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EvilHomer

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Comments
The launch of New Coke
01/20/15, 02:34

Basically, that one goes: New Coke was a disingenuous marketing ploy, meant not to actually replace Coke, but to drum up controversy and therefor buzz for the aging brand. Once they "brought back" Coke Classic, it would be seen as this huge victory for consumers, and relieved Americans would buy it in droves. This is essentially what happened - New Coke bombed, but Coke Classic made a killing and saved it's market share.

Another fun conspiracy theory is that Coke Classic isn't actually Coke Classic; it's a new formula with a false label. New Coke was brought in to confuse soda drinkers and, once our tastebuds were so used to the "new" taste that we'd forgotten precisely how the original Coke tasted, a new formula Coke "Classic" would be introduced and nobody would notice the difference. This one's actually got a kernel of truth to it, because apparently the re-introduction was when Coke made the switch-off from cane sugar to corn syrup sweetener. As any soda hipsters who've been drinking craft sodas and/or the sugar-sweetened nostalgia versions of popular brands that've been cropping up in recent years can tell you, there is a noticeable difference in taste.
The launch of New Coke
01/20/15, 02:17

COKE'S ARMS ARE NOT BLUE!!!!! COCA-COLA, CHANGE THEM BACK!!!!!
Vampire Bat
01/20/15, 02:02

I'd love to see a Flutterbat PMV of this. Make it happen, people!
Skallagrim's opinion on the Star Wars lightsaber crossguard
01/20/15, 01:56

Well yes, that's something else too. The Sith are capable of doing so much more than just waving their lightsabers around; what would armor matter to a fistfull of force lightning? Jedi, being stupid, are of course incapable of thinking outside the box like that, but the Sith's innovative approach to problem solving would have rendered their enemy's armor far less effective. Perhaps this is why Dark Side practitioners are more prone to being depicted with armor, and Jedi less so - because the Jedi knew they'd have no chance against the superior tactical prowess of their Sith opponents anyway.
Itchy and Scratchy: Porch Pals
01/20/15, 01:43

Marge's Kickstarter raised $158,000 for this.
Black Market Booty: Trans Woman Boosts Butt With 100+ Illegal Injections
01/19/15, 18:02

I was MORTIFIED when I learned Mana from Malice Mizer was a trap. :(
Black Market Booty: Trans Woman Boosts Butt With 100+ Illegal Injections
01/19/15, 17:58

Assuming you're being serious, Gmork, let me ask you this: what kind of man thinks long and hard about how he'd play the "transexual guessing game"? Like, oh no, all these tempting traps everywhere, what happens if I encounter one, WILL I KNOW OR WON'T I?

What does this behavior say about you as a person?

I can't wait for your own personal Tomgirl Saga, by the way.
Black Market Booty: Trans Woman Boosts Butt With 100+ Illegal Injections
01/19/15, 17:32

So which offends you more: that "he" identifies as a "she", or that she's black?
Skallagrim's opinion on the Star Wars lightsaber crossguard
01/19/15, 15:14

I mentioned that in a previous video. Hand slippage is definitely a problem with guardless swords, particularly during thrusts, but I do not believe it would be much of a concern to a lightsaber wielder. The blades are practically massless, and I doubt there would be much, if any, deceleration when you thrust one into a target. It is also possible that the notches and seemingly pointless embellishments on a traditional lightsaber handle could provide the friction and leverage needed to stop one's hand from slipping up the blade; Scholagladiatoria recently did a video on Gurkha kukris, a weapon which is famously sans guard, wherein he argued that the raised bands found on antique kukri handles served this very purpose.
Skallagrim's opinion on the Star Wars lightsaber crossguard
01/19/15, 12:17

Finally, Jedi are notoriously stupid and resistant to change. The Jedi Order is highly orthodox and conformist in nature, establishing strict, caste-based, almost medieval social orders that remain unchanged for tens of thousands of years. Simple innovations like, oh, say, *a frakking crossguard for your sword* escaped them for all this time. Why would they ever do something so radical and inventive as to develop armor for themselves?
Skallagrim's opinion on the Star Wars lightsaber crossguard
01/19/15, 12:12

Another thing worth pointing out is that few Jedis, at least since the days of the Old Republic, have ever had to fight a serious, life-or-death battle against another lightsaber-armed opponent. Even during the Great Purge, Jedis were hunted mostly by Clone Troopers and robots. The extra protection afforded by Mandalorian armor simply wasn't necessary.
Skallagrim's opinion on the Star Wars lightsaber crossguard
01/19/15, 12:05

That would be Mandalorian armor. Unfortunately, Mandalorian iron is both rare and expensive, and finding artisans capable of crafting it into proper suits of armor is rarer still, particularly in the years following the rise of the weak, decadent, and self-serving New Mandalorians.

Remember: even under the best of conditions, Mandalorians love to hate the Jedi Order. Getting a nice suit of beskar steel, while not impossible, is highly improbable; roughly analogous to a European knight coming into possession of a fine Japanese katana.
Black Market Booty: Trans Woman Boosts Butt With 100+ Illegal Injections
01/19/15, 11:42

Gender, but not sex. I believe that is why Gmork is upset about trans-individuals: in his eyes, their socially constructed gender clearly does not match their biologically defined sex. He finds the presentation dissonant and unnerving.

His statement is a little clunky, but becomes clearer if you understand that when he says "someone is actually", by the word "actually" he refers not to gender but to the individual's sex. (i.e. the subject may be gendered female, but "is actually" male)
Skallagrim's opinion on the Star Wars lightsaber crossguard
01/19/15, 10:44

But slashing off the crossguard would require the film have a level of self-awareness that's far beyond what Star Wars can be expected to have.
Black Market Booty: Trans Woman Boosts Butt With 100+ Illegal Injections
01/19/15, 10:41

Pre-op, or post-op? That one-off galpal of ChrisChan's, Bailey Jay, was pretty convincing.
Grown men rock out on children's guitar and drum set
01/19/15, 10:00

That's Slayer, not BABYMETAL.
Someone gets a very surprising Xbox Live message
01/19/15, 08:13

Awww, I was really rooting for him. Poor guy. :(
Why You're Circumscised
01/19/15, 08:07

Yes, yes, it is all going according to plan. Muahahaha!

*strokes fedora with paw*
Why You're Circumscised
01/19/15, 06:39

You can't blame MGM on any immigrant cultures. The American obsession with MGM is homegrown; it's all on you.
Skallagrim's opinion on the Star Wars lightsaber crossguard
01/19/15, 04:48

See?! See?! This is precisely what I was saying when that trailer first came out. He even references the same Wookieepedia article that I used, "Category: Lightsaber-resistant materials"!

People think I'm crazy, but I'm not.

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