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EvilHomer

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Comments
STRAFEŽ by Pixel Titans
01/21/15, 08:30

Can't wait to hear JHMF explain how this is what video games are really like.
You're ruining my career!
01/21/15, 05:50

Counterpoint: yes I can.

Nobody forced him to work for Apple. He could have easily found a more respectable career, like rooster-fight promoter, meth terrorist, or snuff-film director.
Fallout: Nuka Break creators present 'Legend of Grimrock'
01/21/15, 03:45

I like that word. Famfilms is now a word. I have spoken.
You're ruining my career!
01/21/15, 03:18

My job has me dealing almost exclusively with homeless people, crazy people, crazy homeless people, all manner of drug addicts, and the occasional guy with a gun. They really aren't as bad as folks make them out to be.

The Apple employee handled it well enough, I guess. I find it hard to sympathize with him, since he works for fucking Apple, that sniveling little class-traitor, but as Mr Mothership implies, he did about as well as he could given his physical and sociological limitations. A better idea might have been to lead the guy outside the store first (perhaps signaling backup to accompany you), and THEN drop the banhammer on him. Apple Guy clearly had prior rapport with Rap Artist, and Rap Artist seemed both a) close to having a panic reaction and b) compliant and looking to bargain. Leverage that, get him out of the store first, then escalate. Don't just skip straight to the passive aggressive power trip, especially when the rap artist wasn't disrespecting *you*, he was disrespecting your shitty Orwellian store for jerks.

Or, better yet, give the dude a dang iPad! I'm sure you've got a beater sitting around somewhere, or if not, there's ways to make merchandise disappear without it turning up as shrinkage; you said you were his friend, you lying sack of poop, but what have you ever done for him?!
You're ruining my career!
01/21/15, 02:56

Geeze Louise, Gmork, you don't have to throw a Chimpout over this!


I mean, where would the Beastie Boys be today if people had told them to Be Quiet! and they obeyed? If they hadn't made sure to crank their shit to eleven and Party Hard at every possible opportunity, regardless of the consequences?

But oh, since they're *white* you think it's cool.
You're ruining my career!
01/20/15, 17:48

Eight year-old with a sympathetic disability like leukemia, or pretty white woman with high cheek bones and a sexy flannel wardrobe.
American Sniper - baby scene
01/20/15, 17:39

Yeah, well you try lying buried inside a goddamn sand dune on the Syrian border for five days straight.

Stupid bitch.
You're ruining my career!
01/20/15, 13:53

Poor guy. He reminds me of a black Chris Chan. I hope he doesn't hurt himself, and perhaps some internet viewers will be kind and buy him a laptop?
Old enough for kisses
01/20/15, 06:27

Wow, read it up on Wikipedia, and it's actually WORSE with context.
Old enough for kisses
01/20/15, 05:43

Context?
U.S. Secretly Infiltrated Cuba's Hip-Hop Scene To Spark Anti-Government Movement: Report
01/20/15, 05:20

I have here in my hand a list of two-hundred-and-five Secret Liberals, who have infiltrated both Havanawood and the revolutionary leadership, with the express purpose of promoting amongst our youth such un-Cuban values as freedom, cynicism, and democracy. I urge you, Comrade Comandante, to root out and destroy these dangerous vipers, before the Communist Party is accused of being the bedfellow of international liberalism!
Vampire Bat
01/20/15, 04:56

Mute video on right:

http://youtubedoubler.com/en6e
The launch of New Coke
01/20/15, 04:50

>> People can't blind taste the difference between cane sugar and corn syrup...or even brands despite different formulations.

This is false. While amateur studies often indicate a general trend towards consumer misidentification of brands, this has more to do with the limits of your average consumer's palate than with an equivalency in taste between soda products. And claiming that there us no difference in taste between cane sugar and corn syrup is flat out wrong - while the difference is less pronounced than, say, the difference between corn syrup and a "sugar-free" sweetener such as Sorbitol (disgusting stuff), the two produce a noticeably different mouthfeel and finish.
The launch of New Coke
01/20/15, 02:34

Basically, that one goes: New Coke was a disingenuous marketing ploy, meant not to actually replace Coke, but to drum up controversy and therefor buzz for the aging brand. Once they "brought back" Coke Classic, it would be seen as this huge victory for consumers, and relieved Americans would buy it in droves. This is essentially what happened - New Coke bombed, but Coke Classic made a killing and saved it's market share.

Another fun conspiracy theory is that Coke Classic isn't actually Coke Classic; it's a new formula with a false label. New Coke was brought in to confuse soda drinkers and, once our tastebuds were so used to the "new" taste that we'd forgotten precisely how the original Coke tasted, a new formula Coke "Classic" would be introduced and nobody would notice the difference. This one's actually got a kernel of truth to it, because apparently the re-introduction was when Coke made the switch-off from cane sugar to corn syrup sweetener. As any soda hipsters who've been drinking craft sodas and/or the sugar-sweetened nostalgia versions of popular brands that've been cropping up in recent years can tell you, there is a noticeable difference in taste.
The launch of New Coke
01/20/15, 02:17

COKE'S ARMS ARE NOT BLUE!!!!! COCA-COLA, CHANGE THEM BACK!!!!!
Vampire Bat
01/20/15, 02:02

I'd love to see a Flutterbat PMV of this. Make it happen, people!
Skallagrim's opinion on the Star Wars lightsaber crossguard
01/20/15, 01:56

Well yes, that's something else too. The Sith are capable of doing so much more than just waving their lightsabers around; what would armor matter to a fistfull of force lightning? Jedi, being stupid, are of course incapable of thinking outside the box like that, but the Sith's innovative approach to problem solving would have rendered their enemy's armor far less effective. Perhaps this is why Dark Side practitioners are more prone to being depicted with armor, and Jedi less so - because the Jedi knew they'd have no chance against the superior tactical prowess of their Sith opponents anyway.
Itchy and Scratchy: Porch Pals
01/20/15, 01:43

Marge's Kickstarter raised $158,000 for this.
Black Market Booty: Trans Woman Boosts Butt With 100+ Illegal Injections
01/19/15, 18:02

I was MORTIFIED when I learned Mana from Malice Mizer was a trap. :(
Black Market Booty: Trans Woman Boosts Butt With 100+ Illegal Injections
01/19/15, 17:58

Assuming you're being serious, Gmork, let me ask you this: what kind of man thinks long and hard about how he'd play the "transexual guessing game"? Like, oh no, all these tempting traps everywhere, what happens if I encounter one, WILL I KNOW OR WON'T I?

What does this behavior say about you as a person?

I can't wait for your own personal Tomgirl Saga, by the way.

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