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Quad9Damage

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Comments
Rick Santorum hates higher learning
01/28/12, 08:10

Back when I was in college, street preachers were always showing up and standing around on campus to yell at students who passed by. One time I was walking to class and a crazy looking old white guy with a long unkempt beard whom I mistook for homeless at first was standing in the middle of the street. He shoved a religious tract in my face: "Here! Have some fresh bread! It's better than that old STALE bread the professors give you here!"

I took the tract to be polite. Maybe I could jot something down on it later, I figured. As soon as I began walking again, the man got crazier with the next student he encountered. "Those old professors will MASTURBATE your mind!" he bellowed. I stopped and turned around for a moment to watch. A young co-ed passed by the man. "MASTURBATE YOUR MIND!!!" he screamed at her. She hurriedly fled with a disgusted look on her face, like the man was an escaped sexual predator.

I tell you that story so I can point out that Rick Santorum is exactly like that screaming bearded man, except he's clean-cut and wears sweater vests.
Red Tails Trailer
01/27/12, 07:58

Never thought I'd see the day when a movie about the Tuskegee Airmen is advertised with a trailer that's dangerously close to using "Party Rock Anthem" for its music.
Red Tails Trailer
01/27/12, 07:55

Okay... so let me get this straight. The man who created a show based around his loathing of black popular culture wrote this. He wrote a 'serious' movie where every character appears to be Granddad's WWII fighter pilot buddy from that one episode.
Half in the Bag reviews Red Tails
01/27/12, 07:47

A badly aged, culturally blind white man says "There are no black action movies" while he promotes a hacky vapid piece of shit he likely had a heavy influence on. Because this is CLEARLY THE MOST DEFINITIVE BLACK HISTORY MOVIE IN DECA..EVER and there have never been good movies about black people.
Bullwinkle - 'I love little pussy'
01/21/12, 20:19

"Who are you? Where's the little pussy?"
"... 'Bullwinkle,' why don't you have a seat over here... Kool Aid?"
Bullwinkle - 'I love little pussy'
01/21/12, 19:54

Would've been funny if he got attacked by a cougar.
Santorum ad - REBELLION
01/21/12, 12:02

So I'm guessing the enslaved masses in this video are hardcore fundamentalist Christians who think contraception encourages the devil's business?
My Video for Briona
01/21/12, 11:59

HURRY UP, BENSON AND STABLER.
Happy Days XXX Intro
01/21/12, 11:55

These porn parodies are getting more and more ridiculous and it's fun to imagine just how they can make erotic porn out of some of these shows. Browsing the Adam and Eve store is insane - Home Improvement XXX, The Flintstones, Fresh Prince, Beverly Hillbillies, THE NANNY, SCOOBY DOO... although I can think of at least one reason why I'd want the "Married... With Children" porno parody.

TOMMY GUNN AS THE FONZ.
Warcraft 3- Ending
01/17/12, 07:04

"But won't that bring about an Apocalypse and be a harsh means to an end, [insert name of demigod?]"
"As our ancestors who smile upon us once said, to make an omelet... the breaking of a few eggs must commence. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. As for us, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, and we must not be great men, but just be men."
[Really hard final battle level, cutscene with a few seconds of pretty lights.]
Warcraft 3- Ending
01/17/12, 06:55

"We cannot let our enemy win. We must beat them back while we carry out the most difficult of tasks. Once and for all, We MUST destroy the Overmi-I-I mean the Worldst.. goddamnit! WORLD TREE!"
Saved By The Bell - Inappropriate Woo-ing
01/17/12, 06:38

They seriously need to do this for other shows. Imagine the possibilities!

DR. COX: I was obsessed with getting those organs... oh no, please no!
AUDIENCE: WOOOOOOOO!!

BUFFY: Mom? ...Mommy?
AUDIENCE: WOOOOOOO!!

WILL: I'm gonna be a better father than he ever was. And I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause there ain't a damn thing he can teach me about how to love my kids! [cries] How come he don't want me, man?
AUDIENCE: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH!!!
Saved By The Bell - Inappropriate Woo-ing
01/17/12, 06:24

I wish there was still an archive of Captain Obvious's website. I feel a copy/paste of his take on Zach Morris would be appropriate here.
Saved By The Bell - Inappropriate Woo-ing
01/17/12, 06:23

I have to admit, when I read "Inappropriate woo-ing" I was thinking of something very different... until the last clip. What the hell was that movie, by the way? Did Zach Morris become untouchable bitch?
Adam Sandler accepts People's Choice award for 'Jack and Jill'
01/16/12, 12:39

You can easily hear the Sandler in every 'voice' and 'impersonation' he does. It's awful. This really is 1993 all over again.
Adam Sandler accepts People's Choice award for 'Jack and Jill'
01/16/12, 12:37

Wrap-it-up music would have been very beneficial here.
Barney Raps About Fruity Pebbles Again
01/13/12, 11:07

The uploader makes a good point - Fred's totally fine sharing his cereal with Santa or some weirdo rapper, but when his lifelong best friend asks for some Fred's all "go fuck yourself, pinko."

Happy New Year 2012
01/06/12, 21:12

Why did he turn on a lawn mower to count down the new year?

Why is he counting down the new year when it isn't live and is going to take at least an hour to upload to YouTube?
Report to Dad and Maria from Australia
01/05/12, 12:21

Yeah, thanks for providing context for this. I had no idea who the fuck the people in this video were and just assumed they were some awkwardly creepy missionaries and that was the joke. But the truth behind it is ugly and scary.
Clip from REVENGE OF THE NERDS TV pilot
01/02/12, 16:46

"Are all nerds as good at tricking people into sex as you?"

(Laugh track)

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