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|A 'Short and Inoffensive' Graduation Prayer, Texas-Style.|
"Oh Jesus, forgive me for trying to make something out of myself and studying and getting good grades, when all I had to do all this time is find a man, any man, and crank out some babies in your name. Oh Lord! Please forgive us! And by us I mean myself, the royal "us"! I promise I won't use my degree to help myself get a good paying job. Have mercy on them, Lord! They know not what they do with their... um... uh... human... um... I ooooh shit there's the migraine again, please Jesus make it stop!"
|7 Questions That'll Make Atheists Think!|
Yeah, Baumer's right, it's boring as hell, but I believe that adds to the evil factor.
|A Moveing Sermon from Everyone's Favorite Pasturd|
"My wife is from Germany, she makes me pee sitting down. Fuck that bitch! This sermon is for her."
|Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|
He's the Cat With Hands, trying to assemble enough human parts to one day be a Man.
|DC Council Hearing on Gay Marriage Bill -- Final Witness|
I couldn't understand half of what she was saying. A purr and just God? Chustice of the people? Solom and Gomore? D'na Repas'nt? Gur'ntee? At about 3:40 she goes full on Boomhauer.
She needs to be a character on Squidbillies.
|Lilo & Stitch hijack a 747|
the big tsunami happened after this movie came out.
|Mario Fangame Showcase: Normal Super Mario Bros. 3|
Way better than any hack I tried making. I'd love to know what he used to pull off some of those effects. Even on simple things my hack attempts would crash and burn, or glitch out and never be the same. Doing all THIS and it's stable, just blows my mind.
|How To Get Worker's Comp|
It wasn't 'acting stupid', it was part of her job description - to 'zone' the shelves, basically pull product from the back to the front so it a. looks like the store has their shit together and b. is easier for customers to get to. These shelves were pretty high and she needed a ladder to help keep it stocked. These things do happen, the shelving does fall apart. They get old, wear down with time, and constantly holding heavy things doesn't help since they're poorly designed in the first place. I've seen a store manager of a grocery store lose a whole section of spaghetti sauce, on ground level, no ladders involved, and even though he was just doing what should have been routine and this freak thing happened, he still had to swallow his pride and be the target of jokes for a while.
The sooner we can accept that life itself is inherently absurd and will make fools of us all from time to time, the sooner we can begin to heal. Or whatev.
|Scientology spokesman has a hissy fit and leaves when asked about Xenu|
Yeah, I hear the "Niacin Wonder" Perk is the hardest one to get.
|David Spade And The Ghost Of Chris Farley Shill DirectTv|
Now all we need is a Matrix ad with Keanu Reeves wondering why he's trying to save humanity when he could be at home watching DirecTV. Top that off with an edited clip from The Shining, and the circle will be complete.
|No Retreat No Surrender Training Montage|
It's true purpose is to help you fight the wooden golem from the Tekken series.
|Windows 3.1 Launch Party|
mainly because they have nine people on a couch who act like 'fuck you, I'm only here for pizza and brownies.'
|New robotic hand 'can feel' [BBC]|
Wait until Stelarc gets wind of it.
|Large Hadron Collider 'Being Sabotaged from the Future'|
it's a good scientific theory to people who don't know what science is, or what a theory means in the context of science (as opposed to the context of a shitty cop show on USA).
|What Famous Men Have To Say About Jews|
Oh yeah, pimptastical Pope whatshisface is going to talk about how the Jews have too much money and take it all from the poor. That's the pot calling something else black.
|BackUp shotgun rack|
I meant Billy Mays. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but whatever, he's dead now, which is weird.
"How many times has this happened to you?" BOOM! "Oh no! That stain will never come up!"
|WINDOWS7 IS THE CUTEST OS EVER|
It could just be not giving a shit.
This commercial is marketed towards moms everywhere.
|Bus crash compilation, San Antonio, Texas|
It looked like the same bus driver in most of them.
|Russian Dude Barely Makes It|
Hop, skip, jump, OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT hop, skip, jump...
|Avoiding Temptation/Sin For Homosexuality Temptation|
the God of self-loathing and wasted years strikes again.