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EvilHomer

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Comments
Veterinarian is Fired After Killing 'Feral' Cat with Bow & Arrow
04/19/15, 08:11

Why?

Haven't you ever taken a picture of a fish you caught? Of a deer you've hunted? If this were a feral raccoon or a feral lion or even a feral wharf rat - those disgusting little fuckers - nobody would care. Taking pictures of kills is what people do when they hunt animals. It's normal.

She killed someone's pet by mistake, that's a huge fuckup. We can all agree on that. This women is a fuckup, doubly so because she's a veterinarian and vets aren't supposed to murder pets, let alone make the evidence go viral on her own social media feed. But the thing that you're upset about, is she's taking a picture of a hunting trophy?! Come on. Come ooooooon.

It's a cat. It's dead. She took a picture, and now all of a sudden she's a Hitler?
Cassie Cage 'Selfie' Fatality
04/19/15, 07:36

Or, crushed into one. By a pair of blood-hungry Shokans.
Cassie Cage 'Selfie' Fatality
04/19/15, 07:31

OK, Cena, I'll have to split this into multiple posts. I will deal with your claims one at a time. The section I will deal with first is this:

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"The Cages are the first family of awesome"
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This statement is highly problematic for the following reasons: The Cages are not the oldest family in the Mortal Kombat series, in fact, they are only recently-landed upstarts, a nouveau famille that has only appeared in one game out of the twenty created so far. The Cages are hardly even a family, either, as Johnny and Sonya were already divorced by the start of their first game together, and Johnny, Sonya, and Cassie now spend all their time decapitating each other. Talk about dysfunctional! And even if they were a "real" family, instead of a loose collection of career-minded sociopaths, there's A LOT of competition for the title of First Family. Just in MKX alone, the series introduced no fewer than FOUR new families! Even the best of families would face some tough kompetition in the MOrtal Kombat world.

So at this point you may be asking, EH, if the Cages are NOT the First Family of Awesome in Mortal Kombat, then who IS? Well, I'm glad you asked, but that's a tough question, and there is no easy answer. Let's look at some of the more prominent families below.

Mortal Kombat's oldest family, the one that appeared first in the original game and has had the longest pedigree throughout the series' lifespan, is Scorpion's family - the Hasashi's. His wife and child were already dead by the start of the first game, but their murder provided the first truly compelling story in the Mortal Kombat universe, as well as being the basis for the legendary rivalry between MK's two most iconic gladiators: the fire ninja Scorpion, and the ice ninja Sub-Zero. If we consider ALL members of the Shirai Ryu to be part of Scorpion's "family" (it is unclear whether the original Shirai Ryu was blood-related, adoptive, or composed of multiple lineages of ninja), then Scorpion's family grows even more important, as then it would include both Takeda and, by extension, Kenshi. (more on them in a few minutes)

Next there's the Sub-Zero family. This one is arguably even more important than the Hasashi's, as instead of just one playable character, there are two (three if you include all iterations) - Bi-Han, Bi-Han "Noob", and Kuai Liang (Sub-Zero from MK2 onwards). Frost, as a sort of adoptive daughter to Kuai Liang, might also be included here! Now besides being responsible for one-half of the aforementioned Scorpion-SubZero rivalry, the actions of the Sub-Zero family have been central to almost every major core game plotline in the series; most prominently, Bi-Han's theft of the Amulet of Shinnok, which as we all know, set into motion the events of MK4 onwards, and had a profound effect not only on the course of three original tournaments, but on the entire secret war between the Elder Gods. As with Scorpion's family, we could even extend the Sub-Zero family to encapsulate his entire ninja clan. With *the Lin Kuei* considered as a single family unit, things start to get absurd; at this point, you have not only Bi-Han, Noob, Sub-Zero, and Frost, but also Sektor, Cyrax, Smoke, Sareena, Shujinko (briefly), and literally dozens of others. With the Lin Kuei kicking everyone's ass in the MKX Online Faction Wars (seriously, they've got twice as many points as the second place faction, they're totally OP and need to be nerfed), I think a pretty solid case could be made for them being the First Family of Mortal Kombat.

Then there are the Kungs. The Kung family is the oldest and most illustrious family of martial artists in Earthrealm history; its members include The Great Kung Lao (alluded to in the first game, the first mortal to ever defeat Goro), Kung Lao the Younger (second most powerful hero of the White Lotus monks), Kung Jin, and even a little guy named LIU KANG. You know, the official Champion of the first two tournaments, as well as the "winner" of the third? While perhaps not as beloved by casual fans as the Hasashi/Shirai Ryu or the Subbie/Lin Kuei, the Kung family is without a doubt the most canonically successful family in the Mortal Kombat universe. They are the "heroes" of the franchise, MK's Bruce-Lee-inspired "Gracie family" who saved Earth on many occasions. You might think the Cages are more awesome than the Kungs, but there is no way they are more important.

MK has a number of smaller families, too, each one capable of holding their own against the Cages. Reptile, for example, was part of the last remaining brood of Zaterrans. He and Khameleon (possibly also Chameleon, although his status was never officially konfirmed via in-game canon) are a small but plucky part of the MK world, and are socially quite progressive, being the resident poster-children for endangered species and the ecological conservation movement.

Kenshi's family, alluded to but never seen in previous games, is now quite active in Mortal Kombat X. With Kenshi's son, Takeda, being trained as the next generation of Shirai Ryu by his adoptive god-father, the legendary Scorpion himself, the Takahashi's are certainly building a name for themselves in the world of MartialArts-Entertainment.

The Briggs, Jax and Jacqui, play straight-men to the Cage's dysfunctional juggalo circus, but they are nonetheless quite interesting in their own rights! Jacqui is pretty hardcore Army, which is, of course, AWESOME, and she wears ACU pants with her alt costume, which is, of course, also AWESOME. True, Cassie is Army too, following in her mother's bootsteps, but Cassie takes after her dad. She's a jokester and a fuckup. Jacqui takes after Jax; they're both business, both tough and no bullshit.

Even Kano's got a family now, too! While his son has yet to début in-game, he appears briefly in Kano's MKX ending.

And then there's the House of Argus. The House of Argus, like the Kungs and the Sub-Zeros, played a very important role in Mortal Kombat's central plot. I don't think anyone would go so far as to say that the House of Argus is the FIRST Family of Mortal Kombat, since so much of their story proved to be unpopular with the fan kommunity, and they didn't really start to factor in to things until right at the very end of the Original Timeline (a dark time for the fandom in which interest in the Mortal Kombat franchise hit an all-time low). But Argus, Delia, Taven, Daegon, and even Rain (although Rain was a bastard and estranged from his half-brothers) were still a Family, and they brought about Armageddon, the End of the World. That's nothing to scoff at.

******

So all of these families are interesting. All of them bring something to the table. But is it enough? Do any of these families truly deserve the title of First Family of Awesome? Well, I've been saving the best for last:

The House of Edenia; and by extension, The House of Outworld. I mean, just look at how many kharacters are in this family! With the original House of Edenia, you had King Jerrod, Queen Sindel, and Princess Kitana. After Outworld's triumph and saho Khan's forceable rape/abduction/brainwashing, you had Shao Khan, Sindel, Kitana, and Mileena. Shao Khan was, of course, the head villain of Mortal Kombat; only Shinnok, Dark God of the Netherrealm, could ever match the wickedness and ambition of Shao Khan, yet not even that blackhearted Netherrealm spider could hope to match the power of the mighty Khan. Sindel is MK's reigning Royal Rumble champion, having killed pretty much everyone back in Mortal Kombat 9 in a single (obviously worked) free-for-all squash match. Mileena, one-time Empress of Outworld, was romantically linked to Baraka, chief of the Tarkatan Hordes, and franken-daughter to everyone's favorite bad-guy, Shang Tsung, further expanding the family line in not one but two directions. Kitana, the rightful ruler of Edenia and later the supreme commander of all resistance against Shao Khan and the forces of evil, was romantically linked to Liu Kang, whom as we've discussed, is World Champion of the Mortal Kombat Tournament. KILLtana is also, hoofs down, the best/ coolest/ most Rainbow Dashiest fighter to appear in any Mortal Kombat game - I am a bit biased here, being a series-long Kitana-main, but it's true. Oh yes, it's true.

So, taken altogether, the unified House of Outworld looks like this: Shao Khan, Sindel, King Jerrod, Princess Kitana, Lui Kang, Mileena, Baraka, and of course, their household retainers: Jade, Rain, Tanya, Reptile, Kotal, Kintaro, Motaro, fucking Shang Tsung, and fucking GORO.



There's no contest. NO. CONTEST. AT ALL. Don't get me wrong, I love the Cages; Sonya and JC are both in my series-wide Top Fives and Cassie is Number One on my list of rookie carders/ new talent. I'd love to see her get a title shot. But the Royal Family, they're like the McMahons and the Harts all wrapped into one.
Cassie Cage 'Selfie' Fatality
04/19/15, 05:01

I'm glad they brought back references to NINJA MIME. There's also a special NINJA MIME costume that you can unlock in the game.
Veterinarian is Fired After Killing 'Feral' Cat with Bow & Arrow
04/19/15, 04:29

Stop being so melodramatic, John. It's just a cat.
Medieval MMA
04/18/15, 11:55

"Durrrr, I was fighting before MMA was a thing". Convenient excuse, don't you think?

The cool thing about the Gracies is that they're not just judo. They're rooted in hardcore jujitsu, sure, but they were pioneering figures in the MMA world, incorporating any techniques that worked, and expanding the stale and outdated world of judo into the multidisciplinary art of violence that it is today.

Again, Helio never submitted to Kimura. Helio never gave up. But Kimura, Kimura was a sore loser and a quitter. He's lucky he was so good, otherwise he would have folded decades earlier.
Medieval MMA
04/18/15, 07:39

Ah, but again, did he ever win any *MMA* tournaments? No. People win tournaments all the time. I once won a public speaking tournament back in highschool. Does that make me as badass as a Gracie? Of course not. And sure, he broke Helio Gracie's arm. He broke Helio Gracie's arm, _and Helio Gracie did not tap out._

Even when a Gracie is defeated, he does not submit.

Kimura, on the other hand, he almost bitched out of judo because he lost a few matches in the 1930s. "Wahh waah waah", he said. "I lost four matches in a row." Tell me: who's got more heart? Kimura, or Helio?
Cassie Cage 'Selfie' Fatality
04/18/15, 05:48

(it's a complicated issue with many factors to consider)
Cassie Cage 'Selfie' Fatality
04/18/15, 05:47

Ugh, God, no. You're lucky I've got to leave in five minutes elsewise you'd be hit with a rebuttal so hard your buddy Kimura Masahiko would feel it.
Medieval MMA
04/18/15, 04:55

Excuse me, what makes you think Sakuraba is shitty? Stop being mean to him. Sakuraba isn't an Apple; he's a Rainbow Dash, too. He's got the Heart of a Pegasus.

And how many MMA tournaments did Kimura win...? Yeah, NONE, that's what I thought.
Cassie Cage 'Selfie' Fatality
04/18/15, 04:00

Ever since Mortal Kombat 3 (inclusive), it's been an MK tradition to feature a bunch of new characters that were terrible and whom nobody liked.

Some of the rookies were boring: Hsu Hsao, Hotaru, Taven.
Some of the rookies were pointless: Jarek was just Kano, Moloch was just Goro, both Tanya and Li Mei were just Kitana.
And some of the rookies were so awful that they became bywords for crap video game characters: Stryker, Nightwolf, and of course Shujinko.

Very, very few rookies stood the test of time: Quan Chi, Blind Kenshi, and that's... that's sort of it. You had a number of lower-tier, post-klassical-period characters who had small yet dedicated fanbases, like Frost, Kira, and Rain, but these 'Kult Favorites' rarely wound up in any games, and at times it seemed like the only people who still remembered them were the girl-gamer MK 'shippers playing around with XNALara. Ed Boon sure didn't. Your odds of being a newbie in the Mortal Kombat Tournament and actually being worth a damn were about 20-1!


So you could imagine how PISSED I was to see that most of the new characters are cool, likeable, and fun. Jacqui, Cassie, Takeda, Kim Jong, all great additions to the roster. Hell, they fit with established canon too, so like Cassie? She's not just some random girl they pulled off the street, she's the daughter of Johnny Cage and Sonya Blade, two of the most beloved murder-ninjas ever to grace our arcade screens. And I won't stand for it. I will not have the bad name of Mortal Kombat BESMIRCHED with funny, nut-punching, gun-wielding badasses like Cassie Cage.

Fuck this video, and fuck Cassie Cage. One star.
Handjob Karaoke (NSFW -Technically no Weenis)
04/18/15, 01:59

"Hentai theatre"?
Medieval MMA
04/17/15, 21:16

Hey, Cena. How many international Judo and MMA championships have you won? More than the Gracies? Less than the Gracies?

You're just mad cuz the Gracies are the First Family of Badass. They're basically like fifty Rainbow Dashes, all at the same Rainbow family reunion.
Handjob Karaoke (NSFW -Technically no Weenis)
04/17/15, 20:13

I know! If I missed a chance to get a handie from a girl with a Mileena mouthspike mask, I'd be so devastated, I don't think I'd ever recover.

All stars are for mouthspike mask girl.
How to Block Unwanted You Tube Channels
04/17/15, 07:02

HOWEVER, I would like to point out that, in your case, I can see why you'd wish to block Sailor Moon videos. They are, in a real and quite literal sense, "triggering"; that is to say, they cause you a great deal of psychological stress and significantly impact your quality of life, in a real and measurable way.

Avoidance is not a good thing, but in the short-term, particularly when you don't have a support network in place that can help you process, it can sometimes be helpful.

Have you ever considered CBT or Exposure Therapy for Sailor Moon?
How to Block Unwanted You Tube Channels
04/17/15, 06:57

See, now, with you Cena, I suspect that your desire to block Sailor Moon is, in fact, simply an extension of your previous patterns of behavior re: My Little Pony. You want to block Sailor Moon, not because you hate Sailor Moon, but because you secretly love Sailor Moon, and you are ashamed of this love; every time you see her fashionable hair silhouetted against the moonlight, or her pretty dresses flapping soft in the spring breeze, it gnaws away at your own deep-seated feelings of guilt and remorse.

It's OK. It's not "gay" to like Sailor Moon. Plenty of macho dudes are into it.
How to Block Unwanted You Tube Channels
04/17/15, 06:49

You keep saying "editing" as if that word lets you off the hook. You can "edit" your entire online existence down to a single cat gif and your all-time favorite Boxxy video if that's really what you want; and then you'd be a closed-minded, hugboxing, ignorant old man, sitting alone in an echo chamber. It's your choice.

And I don't know why you even bother bringing this up (not everything needs to be a debate about "Constitutional law"; in fact, very few things do), but people do indeed have a constitutional right to troll. You don't have a constitutional *DUTY* to listen to arguments that you disagree with, no, but that is where your own personal integrity and intellectual fortitude come into play. Again, it's your choice - I'm merely suggesting that you should consider the alternative lifestyle proposed by Lindybeige in that video I linked above.
How to Block Unwanted You Tube Channels
04/17/15, 06:34

It's not institutional censorship, no, of course not, nobody said it was. It's individual censorship - a conscious attempt to blot out the things you don't want to hear; to never deal with people whose views and opinions challenge your own. It's closed-minded, and just because you're not violating Thunderhoof's right to express himself, that doesn't let you off the hook, morally or intellectually speaking.


Besides, Google tends to offer recommendations based on *what you are interested in.* Not always, but that's the tendency. Now there is a big difference between things that are _irrelevant_ to your interests (such as a Geico ads, or all those Jimmy Kimmel clips Youtube wants me to watch, merely because Kimmel pays Google to promote his channel), and something that IS relevant to your interests, albeit in a negative fashion.

John loves Mr Thunderfoot. He spends a lot of time thinking about and talking about and even engaging with Mr Thunderfoot. THAT, I submit to you, is why Google gives John Thunderhoof reco's all the time - because Google has John's internet history laid out before its singel all-seeing eye, and Google knows John is very, very interested in what Thunderfoot has to say, and the topical debates in which Mr Thunderfoot is a major player. If you wish to be actively involved in whatever cultural war Mr Thunderfoot is currently engaged in (he's the guy who argues in favor of Global Warming, right? Or am I thinking of someone else?), then be involved!!! Don't be a bigot, and ***don't shrink your information bubble.***


Not clicking on a video you REALLY don't wish to watch is a reasonable answer. Completely locking channels that have absolutely no bearing on your interests (such as a basketball channel, a beauty vlog, or tips for single moms working at home), that sometimes makes sense too. But what John is doing - and you're enabling his behavior, by the way - is textbook closed-mindedness.
How to Block Unwanted You Tube Channels
04/17/15, 05:35

Cena, for shame. I would expect this sort of behavior from John, but not you.
How to Block Unwanted You Tube Channels
04/17/15, 03:36

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr5whSqPuac

I've noticed a disturbing tendency with you, Mr Holmes, to really crave censorship and self-imposed isolation. This is unfortunate, because I think that you're both smart and old enough to deal with people whose values and beliefs are different from your own.

Besides, I would assume - correct me if I'm wrong, because I don't know much Youtube, I am a casual user at best - I would assume that the easiest way to avoid Mr Thunderfoot's videos would be to, simply not click on them...? Does Youtube now force you to watch the videos it recommends, like Pandora does? Is Thunderfoot an intrusive preload advertiser? Help me out here, Mr Holmes; what is it about Mr Thunderfoot that is that is so intrusive, that you can't simply stop clicking on his videos, but instead need to actively purge all trace of them from your hugbox?

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