Hooper_X
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| Comments |
First we kill all the cell phones.
12/17/09, 08:52
Because all of these movies would have been maybe twenty minutes long if the phones worked. "Hi, 911? I'm trapped in a warehouse and this guy has chained me to a fucking wall. Please send help. You don't believe me? OKAY WELL THEN I HAVE A BOMB AND A GUN AND I'M GONNA KILL PEOPLE. NOW WILL YOU COME?"
Then again, it's not like roadside assistance totally would have gotten out to bumblefuck breakdown county in fifteen minutes.
That'd actually be an infinitely better source of suspense in one of these joints - the teenagers' car breaks down and they have to wait like, two hours for the tow truck to get out there. In the mean time - TERROR! |
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Rachel Maddow-Atheist under fire for (lack of) beliefs
12/17/09, 00:13
So a bunch of craphole states require you to believe in God in order to get elected?
I'm not surprised, because it'd take a fucking miracle for an open atheist to get elected in half of those states. |
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An Incredibly Creepy Christmas Ad.
12/17/09, 00:07
The word you're looking for is "leer." |
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An Incredibly Creepy Christmas Ad.
12/16/09, 21:30
Yeah, that's pretty much the frosting on the cake of terrible. |
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Internet archaeologists find ruins of 'Friendster' civilization
12/16/09, 19:43
Which is great, because now MySpace is in the fucking tubes and everyone has jumped ship for Facebook. |
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An Incredibly Creepy Christmas Ad.
12/16/09, 19:37
A little girl sings a song about how she'd totally fuck Santa if he brings her something nice. Also, that creepy leer that the brother or whoever gives her at the end. |
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Dick Armey sneers at ‘a woman named Maddox’ who ‘has a Ph.D. in something that doesn’t matter.’
12/16/09, 09:52
COLLEGE IS FOR FAGGOTS AND SISSIES ALL YOU REALLY NEED IS GOOD OLD AMERICAN COMMON SENSE (THAT IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY FOX NEWS!!!) |
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Space Jam (1996)
12/15/09, 12:33
I feel her pain. And then I immediately thought "No, you dumbass, it's like the magic feather in Dumbo." |
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Sheamus Beats John Cena for WWE Title
12/15/09, 12:27
The crowd certainly didn't seem to appreciate it. |
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Sheamus Beats John Cena for WWE Title
12/15/09, 12:27
I haven't watched WWE programming in a while, but holy crap, that's unexpected. (Also, he's the Celtic Warrior, his name is Sheamus, and his theme music is the same generic butt rock as everyone else? They couldn't spring for Flogging Molly or a bowdlerized Pogues or something?) |
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Space Jam (1996)
12/15/09, 10:24
In high school I took a date to this movie with the explicit intent of sitting in the back and trying to cop a feel. (the theater in our hometown only had one screen, and pretty much existed entirely so high school kids could sit in the back and make out)
Fifteen minutes in, the film broke and we were all issued refunds.
In retrospect, it was probably for the best. |
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Space Jam (1996)
12/15/09, 10:22
What? |
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The Final Events of Bible Prophecy
12/13/09, 19:01
One of the local radio stations plays one of these guys, and he explicitly said that this was the first time in human history that the bible prophecy blah blah could ever happen, 'cause the prophets in Jerusalem will be "seen by the whole world," and you can't do that without global satellite television.
Oh, kooks. |
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Waiting for Armageddon - trailer
12/13/09, 18:31
It's really got to suck believing all of that.
Also: BANK GOTHIC MEANS THIS FILM IS VERY SERIOUS. |
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Daily Show: John Stewart Calls Out Gretchen Carlson Of Fox & Friends
12/10/09, 17:26
I actually physically got an erection while watching this the first time. |
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Drugs Drugs Drugs
12/10/09, 09:08
John And Kate Plus Eighty-Five. |
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Zero Punctuation - Left 4 Dead 2 & New Super Mario Bros Wii
12/10/09, 09:04
Superman, Batman, and two newly hatched ducklings. |
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Sex Trek
12/10/09, 08:57
Tell me there's a sequel called "Sex Trek: The Next Penetration." |
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Infomercial Hell from Everything Is Terrible
12/09/09, 18:11
Also, seriously, this needs the "First World Problems" tag more than anything has ever needed it before. |
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Lily C.A.T.: A BLOO BLA BLOO BLOO
12/09/09, 13:09
I swear to god I was expecting the girl to start crying about how one time she went to the movie theater and she had this bag of fake vomit and she took it and she leaned over the balcony and she went HURRG HURRG HUAAAARG and threw it over but then everybody else started throwing up and it was so terrible and she's really really sorry and A BLOO BLOO BLOO |
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