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Quad9Damage

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Comments
Yahoo Serious is Young Einstein
11/13/12, 19:27

For years after I watched this movie, I had no memory of anything about it except the kitten pie. I knew I'd seen SOMETHING with a kitten pie that haunted my waking nightmares, but I had no idea what the hell it WAS. Did I imagine it? Did I dream it?

Then Comedy Central aired it during one of their 'throw random old shit on' blocks, and I was relieved of my childhood trauma. For some reason I'd filled in memory gaps with horrible images of kittens burning alive.

But Yahoo saves the kitties! He saves them because... wait, why the fuck was a guy trying to bake kittens in a pie in the first place?
The Wizard - The whole god damned movie
11/13/12, 19:17

LUCAS TOUCHED MY BREAST!!!

http://www.homefacts.com/offender-detail/NY20653/Jack-Vinson.html
Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn - End of an Era
11/13/12, 08:27

I confess I haven't played anything of Blizzard's since I bought Warcraft III. But I remember... I'll never forget.

A demon-possessed man returns to his castle and stabs his father! But we're not going to show you that. Here are shadows.

A city gets completely destroyed and all of its inhabitants are burned to ashes! Here is a sandcastle.

This is the the best comment from YouTube's first page:

Meanwhile, Blizzard uses its vast animation department to make cutscenes of a woman falling asleep as her grandfather reads a book.
dorpth 6 hours ago
Yahoo Serious is Young Einstein
11/13/12, 07:46

My dad took me to see this when I was five.

The kitten pie scene scared the shit out of me.
Hooper X
11/11/12, 20:24

I mean fucking seriously. Smith already wrote the "37 blowjobs" argument in "Clerks," then he went and made this movie, a movie about a guy so insecure over his nice, level-headed girlfriend's sexual experience that he treats her like fucking shit and wants to have a three-way to stroke his ego. Yeah, it's established that Holden is wrong and stupid for blowing the situation out proportion, but since "Chasing Amy" is largely autobiographical, it's safe to assume Kevin Smith was/is that shitty in real life.
Hooper X
11/11/12, 20:07

Literally the only scene from "Chasing Amy" I still like. The rest of the movie is either Jason Lee's character being all creepy about little girls or Kevin Smith pontificating about his own relationship issues that are completely his fucking fault.
Magic School Bus: The Movie
11/11/12, 19:38

So "Magic School Bus" is kind of like "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," where people assume Frizzle is sweet and kind and well-meaning, but the reality is the Friz is kind of a sociopath?
Magic School Bus: The Movie
11/11/12, 08:00

Even without this being an "Event Horizon' rewrite, I can totally picture Arnold trying to destroy the school bus.
It's Thanksgiving
11/11/12, 04:24

- Patrice Wilson suddenly creeping up from the bottom of the frame to insert himself into the video.

- Patrice in an Uncle Sam hat and grilling in a creepy chicken suit to cater to the mostly white crowd of children.

- Patrice gorging on turkey with a look on his face like he's straight out of a goddamn 1920's minstrel show.

- 13-year-old girl who not only appears to be emancipated from her parents, but owns her own fucking beautiful house.

- Said girl also interrupts the dinner blessing to burst into a random rap... and then uses a drumstick as an improvised microphone.

I'm looking at this with new eyes now. This beats the shit out of the "Friday" video.
Magic School Bus: The Movie
11/11/12, 04:04

Why are these nostalgic fake trailers always so beautiful and spot-on? One would think they'd be pandering Family Guy cutaway-gag style shit, but my God, now I WANT a poignant "Doug" movie and I WANT a poignant "Magic School Bus" movie.
Magic School Bus: The Movie
11/11/12, 03:41

I love you.
It's Thanksgiving
11/10/12, 11:14

Ark Music Factory needs to fucking die and get buried under several layers of concrete. It's bad enough that yet another child has been made a target for YouTube trolls, but Ark insists on continuing to destroy music by pumping out shit like this for the "look what I downloaded off iTunes" crowd.
Pat Robertson can't believe that women look at porn
11/09/12, 18:28

Everything from the titillating to the utterly creepy. From the arousing to the batshit deranged. A site full of people who are experts at avoiding reality, and with good reason. God knows who doing God knows what. Best not to think about it, just push it down and go on.

Yes, I am fully aware of ASSTR.
Pat Robertson can't believe that women look at porn
11/09/12, 11:37

I'm not trying to channel Pat Logic here, but the thing I don't get about "50 Shades of Grey" is that it is not groundbreaking at all. It's like millions of women had no idea that an entire genre of erotica novels existed for centuries before this. And then there's Harlequin Romance, Literotica, ASSTR, Amazon fuck eBooks... Why is this book so popular? Why is being naughty unique?
Pat Robertson can't believe that women look at porn
11/09/12, 11:31

It's the only book I've ever seen that was displayed at the front of the book with a big "Must be 18 or older to purchase" sign taped to the display case. The naughty books and magazines usually sit behind the counter where I live.
Pat Robertson can't believe that women look at porn
11/09/12, 11:30

Pat has awakened in a world where the Christian ideology of women being viewed as sluts and whores for having sexual desires is slowly, slowly draining out of our collective American consciousness. Said ideology has poisoned our culture for so long that I can totally understand this being seen as a goddamn revolution not only to Pat, but those who aren't necessarily fanatics.
Pat Robertson can't believe that women look at porn
11/09/12, 01:23

The first few seconds of this feel like a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen.
Richard Mourdock cries after getting raped in the election
11/07/12, 21:47

All life is precious.

Those 10 pound, gravy-brained incest twins inside that crying 11-year-old are precious.

How dare you attack this man for his principles.
Barack Obama wins 2012 Election
11/07/12, 13:58

"The accumulated filth of all their free birth control pills, aborted fetuses and sodomized assholes will foam up about their waists and all the Godless Atheists and feminists will look up and shout "Save us!" And I'll look down and whisper "...No."
Barack Obama wins 2012 Election
11/07/12, 13:52

So, so much wailing and gnashing of teeth. So much butthurt.

This nation wasn't founded on Christianity, sweetie.

Nobody is taking your fucking guns away.

That's a horrible, bigoted thing to say, Bill Hobbs.

I love how you're shifting blame for your party's failure by accusing Gary Johnson voters. Do you know WHY people voted for Gary Johnson in the first place?

Seriously, you are gross as shit, Bill Hobbs.

Breaking: Donald Trump doesn't understand how the electoral college works.

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