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EvilHomer

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Comments
Christmas Gifts For the Homeless
12/29/13, 08:19

I don't know what you're awwwing about, baleen, this guy is more of a self-important douche than Edward Snowden. Notice how it's not enough for him to "do good", he must be *seen* to do good.

Giving a cheapass blanket as a gift? That's a stocking stuffer in the middle class world. Not only is the Random Altruist assured eternal fame and hero status, he'll also wind up with a palace in Bolivia, traveling like a supersaint under a veil of mystique. The amount of fawning adoration pussy will be almost limitless. Yes, I have no proof that this will happen, but you have no proof that he's somehow motivated by anything other than narcissism or a need for attention.
Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! - 'Mr. Cool'
12/29/13, 06:07

Dairyqueen misses not having anyone around that's worth shooting.
A video featuring Larry Bundy Jr
12/29/13, 05:32

I vaguely remember LJDrama, mostly on account of GirlVinyl, original webmistress and arch-traitor of ED. And I think we all know where THAT went... talk about serial trolls who are even more fat and douchey than the idiots they target!

I don't think you should be skipping ChrisChan, though. People have done some horrible things to Chris, but his body of work is wildly entertaining, and he's thrived and flowered under adversity far more than your average internet target. That the current CWCki (webmaster? chief editor? what is he, exactly?) is just as fat and dorky as our hero is a point well taken, but two things about that. One, you shouldn't hold Larry's fatness against Chris. Not following CWC on account of guys like Larry Bundy makes aobut as much sense as not following Richard Dawkins on account of Ted Haggard. Two, I think a big part of Chris' appeal lies in the fact that he's really not that different from the rest of us. Chris is a Nerd Everyman; he's extreme, grotesque, and off-the-wall, but the difference between him and the rest of us internet-dwelling geekwads is one of degree, not of kind. He's a horrible mirror held up to the internet, a vision of what each of us could become, of the cheetos-encrusted darkness that lurks deep within us all.
Christmas Gifts For the Homeless
12/29/13, 04:40

"Most of these items will just get pawned for drug money!"

Actually, I'm kinda surprised he's not handing out cartloads of booze and looseys. Either these homebums were too tactful to ask, this guy was too uptight to deliver, or both.
Christmas Gifts For the Homeless
12/29/13, 04:32

I refuse to watch anything "heartwarming" that begins with upbeat ukelele music.

Still, I think SOME PEOPLE here could learn a lesson or two from this guy's behavior. JOHN HOLMES. Our resident crustie was depending on you, buddy. All she wanted for Christmas was some dick pics, and you stiffed her.
How to ruin Christmas for a child with bad grades.
12/29/13, 04:23

This kid needs to stop crying and man the hell up. When I was little, I wanted an original Playstation for Christmas, and my parents wouldn't give it to me until I'd read Daniel Boorstin's "The Discoverers".

Fuck Christmas. Needs "childhood trauma" tag.
Satanism Unmasked: Dungeons & Dragons
12/29/13, 04:07

So Kenneth Grant was the original Otherkin?
Merry Christmas from Edward Snowden
12/28/13, 12:02

I'd like to hear your views on the subject.
Merry Christmas from Edward Snowden
12/28/13, 11:57

Meth may be as American as apple pie, but so is jailing the economically disadvantaged for non-violent crimes so that crony capitalists can have a source of dirt cheap, 13th Amendment-friendly slave labor.

OOPS, oh shit, sorry. Disregard that one, too, NSA friends. I didn't mean it! I'm a patriot, I swear!

One of the good patriots, I mean! Not the sort who flies Gadsden flags and bitches about Ruby Ridge; the sort who spends his weekend watching American Idol, and regularly updates his Facebook page with sympathetic messages for the victims of our latest national tragedy. WHICH COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED HAD THE NSA BEEN GIVEN MORE POWER.
Satanism Unmasked: Dungeons & Dragons
12/28/13, 08:32

HOLD ON.

4:31. Excuse me, Beard Guy, but that's munchkin shit you're talking about. I don't care how impractical or inefficient it is, *I* stick by my moral guidelines. Like that time I kidnapped the Archduke's virgin daughter... my party wanted to ransom her off for a galleass ladened with Imperial platinum, but I was a Chaotic Evil Orc doom-guard, so I said to hell with the loot, tortured her to death, and devoured her still-warm flesh within the smoldering ruins of her father's holy chapel. SOME OF US ROLE PLAY, YA KNOW.

Also, 5:40. Yes they do. Hormone addled kids are naturally bloodthirsty, and correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't this the crux of most conservative Christian arguments about the necessity of God? Man is cruel sinful by nature, and he needs moral instruction from a nanny-Church in order to live a life free of murder and sodomy?
Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! - 'Mr. Cool'
12/28/13, 05:02

Only hipsters don't want to be cool.
Die Hard NES world record attempt.
12/28/13, 04:55

I agree. He's not quite Arino, but he's much, much better than your average self-important Let's Play douche. You know, the sort who use the term "hardcore gamer" with an air of pride, and who brag about their mad skills, despite the fact that they're just cheap TAS wankers who cherry pick their best performances to show off.

The fact that he failed makes him relatable, and the gracious way he accepted defeat makes you want to come back and root for him the next time around.
MAJ Daniel Toven & Johnathan Taylor exit Ft Bragg's Main Post Chapel after their wedding was blessed
12/27/13, 14:01

Now that I'm saying it, it sounds kind of absurd, but I was always under the impression that Leona was into the white power scene. I mean, she seems like a daddy's girl, and her dad is obviously a just-barely-closeted Neo-Nazi. Plus she hangs out with Whip, and Whip is total Nazi chic, right?

Ralf and Clark don't strike me as racists, though, and I think they could probably show Leona the error of her ways during A Very Special Mission to alien-occupied Nigeria.
Hamas TV's Giant Bee Nahoul Explains the Concept of Negotiations
12/27/13, 11:57

I'm pretty sure this clip is from an old episode. AFAIK, the show ended it's run not long after Nassur the Bear took over; the Jews did not get a chance to kill him, and he is now a sociology professor at Wesleyan University.
MAJ Daniel Toven & Johnathan Taylor exit Ft Bragg's Main Post Chapel after their wedding was blessed
12/27/13, 07:55

Really? I always thought Leona was a white supremacist.
MAJ Daniel Toven & Johnathan Taylor exit Ft Bragg's Main Post Chapel after their wedding was blessed
12/27/13, 06:34

For reference, here's a quick list of the most common ships I can think of at the moment. Some are more bizarre than others:

Lui/Kitana (canon), Sonya/Cage (canon), Mileena/Baraka (canon), Scorpion/Mileena, Subzero/Kitana, Jade/Reptile, Frost/Subzero, Scorpion/Subzero, Sonya/Jax, Kano/Sonya, Kano/Jax, Nightwolf/Stryker, Kano/Kabal, Kabal/Mavado, Kira/Kobra, Jade/Kitana, Kitana/Mileena, Goro/Cage, Sheeva/Cage, Shang/Quan, Shang/Sonya, Khan/Sonya, Reptile/Khameleon, Taven/Daegon, Lui/Lao, Khan/Raiden, Sektor/Cyrax, Rain/Kitana, and a whole bunch of OC ships that, while I find them annoying, are so ubiquitous at this point that they warrant mention, such as Donna/HsuHao and Madison/Raiden.
Hamas TV's Giant Bee Nahoul Explains the Concept of Negotiations
12/27/13, 06:03

The little girl, Saraa, is the focused, passionate voice of the resistance. She acts as the show's teacher-figure (perhaps because Palestinians must grow up fast, and all the adults are busy being dead already?) Nahoul and his other animal relatives (Farfour, Nassur, and whatever the fuck the rabbit's name was) are more like little kids. They're the "relatable" characters whom the children watching can project themselves into - they are young, passionate, sometimes a little confused, but eager to do the right thing and make Miss Saraa proud. The basic process is: the giant mascot says bonehead things, then Saraa calmly and patiently directs him back to the proper revolutionary party line. The mascot learns new lessons each week, until eventually he's killed by the Jews and replaced with the next eager martyr-in-training.
MAJ Daniel Toven & Johnathan Taylor exit Ft Bragg's Main Post Chapel after their wedding was blessed
12/27/13, 05:34

Well, sometimes he's shipped with Kano. The basic rule of thumb is: any ship you can think of, someone somewhere likes it.

Jax is most often shipped with Sonya. I don't really like this ship myself, since it's too obvious, and I feel it belittles and demeans Sonya and Jax's friendship. Sax is a really touching example of a true platonic relationship; they are professional, they are friends, but they don't have to fuck each other because it's not ALWAYS about fucking, people. IMO, Sonya is best paired with KITANA. I don't care what anyone else says, Kitonya is best ship and the rest of them can go to Hell. I am also willing to accept Sonya and Johnny ships, since this was one of those really good movie canon ideas that got carried over into game canon (like Kano being an Australian). Either Jax or Sonya shipped with Kano, while popular, strikes me as a bit creepy, since there's always this happy rape subtext going on. I guess if we're going to go for a good guy/ bad guy ship, I'd pair Sonya with Kano, and Jax with Jarek - "This is brutality!" "This is not a brutality, this is an ANALITY!" Bakawakawaka Kano may also be shipped with Kira, but I don't like that one much either, because it has seriously implied workplace misconduct/ sexual harassment undertones - Kano is clearly using his position and authority within the Black Dragon organization to take advantage of naive young intern, Kira. Somebody call Human Resources! Plus Kano was technically absent from the Black Dragon for much of Kira's involvement in the group, so that ship has a more difficult time explaining itself than I think most casual fanfiction writers are aware. Oh, and as for Goro? Goro is almost always shipped with Johnny Cage (Johnny is the bottom). In fact, all of the Shokans are shipped with Johnny - Kintaro is rare, since not many people are into Kintaro, but Sheeva and dickgirl Sheeva (she's a favorite character for the MK futanari sub-community) are routinely put into femdom relationships with poor Mr Cage.

Anyway, the only *really* popular yaoi slash ship in the MK fandom, to the point where it's established high fanon, is Nightwolf/Stryker. People have been speculating that Nightwolf and Stryker are gay married together since MK3. At first it was just a joke about how gay and lame they are, but post-Brokeback, I think it's metamorphosed into something a lot more sincere and beautiful.

(they are still gay and lame, however)
Merry Christmas from Edward Snowden
12/26/13, 21:01

WELL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE REST OF THESE TRAITORS, MISTER NSA-SUH, BUT OL' HOMIE HERE, HE'S UH TRUE PATRIOT AND HE SUPPORTS Y'ALL.

Flag Football Cowboy John Wayne USA FDR Crying Eagle Jesus Preteen Model Meth Recipe Allah - oh shit, wait, forgot those last few things.
Porn Stars Without Makeup
12/26/13, 20:50

I don't really understand that t-shirt. What does he mean by it? That when he's in public, he's cold, arrogant, and slightly off-putting? And when he has sex, he likes to murder his partners and bathe in their fresh warm blood?

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