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Quad9Damage

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Comments
Chris Chan hits on his mother
02/27/12, 08:53

I read about his criminal charges. He and his mother keep getting extensions on their hearings, and the next one is in April.

This will either end in two ways. Either Chris will finally get taken away and put in a place where he can get the help that he needs, or he'll do something far, far worse than trespassing and misdemeanor assault. For someone like Chris, April is very far away...
Christian Weston Chandler humps a blowup doll in public
02/26/12, 17:30

Oh God... oh God. Did a troll pretend to be a girl again and trick Chris into doing this for tits, or has he just gone completely, utterly batshit insane? This is sad beyond all sadness. I've got this image in my head of horrified children standing around watching this before their mothers scoop them up and rush them away. This is not normal. This is in all likelihood not even normal for a person with his condition.
Matthew Perry Jennifer Aniston Windows 95 guide Part 1
02/23/12, 22:34

I like how you can have as many programs open on the taskbar as you want. Yessir, on a 1995 machine that sure is something.
Girl Scouts promote Homosexual Lifestyles & Abortion.
02/23/12, 20:03

The real issue is that Republicans despise the Girl Scouts for not having a "Barefoot & Pregnant in the Kitchen" merit badge.
Love, Sex and Dating in the 90s
02/23/12, 18:06

"How to point to schlong"
Matthew Perry Jennifer Aniston Windows 95 guide Part 1
02/23/12, 18:04

0:27 "You'll get more than a few laughs as we present the world's first cyber sitcom..." I already had douche chills.

Also WHY IS THERE A SEINFELD NOISE every time there's a joke? Did they forget what sitcom Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry were from?
PEE-WEE'S XXX ADVENTURE: A PORN PARODY
02/22/12, 07:24

They've already made 'Home Improvement,' 'Fresh Prince' and 'In Living Color' XXX parodies. At this point they're so far down into the abyss with these ideas that it wouldn't surprise me if they came out with a 'Punky Brewster' or 'Gimmie a Break!' XXX parody.
PEE-WEE'S XXX ADVENTURE: A PORN PARODY
02/21/12, 22:31

Can't wait for the Large Marge gangbang scene.
PEE-WEE'S XXX ADVENTURE: A PORN PARODY
02/21/12, 21:24

The only porno that gives you a strong sense of irony if you jerk off to it.
Jiz - Kimber Is a Dirty Lezzie
02/21/12, 18:59

+ 10 more stars for the "Clitoris" song, although Britney pretty much sings those kinds of songs already.
Jiz - Kimber Is a Dirty Lezzie
02/21/12, 17:44

I don't know why I laugh so hard at these... but I do. I really, really do.
Rick Santorum on Science and the Environment
02/21/12, 08:52

You mentioned him already, but we've already had a mentally retarded president. He started two costly wars, drove a nail through public education's coffin, ruined the economy, tried to amend the Constitution to outlaw gay marriage, pushed abstinence-only sex ed on schools, and bullshit the country every step of the way. I don't think having Santorum as president will be funny at all. If Bush did that much damage, imagine what someone who is not only mentally retarded, but even more of a fundamentalist evangelical wingnut can and will do.
Rick Santorum on Science and the Environment
02/21/12, 08:44

"Women, on the other hand, shouldn't be stewards of airplanes. They should be at home getting impregnated every 9 months (missionary only) and spending time in-between cleaning dishes. The left always criticizes us, but the left is anti-women!"
Rick Santorum on Individual Rights.
02/18/12, 19:54

"Wow... uh... the Federal Government doesn't do that."

Wow indeed.
This guy runs a Super PAC for Santorum
02/16/12, 19:14

I wish I didn't live in a fucking cartoon reality where people like Santorum and this creepy apologist exist.
Santorum being covered with ..santorum?
02/16/12, 11:19

What goes through Santorum's head when he's proposing these ideas to his ad campaign manager?

"Now, I really want to rein in all these college-aged liberal youths who don't vote Republican. Young people like action scenes, right? And Doomsday scenarios about Big Brother taking over? Yeah, they love questioning authority. Write that one down. Oh, and I want something like the secular Godless gross-out comedies they enjoy. Give me something with a mud/fecal gun."
Santorum being covered with ..santorum?
02/15/12, 23:04

If you get splattered with Romney poop, well... just make the best of a bad situation.
Rifftrax: Twilight Eclipse clips
02/15/12, 18:05

I admit that Rifftrax doesn't have the same magic MST3k did, but all the same, it is impossible for me to endure a 'Twilight' movie without a Rifftrax commentary playing over it.

I like to download torrents of the 'Twilight' movies with the commentaries embedded in them and then compensate Rifftrax with Paypal donations. That way I get the commentary and the movie without having to have the DVD or do the mixing, Rifftrax still gets paid, and I can say "fuck you, you rich crazy Mormon fucknut."
Rifftrax: Twilight Eclipse clips
02/15/12, 17:55

Twilight seems to bring out a level of defensiveness bordering on murderous rage from a lot of its fans. It's really sad to watch so many apologists defend this piece of shit franchise to the point where they might just drive a knife through your skull if you call Jacob a pedophile around them. Unfortunately, my sister is one of those kinds of fans, and she's a grown-ass woman for fuck's sake.
Dad Shoots Daughters Laptop Over Facebook Post (OMG)
02/11/12, 08:28

... And every round that went into that laptop is $ 2000 she's going to be making in tips at the strip club. That way she'll be able to buy the highest grade laptop for her webcam shows. Thanks, daddy!

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