!
How Activia works
05/22/15, 22:02

I don't know. I picked this colon because it was cancer-free. It turns out that a lot of the colonoscopy footage on YouTube is actually pretty disgusting.
How Activia works
05/22/15, 21:21

>>For a minute there I thought I was looking at a bunch of dancing cats, casting spells with magical fairy wands. While inside a colon.

No, my colon looks like that, but this is just some medical footage I found on YouTube.
How Activia works
05/22/15, 21:16

>>>Your face is looking better John I must say. It's nice to see the pedophilic sheet weevils that have been crawling around your submissions I mentioned earlier were not just a figment of my imagination


******Are you as turned on as I am right now?
Mr. Food makes 'Sweet Vidalia Pie'
05/22/15, 06:33

You've got a point, but its not that important. For the REAL fans, the ones who did the cooking, the proof of the pudding is how well the recipes work out. For these people, who used to send in self-addressed envelopes, the real action is on the website, which is now the home of the MR FOOD TEST KITCHEN.

The name says it all. Whether you actually saw him cooking, I suspect that the foundation of his empire was the quality of the recipes.
Mr. Food makes 'Sweet Vidalia Pie'
05/21/15, 19:00

You can still find this recipe on mrfood.com Search for "sweet vadalia pie"; just searching for vadalia onions didn't work.

The Mr Food Test kitchen is still active. Particularly since I am learning to control diabetes, the website looks like a valuable resource, but anyone who wants to enjoy food, and therefore life, will find a ton of useful information.

But for all its useful matter, it really needs more ART!

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