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EvilHomer

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Comments
Sleater Kinney Full Concert
03/08/15, 19:57

I thought you hated Sleater Kinney, IZ?

I voted this up because I was hoping to see you take the piss out of it, but now I discover you were the one who submitted it!
Ask A Porn Star: Porn Stars Describe Their Weirdest Scene
03/08/15, 15:46

My weirdest was probably Skin Diamond's Spongebob pardoy, where she was cosplaying as that squirrel lady in a spacesuit, and she's trying to give Spongebob a blowjob, only it's not working, because her visor is down and the spacehelmet is getting in the way.
The Katana Master... IN BED
03/08/15, 11:38

I'm sorry about your friend.
Gamergaters Engage In Ritualistic Combat Over Stolen XBoxOne
03/08/15, 11:37

FALSE FLAG!

For real this time.
Ask A Porn Star: Porn Stars Describe Their Weirdest Scene
03/08/15, 11:36

I'm a little surprised that Anikka Albrite didn't mention any of her Japanese Power Rangers scenes, but the one she went with sounds fine, too.

What is your weirdest, poeTV? That you've seen, assuming you haven't any acted in any. And discounting poe-fetish stuff like furries and quicksand and nine-dicked girffoxes; just, you know, mainstream porn, the type of stuff that these actresses might appear in.
The Katana Master... IN BED
03/08/15, 10:23

No, I don't see any little girls' feet.
The Katana Master... IN BED
03/08/15, 10:22

Blood flicking is very important. It needs to be done decisively, with power and purpose.
Stone Age Smackdown Trailer
03/08/15, 04:58

CM Punk didn't quit on the WWE. The WWE quit on him. He had the patience of a saint and the Loyalty of a pegasus to have put up with their bullshit as long as he did.
How to Be a Christian Clown
03/08/15, 03:48

My third grade teacher was really hot. My sixth grade teacher, not so much.

I don't know if I would nail my third grade teacher, though. She was too sweet and motherly, like Cherilee - she invited me to her wedding that summer, and everbody in school agreed that she was the bestest teacher ever. Good for cuddles perhaps, and nice long naps on a summer afternoon, but maybe not fucking. I think I'd nail my tenth grade English teacher (the one my friend from juvie was stalking), the drama club TA from eleventh grade, and of course my seventh grade teacher. Oh yeah, seventh grade teacher! She looked like a slight chubby Brooke Richards and once punched a female student in the mouth for calling Ms Seventh Grade a cuntface. We hated each other so much; the tension would be unbelievable!
Stone Age Smackdown Trailer
03/08/15, 03:16

So CM Punk Rock is still in it? Fuck that. They'd better be paying him tons of royalties to compensate this insult, because as an MMA fighter, CM Punk has a reputation to maintain; every badass point is cultural capital for The Octagon! If Punk was still a wrestler, yeah sure, take one for the team, but he's his own boss now and doesn't have to dance like a monkey for Vince anymore.

Also, what's up with this? Mr. McMagma, Daniel Bryrock, John Cenastone... The Undertaker? The fuck, Taker? Why is he the only talent not using a Flintstonified name? I really hope it's not him being prissy.
A Response to Lars Andersen: a New Level of Archery
03/07/15, 19:27

They don't look particularly buff (bet you ten bucks your average Coastie could take 'em), and at any rate, we know from bone studies that ancient people tended to possess LESS physical strength than us moderns, on account of their poor nutrition and propensity for childhood disease. It's also worth pointing out that Parthian archers were exceptionally well regarded; even if it were true that Parthians were able to fire bows as quickly as Lars (and I see no reason to think this to be the case) then that still leaves us with every other archer on the planet unaccounted for. It is highly doubtful that even the best archers could fire a proper warbow with the sort of speed Lars is claiming; the idea that such shooting was at any time *commonplace* and *universal*? Beyond absurd!

There are plenty of people today who have back and arm muscles which are more than capable of drawing massive bows. Give John Cena or Brock Lesnar a Parthian composite bow and tell them to fire it as quickly and accurately as Lars does, at a range commensurate with Parthian tactics. If even they can't do it, then the entire theory is sunk.
A Response to Lars Andersen: a New Level of Archery
03/07/15, 18:23

He claims that his techniques were historical techniques, used by military archers in the past; *he* may not be a military archer, but if his style of shooting is insufficient for military purposes (any sort of military purposes, because as Ms Maltese repeatedly points out, one of the biggest problems with Lars' theory is the vagueness of its place in history), then his claims would quickly unravel.

The problem of draw weight isn't just one of training - and by all accounts, Lars is a HIGHLY trained archer, probably better trained than the majority of ancient archers, even! The problem of draw weight is one of physiology; you simply cannot fire a full-pound warbow at the same speed as a plinky little speed shooter's bow. Lars admitted this in his videos; his response was to poo-poo the concerns over draw weight, and suggest that low poundage bows could be fired Andersen-style, and still prove effective on the battle-field.

He has not demonstrated this. All he has demonstrated is that arrows can pierce modern butted chainmail, and that is unsurprising, because butted chainmail is extremely weak and fragile... which is why it was NOT used in warfare, in Europe or the Near East! For a proper test, Lars would have to shoot his arrows at riveted chainmail laid over a gambeson laid over a flesh-analogue, and be able to penetrate more than two or three inches of the flesh.
Don Young (R) Alaska: Wolves would solve the homelessness problem.
03/07/15, 16:42

Why are you going to Abu Dhabi? And also, have fun!
NASA Finds Evidence of a Vast Ancient Ocean on Mars
03/07/15, 16:25

It depends on the atmosphere you're going for! With Mars, I'd suggest some soft red mood lighting, scented candles, and late 70s space rock.
Nick Bravo: Tim and G4T scope out potential real estate investment scams
03/07/15, 16:19

I think he's racist enough to get in good with the Aryan Brotherhood, but I doubt they'd put up with his shit for long.

In my experience, prisons have a habit of turning people into petulant, manipulative children; Nick's already there, so I think the damage will be somewhat muted.
A Response to Lars Andersen: a New Level of Archery
03/07/15, 15:54

Were they feats attributed to archers of old, though? This is a question raised repeatedly by Ms Maltese, using specific examples drawn directly from Lars' own videos (points 1 and 12, for example), and she debunks them all. Just what situations his techniques are conducive towards is left more or less unsaid by Lars, and whether they'd be conducive to ANY military situations is very much a matter of debate, addressed not only by Ms Maltese, but also other HEMA researchers, Matt Easton and, IIRC, Lindybeige amongst them. (the most common complaint being, of course, the draw weight.) So there's really two overarching problems here: are his claims historically accurate, and from a purely physical standpoint, is he onto something with these techniques? (a third problem, are Lars' techniques really as novel and revolutionary as he claims, ties these two matters together)

Lars is an awesome archer, but I'm afraid that both questions raise a host of problems for him.


note - one thing that Ms Maltese and others have neglected to address is the scene in Lars' video in which he is shown puncturing a suit of chainmail with his arrows. This is a very important scene, and much is riding on it so far as the matter of conducivity is concerned! Now, the question *I* would ask is - what sort of chainmail is Lars shooting at? Is it riveted, welded, or butted? I strongly suspect that he is firing at butted chainmail, as this is the cheapest and by far most common type of mail available today, and surprisingly few people - even many historians - are savvy enough to know the difference. Using re-enactment grade butted chainmail is actually a fairly common error in experimental archeology weapons-testing, and it would more than explain how Lars was able to "pierce" "armor" with a half-drawn, child's-strength, speed shooting bow.
A Response to Lars Andersen: a New Level of Archery
03/07/15, 14:44

Well, her central complaint is about the *historicity* of Mr Andersen's techniques, not about his level of skill (indeed, she gives him props a number of times over the course of the video). As such, it does not matter which one of them is the better archer; her argument is just as valid whether she's the greatest archer in the world, or a complete beginner who's never shot a bow before.

Think about it this way: if the debate was over, say, who is the sexier Simpsons-animating fire dancer, then clearly Ms Maltese would win by a significant margin. However, if Ms Maltese made a series of historically spurious claims about fire dancing or The Simpsons ("fire dancing was invented by Yugoslavian beatniks in 1987", "Season 19 was the best season of The Simpsons), then Mr Andersen could nevertheless come out on top.
A Response to Lars Andersen: a New Level of Archery
03/07/15, 12:38

I cannot find any videos of her archery. However, here is an older video, in which she does kung-fu fire twirling whilst dressed as a belly dancer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcP0ckDTdJg

❤️
Nick Bravo: Tim and G4T scope out potential real estate investment scams
03/07/15, 10:55

Yeah, there's been a lot of speculation about Nick turning rat in exchange for a reduced sentence. I hope he does. For one thing, Nick deserves to be punished, and some time in prison would be great, but thirty years? Come on. One year, two years, five years tops. He's too stupid and incompetent to be treated like a hardened criminal; the poor oaf blew all his fraud money only a few couple weeks later.

Second, I really really really want to see his reaction video when he finally gets out!
Nick Bravo: Tim and G4T scope out potential real estate investment scams
03/07/15, 10:46

As the anarchist Alfred Nock once said, "the primary intention of government is not to abolish crime, but merely to monopolize it". The law may be unequal, and Mr Wildcat, you may be right in saying that there are criminals, worse than Nick Bravo, who will never be brought to justice (the men and women behind the prison industrial complex, for example). But the fall of Nick and friends is a small victory, and a small victory is a victory still!

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