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EvilHomer

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Comments
Top 10 anime women I'd like to go inside
08/24/13, 14:43

I'm sorry, Wonko. I know you're usually a chipper ray of sunshine. I didn't mean to bring you down, or ruin any memories you might have had of a time back before PoE was a morass of insanity and sadness.

I wasn't always like this. It didn't really start until three years back, when my fiance left me. We'd been together since high school, and we were planning on getting married as soon as I came home from the military. I timed my exit date so I'd be done right around the time she finished her Masters degree. It's a classic story, you guys know it goes. Military relationships, they always end in tears and a month-long period of time in which you can't remember anything besides waking up one morning on a motel-room floor with a hole in your jaw.

But I'm not bitter. Now she's off in California, dating a guy who owns a mid-sized software company, and I'm in a happy and totally fulfilling relationship with Rainbow Dash. Really, it worked out just fine for the both of us!
Space Battleship Yamato 2199 destruction of planet alteria
08/24/13, 12:48

Obama 2196!
Top 10 anime women I'd like to go inside
08/24/13, 12:18

That's a good list, asian hick!

Mine is far from definitive, and is subject to change on at least a weekly basis. A lot depends on whether our data set is to include "special cases", like multi-national series (such as Inspector Gadget) or video game girls who've also appeared in anime tie-ins (my list of Top 10 Game Girls is FAR more contentious than my list of Top 10 Anime Girls, and must be broken down into individual genres and series if we are to have any hope of sorting it all out). An additional problem, which should be of interest to academics, is that the data set is prone to periodic corruption, because sometimes I forget about certain girls. I'd estimate that the margin of error is +/- 2 spaces for each of the girls I have listed, except for my first pick, whose position at the top of my harem is constant, stable, and beyond question. Some of my colleagues may find this margin of error to be unacceptable, but I challenge them to do better.

For the purposes of this particular list, I will consider only girls who are found primarily in anime, and I will restrict myself to no more than two members of the Sailor Scouts. Otherwise I'd probably just fill it up with the Inner Senshi.




10. Deunan Knute - Appleseed
The number ten spot spot is really hard to give out - who makes the cut? Should it be Alita? (she's a robot though, so, technically speaking, not a GIRL) Should it be Natsumi from Jungle de Ikou? (AMAZING tits, but is she still considered a ten year old after her transformation?) Maybe it should go to Noriko Takaya? (but I've already got a mecha pilot on the list) What about Urd, Pink, Yokho, Lady Kayura, or Kaori? So many choices! I give the tenth spot to Deunan, because I feel that cyberpunk girls are tragically under-represented in the rest my list. Plus, she reminds of Rebecca Chambers, who's been standing at the number one spot on my Top 10 Resident Evil Girls list for more than a decade.

9. A-Ko - Project A-Ko
She's one of the reasons I got into tough-yet-girly lesbians. Her series was great, and the fan service was at once generous yet tasteful; A-Ko knew how to show off just enough skin to keep you drooling, yet not so much that it became vulgar. Truly a class act.

8. Yoko Littner - Gurren Lagann
Do I really need to defend this choice? Gurren Lagann is one of the few post-90s animes I genuinely enjoyed, and Yoko is smoking hot.

7. Ryomou Shimei - Ikki Tousen
Like the unholy union between Sailor Mercury, Gogo Yubari, and Amazing Nurse Nanako, what's not to like? Please note that, while Ikki Tousen has a TON of fine anime girls (possibly the best overall selection since Sailor Moon), I'm limiting myself to only one Vixen here, because to be honest I'd find it a LITTLE weird to be banging the female reincarnation of Guan Yu or Sun Ce.

6. Chocolate Misu - Sorceror Hunters
NOSE BLEED. I haven't watched a single episode of Sorceror Hunters in my life, but GOD DAMN. Nazi chic done right! I'm only interested in the suspenders version, though. The censored one can get the hell off my list.

5. Saeko Busujima - HotD
She looks like Rarity, she speaks like Fluttershy, and she fights like Rainbow Dash. What more need be said? She's absolutely perfect, and it's too bad the show only got one season.

4. Ami Mizuno - Sailor Moon
Sailor Mercury is cute, that I won't deny. She's also got a really nice personality, and I can totally see why the Sailor Moon fan community, as a whole, considers her to be the most bangable Sailor Scout. But she's NOT the most bangable Sailor Scout, and she loses points due to the bitterness and resentment I feel over the doujin community's focus on her over Usagi. So that's why she's only number 4.

3. Jessie - Pokemon
I never really got into Pokemon, but I would like to get into Jessie, in a manner of speaking. She's got a really sexy character design, like Jessica Rabbit as envisioned by the Megaman Universe, and there's something about that ruthless corporate-gangsta attitude of hers. Mrrrppph.

2. Akane and Nabiki Tendo - Ranma 1/2
I list them both in the same entry because it's hard to decide. Akane and her sister perfectly embody the classic good girl/ bad girl duality. The Madonna and the Whore, the wife and the mistress, the Fluttershy and the Pinkie Pie. Which to pick, the eternal dilemma. I'd probably go with both at the same time, and then I'd dump one of them into the Spring of Drowned Girl so I could transform her into Ranma-Chan at my leisure.

1. Usagi Tsukino - Sailor Moon
Duh.
Top 10 anime women I'd like to go inside
08/24/13, 01:19

I don't know if Chrysalis would be in my top ten, but ever since I first saw her, I've been wondering what it'd be like to bang one of those Swiss-cheese holes.

I bet it'd be cold, scratchy, and mucusy, like fucking a partially caramelized slug. But in a good way.
Top 10 anime women I'd like to go inside
08/23/13, 23:58

Just fillies? No mares?
Top 10 anime women I'd like to go inside
08/23/13, 23:29

There can be only one.
Top 10 anime women I'd like to go inside
08/23/13, 23:28

NOW THAT YOU'VE SEEN MY CHOICES, LET'S HEAR YOURS.

You should know what to do.
Orc Shaman War Drums Ritual Song
08/23/13, 17:43

Morrowind's still better, but the Gothic series is right up there. If and when you decide to check it out, start with the first one; Gothic is a very plot-oriented series (plot as in story, not pony ass) and, while the later games are better than the earlier ones, you'll want to play them in order for the full effect.

BONUS FUN FACT: Gothic III contains the single best monster in any RPG ever - the dreaded Constipated Lizard.
2012 Vice documentary about Donk
08/23/13, 17:31

That's some pretty bad donk.

All my stars are for Willy.
Orc Shaman War Drums Ritual Song
08/23/13, 17:25

This game was so awesome.
Gabber: The Evil EDM (warning: strobing)
08/23/13, 16:29

Bucking the trends of other hipsters is the most hipster thing you can do.
Vladimir Pliassov plays on the machine of his own invention
08/23/13, 15:31

Big deal. My synthesizer lets me play on a violin, viola, and cello, all at the same time, and then I can throw in a dubstep beat for good measure.
Young Guns Go For It - The Story of Soft Cell (BBC, 2010)
08/23/13, 14:01

Game of Thrones is story arc driven and has a pretty complex plot, so I wouldn't recommend watching it out of order; you won't know what's going on, and worse, you might run in to some serious spoilers (the series has some of the best "Holy fuck!" moments in television history). It's on HBO, like True Blood, so if you're an HBO subscriber you can probably find the first episode on their HBO Go website. Or just pirate it, cough cough cough.

But yes, Tyrion is a total sex dwarf, and I'm actually surprised I can't find any Sex Dwarf / Tyrion AMVs.
Which Lucky Star girls would I sleep with
08/23/13, 13:40

Maybe the ones in YOUR basement.
Which Lucky Star girls would I sleep with
08/23/13, 13:40

If you go back and watch his earlier videos, you can actually track his headlong descent into out-of-the-closet pedophilia. He starts off taking every opportunity he can to let us know he's NOT a pedo, EW GROSS, look guys see how mightily he doth protest. Then, as he gets more comfortable with his surroundings, his reactions steadily become less melodramatic and more accommodating towards the idea of lolicon, until now you've got him opening his videos with lines like "me likee the lolis, especially when they legal!"

I wonder if he's got one of those loli-rape t-shirts?
Armed Robbery Attempt Frustrated.
08/23/13, 12:21

Bouncers.
Blowback Rubberband-firing wooden Desert Eagle replica
08/23/13, 12:11

Any maniac can walk into any store right now and buy a rubberband. There's not even a waiting period!
Which Lucky Star girls would I sleep with
08/23/13, 11:23

Who's the one that looks like Sailor Mercury wearing her visor? The narrator says he hates her, but going on first impressions here, she'd be the one I pick.
Young Guns Go For It - The Story of Soft Cell (BBC, 2010)
08/23/13, 08:42

You've never seen Game of Thrones? You should check it out, the TV show is absolutely brilliant, and the books are even better. Probably the second best thing on television right now, after Breaking Bad.

Plus, a couple of the main characters are dog people! Well, not really dog people, but they have pet wolves, and they do this magical spirit-bonding thing where they inhabit the body of their wolf and run around doing wolfie things. It's really cool, if you're into medieval fantasy stuff, I think you might like it.
Gabber: The Evil EDM (warning: strobing)
08/23/13, 08:03

Yeah, you're right, there's no salvaging that comment. Gabber fans aren't really twats, and the narrator doesn't really zing in this one; he actually seems to like both the music and the people.

I was thinking of making a joke about high-functioning chavs, but it's too late now.

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