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Quad9Damage

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Comments
Are our children's religious rights being violated in public schools?
11/25/12, 16:02

1). These teachers are either really paranoid about getting fired or they don't understand how things work. Students have always been allowed to express their faith among themselves. That's never been taken away from them.

2). The kid says the teacher told him he wasn't allowed to read his Bible during recess -- this could either be an example of # 1 OR we're hearing his twisted version of the facts. Maybe he was really reading his Bible in class and too focused on Lot's daughters while the teacher was talking.

3). Define "Satanic art." And were you doing the assignment?
Parents Upset Over Super Nintendo Console
11/25/12, 14:32

So what's the issue with the parents here?

If the parents are complaining about rampant consumerism and commercialism demanding their child buy the Super Nintendo, good for them.

If they're complaining because you can't cram the new 16-bit cartridges in the old 8-bit toaster slot, and therefore have to go out and buy a whole new system (for twice as much!), they're fucking stupid. That's like complaining because you can't shove a music CD in the Apple IIGS 3.5" floppy add-on.
Matthew Lesko (Free government money)
11/25/12, 12:40

And now, with a federal deficit in the trillions and daily posts on my Facebook feed about how welfare recipients will use taxpayer dollars to buy weed (in a state where marijuana isn't even fucking legal) ...have at it.
Everything is Terrible - NINJA MAGIC DRAGON KID!
11/21/12, 14:09

It's Ninja Magic Kid!

SEE! Ninja Magic Kid take on hooting, whooping LA rapists with the power of fishing!

WATCH! Ninja Magic Kid awkwardly beat up mixed minority car squatters!

HEAR! Ninja Magic Kid magically change a clown man's life!

WITNESS! As Ninja Magic Kid fixes his aunt and uncle's marriage like he's Doogie Fucking Howser, LISW!

BE AMAZED! As Ninja Magic Kid tackles his uncle's drinking problem with on-the-fly psychology!

DON'T MISS! This chance to see the second coming of Christ: Ninja Magic Kid!
Overkill design: Todd McFarlane and Rob Liefeld at work
11/20/12, 21:53

This is the first time I've ever seen these two in person. McFarlane sounds like he has brain damage. Liefeld sounds a bit like Randall Graves.

I agree with everyone here. Lee is obviously trolling them. He's putting their lack of talent on exhibit and they are oblivious to his mockery.
Republicans must stay true to their beliefs
11/16/12, 14:36

- More young people are turning toward scientific evidence rather than blindly believing in a Bronze Age fairy tale.

- College students are realizing that perhaps having their federal financial aid slashed to ribbons is not a good thing.

- 22-year-old women are preferring that the GOP keep its probing old white man fingers out of their wombs.

- Gays no longer feel the need to be ashamed and, SHOCKINGLY, they're tired of being treated like second-class citizens.

- Blacks and Latinos are tired of being treated the way they have been for centuries.

- The demographic of people who are sick of being oppressed and told sentencing should be harsher for blacks, women shouldn't be allowed to have abortions, homosexuals shouldn't be allowed to get married, and public schools need to embrace the Judeo-Christian God...is growing larger and larger.

Yes, CLEARLY the GOP needs to hold on tight to that Tea Party. It sure seems to be working for them.
Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie
11/15/12, 15:55

I haven't watched this yet. I've been meaning to.

The Angry Video Game Nerd is pretty much responsible for kicking off the trend of internet review vloggers that followed. In the early 2000's it was just this guy, in his basement, making videos. Nowadays we have Spoony, Red Letter Media, the Cinema Snob, and the entire Channel Awesome and Blistered Thumbs websites. A lot of these critics have stuck to the same ol' "angry rant" routine while others have found their own unique thing. Some have a routine that has stayed strong despite few adjustments. Some... do not. I'm not ashamed to admit that I still find a few of these reviewers entertaining, out of many others who are simply repellent.

I'm hoping the AVGN Movie will be the Nerd's swan song. It was funny when he first started, but a guy can only make so many videos that consist of the same poopie and bestiality rants before it gets old. Looking back, the only thing I really liked about James Rolfes' character were the facial expressions.

This year Doug Walker killed his Nostalgia Critic character in the annual Channel Awesome Special wankfest. Maybe it's time for James to put aside his Nerd character as well...
Yahoo Serious is Young Einstein
11/13/12, 19:27

For years after I watched this movie, I had no memory of anything about it except the kitten pie. I knew I'd seen SOMETHING with a kitten pie that haunted my waking nightmares, but I had no idea what the hell it WAS. Did I imagine it? Did I dream it?

Then Comedy Central aired it during one of their 'throw random old shit on' blocks, and I was relieved of my childhood trauma. For some reason I'd filled in memory gaps with horrible images of kittens burning alive.

But Yahoo saves the kitties! He saves them because... wait, why the fuck was a guy trying to bake kittens in a pie in the first place?
The Wizard - The whole god damned movie
11/13/12, 19:17

LUCAS TOUCHED MY BREAST!!!

http://www.homefacts.com/offender-detail/NY20653/Jack-Vinson.html
Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn - End of an Era
11/13/12, 08:27

I confess I haven't played anything of Blizzard's since I bought Warcraft III. But I remember... I'll never forget.

A demon-possessed man returns to his castle and stabs his father! But we're not going to show you that. Here are shadows.

A city gets completely destroyed and all of its inhabitants are burned to ashes! Here is a sandcastle.

This is the the best comment from YouTube's first page:

Meanwhile, Blizzard uses its vast animation department to make cutscenes of a woman falling asleep as her grandfather reads a book.
dorpth 6 hours ago
Yahoo Serious is Young Einstein
11/13/12, 07:46

My dad took me to see this when I was five.

The kitten pie scene scared the shit out of me.
Hooper X
11/11/12, 20:24

I mean fucking seriously. Smith already wrote the "37 blowjobs" argument in "Clerks," then he went and made this movie, a movie about a guy so insecure over his nice, level-headed girlfriend's sexual experience that he treats her like fucking shit and wants to have a three-way to stroke his ego. Yeah, it's established that Holden is wrong and stupid for blowing the situation out proportion, but since "Chasing Amy" is largely autobiographical, it's safe to assume Kevin Smith was/is that shitty in real life.
Hooper X
11/11/12, 20:07

Literally the only scene from "Chasing Amy" I still like. The rest of the movie is either Jason Lee's character being all creepy about little girls or Kevin Smith pontificating about his own relationship issues that are completely his fucking fault.
Magic School Bus: The Movie
11/11/12, 19:38

So "Magic School Bus" is kind of like "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," where people assume Frizzle is sweet and kind and well-meaning, but the reality is the Friz is kind of a sociopath?
Magic School Bus: The Movie
11/11/12, 08:00

Even without this being an "Event Horizon' rewrite, I can totally picture Arnold trying to destroy the school bus.
It's Thanksgiving
11/11/12, 04:24

- Patrice Wilson suddenly creeping up from the bottom of the frame to insert himself into the video.

- Patrice in an Uncle Sam hat and grilling in a creepy chicken suit to cater to the mostly white crowd of children.

- Patrice gorging on turkey with a look on his face like he's straight out of a goddamn 1920's minstrel show.

- 13-year-old girl who not only appears to be emancipated from her parents, but owns her own fucking beautiful house.

- Said girl also interrupts the dinner blessing to burst into a random rap... and then uses a drumstick as an improvised microphone.

I'm looking at this with new eyes now. This beats the shit out of the "Friday" video.
Magic School Bus: The Movie
11/11/12, 04:04

Why are these nostalgic fake trailers always so beautiful and spot-on? One would think they'd be pandering Family Guy cutaway-gag style shit, but my God, now I WANT a poignant "Doug" movie and I WANT a poignant "Magic School Bus" movie.
Magic School Bus: The Movie
11/11/12, 03:41

I love you.
It's Thanksgiving
11/10/12, 11:14

Ark Music Factory needs to fucking die and get buried under several layers of concrete. It's bad enough that yet another child has been made a target for YouTube trolls, but Ark insists on continuing to destroy music by pumping out shit like this for the "look what I downloaded off iTunes" crowd.
Pat Robertson can't believe that women look at porn
11/09/12, 18:28

Everything from the titillating to the utterly creepy. From the arousing to the batshit deranged. A site full of people who are experts at avoiding reality, and with good reason. God knows who doing God knows what. Best not to think about it, just push it down and go on.

Yes, I am fully aware of ASSTR.

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