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Comments
Mitt Romney 2012 Concession Speech
11/07/12, 12:53

I'm honestly not sure how they got my e-mail address, but the DCC bombarded me with mail throughout this campaign asking for donations to counter the latest Super PAC or attack ad blitz. "We need $ 10 million by midnight or we're all fucked!"

I chipped in a $ 30 donation once, feeling like I needed to contribute if I wanted to keep the evangelicals out of my bedroom. But the requests for donations continued pouring in, and I ignored them.

I'm glad the grassroots efforts have paid off, though. Seeing that Scrooge bin of pro-Romney money disappear down a wormhole makes me smile.
Mitt Romney 2012 Concession Speech
11/07/12, 08:51

BACKSTAGE:

"FUCK! FUUUUUUUUUCK!!! GOD-MOTHER-FUCKING-SHIT SYPHILIS ROTTEN CLIT FUUUUUUUUUUUCK! (Smashes, throws, destroys shit, accidentally hits daughter in the face with a flying object, Ann shields her.)"

"Shall I fetch your private prototype jet, sir?"

"... Yes... fetch the jet. Kids... DON'T FUCKING LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, ANN... kids, we're goin on a trip. Would you like to go on a trap with daddy?"

(Terrified silence.)
IGNORE THE MEDIA'S LIES, OBAMA DID NOT WIN. WE NOW BRING YOU THE REAL RESULT.
11/07/12, 08:29

Living in the Deep South is scary and interesting. Last night, after Obama won, half the people on my Facebook list were excited and the other half were posting about stockpiling food, Armageddon coming, and praying to Jesus to deliver us.

One small thread had a few desperate reds claiming that the media called the election too early because the votes were still being counted in Ohio - this was, of course, long after 11 PM ET, when Obama had already cornholed Romney with his big blue California dildo. One denizen suggested that because of Ohio, Romney could still win, and that it could be like "FDR, who woke up in the morning and found out he was actually President."
Ohio Romney Rally - Interview B-Roll - Social Issues
11/06/12, 07:41

Sorry, I didn't see your whole comment. I have a splitting headache, and... yeah, I'm not having a good morning.
Ohio Romney Rally - Interview B-Roll - Social Issues
11/06/12, 07:21

The Cliff Notes version:

- Fox News talking points
- People thinking their opinions should be forced on others.
- Non-answers.

Missing from the cast:

- Shrieking coffee abusing banshee.

Added to the cast:

- Bobcat Goldthwait clone
- Slurry McDrankTooManyBeers
Ohio Romney Rally - Interview B-Roll - Social Issues
11/06/12, 07:19

Did you catch the twist ending after the credits?

SPOILER: He gets his opinions from his relatives and probably doesn't believe that bullshit.
Ohio Romney Rally - Interviews with Supporters
11/05/12, 22:17

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny?
Housewife with dying flower arrangement 'reveals' some troubling facts about Obama
11/05/12, 15:37

The revenge line is not NEARLY as damning as the "47%" line, the "binders full of women" line or the several dozen "Your rape baby is God's gift" and "rape can't cause pregnancy" lines.
Housewife with dying flower arrangement 'reveals' some troubling facts about Obama
11/05/12, 12:24

She fails at being a quirky YouTube girl. And the other YouTube girls who fail at being quirky at least have a message that makes sense.
Loathesome Conservative Parody of Lena Dunham 'MY FIRST TIME' ad for Obama
11/03/12, 00:25

Poor conservatives. They simply can't do parody and satire without being mean-spirited and nasty about it. Because somewhere along the way, their hatred will be so great that it'll just spew all over the jokes.
Ohio Romney Rally - Interviews with Supporters
11/02/12, 22:16

I just realized that one woman said she spotted a drone spying on her.
Ohio Romney Rally - Interviews with Supporters
11/02/12, 19:46

The caffeinated bitch in the fright wig: reasons 1-1215 I'm ready for fucking Tuesday to be FUCKING OVER ALREADY JESUS FUCK.
Joe Rogan on Religion
11/01/12, 08:30

I am sorry for your family's loss of Sister Mary Josephine. May she rest in peace.
Molly Grows Up (1953)
10/30/12, 10:20

Daddy has some really notable creep vibes.
Molly Grows Up (1953)
10/30/12, 10:18

RiffTrax has a version of this with commentary embedded. It's well worth the small price.
Whedon On Romney
10/29/12, 08:06

Don't worry. As soon as Romney is at his best and most prosperous, something bad will happen to him and/or someone important will die.

Because there's no such thing as a happy ending.
Doug Stanhope vs. Alcoholics Anonymous
10/28/12, 18:47

Yeah, I submitted that. The Dr. Drew rant is track 2 of the album and this is track 3.
God Bless America Opening Scene
10/28/12, 13:18

I was genuinely surprised and shocked by this. I knew the movie was going to be about reality trash celebrities getting murdered but I certainly wasn't expecting exploding baby infanticide.
Harley Quinn impression
10/28/12, 13:16

Too much southern belle in that Harley Quinn impression. This is just bad.
Software Pirate episode 1: Peaceholics' protest of Rockstar
10/27/12, 18:25

And after all this bullshit, "Bully" turned out to be unbelievably innocent.

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