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Comments
Uncle Buck TV Series Intro
12/18/11, 08:48

When I came across this clip I struggled to figure out how the hell the movie could be made into a TV series (unless Uncle Buck was just made into every stock wacky sitcom character ever). So I hopped over to Wikipedia and HOLY SHIT:

"The television version starred Kevin Meaney as Buck, a slob who drinks, smokes and is named the guardian of Tia, Miles, and Maizy after his brother and sister-in-law, Bob and Cindy, die in a car accident."

So they had to figure out out a way to make Uncle Buck a permanent fixture in the house instead of just a wacky babysitter and they landed on killing off the parents.
Uncle Buck TV Series Intro
12/18/11, 08:46

Love how the older niece comes in and the sloppy John Candy knockoff is like "nuh uh, not gonna dress like a slut on my watch!" while that awful song plays.
Nimu
12/17/11, 22:52

Okay, annoying. Skip to the 2 minute mark... the same... the 4 minute mark... still the same... 6 minute mark, 9 minute mark... WHAT THE FUCK.

I'm sorry, but no.
Steve Wilkos - 'I Molested My Daughter'
12/17/11, 07:37

I'm not sure what percentage of Steve Wilkos is made up bullshit with hired actors, but I imagine it's pretty high.

And I know there are some awful, shitty people on the world, but all the same, I'm not buying that this molester creep is for real at all. Steve is basically bellowing at a fucking cartoon character here. He's like a really bad Garth Ennis creation. But I had to submit the clip because it's pretty much the worst thing I've seen all year.
Mrs. Doubtfire recut trailer
12/12/11, 13:34

To me the trailer is what "Mrs. Doubtfire" would be like if it were crossed with "One Hour Photo."
Mrs. Doubtfire recut trailer
12/12/11, 11:02

The movie ends the mother arranging to have the dad see the kids a few hours every day after school, and the dad also gets a children's television show where he continues dressing in granny drag. And it closes with a Very Special Episode narration about divorce.
4 year old girl barely restrains herself from mauling mom's barely-conscious missing-link ex-bf
12/11/11, 11:04

I don't know. The little girl seems to have an odd look in her eye, as if there's some coldness in her soul that compliments her superpowers.
Teenager questions Michelle Bachmann about same-sex marriage
12/05/11, 08:23

The applause threw me off a little at first. I didn't know what side they were on.

"Government's role is protect civil rights. Everyone in America should have the same civil rights." (clap clap clap)

"But gay couples can't marry because straight people can't marry other straight people of the same sex. It's The Law. That would be giving gays unequal special privileges." (clap clap clap, "Good answer!")

But I just woke up and I'm really tired, so I forgot that anybody who is clapping for anything Michelle Bachmann says is buying into her bullshit.
Teenager questions Michelle Bachmann about same-sex marriage
12/05/11, 07:57

Okay... everybody in America is supposed to have equal civil rights... so same-sex couples cannot marry each other because that wouldn't be giving them the same equal rights as everybody else... because they wouldn't be following the same Law of the Land as everybody else. "Civil rights" means being subject to 'The Law.' You don't get special privileges for "sex practices" because we are now talking about fucking.

Way to spin that shit like it's in a blender, Poindexter.
Herman Cain suspends campaign, quotes Pokemon
12/04/11, 20:59

Christ, I can only imagine what would have happened if he'd actually become the Republican nominee and made it to the debates:

"President Obama, I know the MEDIA is going to come down on me for this (shakes head all 'liberals with their stupid nonsense' like) but I offer you these words: ... I am the Saiyan who came from earth to defeat you. Despite my calm, quiet heart, I am the legendary warrior, awakened by intense anger..."
The Virgin Diaries
12/02/11, 15:57

I'll bet the temperature in their hotel room during the honeymoon suddenly spiked 40 degrees and started cooling down again after about five seconds.

And that afterwards they lay there, not looking at each other, wondering why they avoided any amount of physical contact whatsoever for the last 17 years of their lives to please some ancient angry deity, only to have SOMEONE's penis be too sensitive from years and years of sexual repression.
Ferris Bueller The Series
12/02/11, 12:52

"Mr. Broderick, while you do have an impressive resume here, I'm afraid you're just too... whitebread. Yes. Two-dimensional. Perhaps... Tootsie? In any case, we found someone HIP and EXTREME TO THE MAX who will be playing your part. It's 1990, Mr. Broderick. Television is what is real now."

Ferris Bueller The Series
12/02/11, 12:47

I'm not sure if this is a 'prequel' or just a reinterpretation of "Ferris Bueller" that breaks some kind of wall by having the movie exist in its universe. And I don't really know what to say about that song and those lyrics. It's somehow worse than the "Sonic Underground" theme.
Ferris Bueller The Series
12/02/11, 10:51

The ultimate combination of awesome. It's Ferris Bueller! It's a PREQUEL! Instead of stuffy old Matthew Broderick we got a hip 90's guy (but he sounds kinda like him anyway!) Here's his girlfriend - she's not as hot as Mia Sara but she's BLONDE! And we had to drop the "Day Off" because if we kept that in the title every episode would have to be about him cutting school or it wouldn't make sense!
Kohl's Black Friday Commercial
11/25/11, 14:29

Kohl's has now made their official upload of the video private. Problem, Kohl's?
Pat Robertson has an important question about mac & cheese.
11/24/11, 11:37

I don't understand the deal with this Olive Garden place. Is that a French people thing? Also, the Chinese cook really good American food at their buffets. I think they do a better job with jello and apple pie over there in China than Americans do here!
Pat Robertson has an important question about mac & cheese.
11/24/11, 11:30

To answer your question, it's not his ignorance that is the problem. It's his blatant homophobia, sexism and vicious intolerance of anything remotely forbidden in his ancient religious text. Also, people still follow him and believe his bullshit, so he spreads stupidity amongst those who take him seriously.

And every now and then, he'll say something that's not quite as evil but still really stupid, so they include those clips too for laughs.
Kohl's Black Friday Commercial
11/22/11, 08:27

... I didn't notice that. That is fucking awful. I didn't know human greed was such a lighthearted thing they could just stick that in there so casually.
Index of super cute bath salts
11/21/11, 08:02

But wait, THERE'S MORE! Call within the next ten minutes and we'll show you more shots of tits!
Eiken Opening
11/13/11, 19:24

See also: Love Hina

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