cognitivedissonance
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Children at the Wheel
02/25/12, 06:46
We never did any driving in my hick childhood, but we did have a "shootin' car", which doubled as the "M-80 and firecracker car" starting June 15th and running through whenever the hell the reservation stopped selling. |
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LO SPALATORE - The Digger
02/25/12, 06:17
The Mario death music should be orchestrated as the new Italian national anthem. |
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All about how Dave Albo isn't getting any
02/25/12, 06:07
I'm starting a petition to require women to officially name their shits and post pictures of them to Facebook before flushing them. I'm reading for that Super PAC money, by golly! |
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Prodigy: The Internet is a diner
02/25/12, 04:47
Much like diner culture. |
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'Pope Michael' - Full Documentary
02/25/12, 04:26
I don't like this "Father Ted" reboot. |
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Liberals sure do love to see babies die
02/24/12, 16:40
You can kill anybody you like if you're a member of the NRA and they're not white. |
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10 minutes of HIM
02/24/12, 16:35
Both characters are pale shadows of the Blue Meanie. |
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Batman: The Brave & The Bold - Roast of Batman
02/24/12, 05:58
I could not resist. https://twitter.com/#!/DrVictorFries1 |
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Batman: The Brave & The Bold - Roast of Batman
02/24/12, 05:32
Who would've THAWED it? |
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Introducing the Chocolate Wonderfall
02/24/12, 03:28
So the non-stop river... it never stops, you say? |
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Food Safety Music: Microbes Medley
02/24/12, 01:21
*might.
"might" kill you. We just don't know yet. |
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Love, Sex and Dating in the 90s
02/24/12, 01:10
We haven't yet lived through any actual threat to our notions of international superiority! Let's have a Pepsi Clear to celebrate! |
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Matthew Perry Jennifer Aniston Windows 95 guide Part 1
02/24/12, 00:57
Imagine the mountain of coke Perry bought with this. |
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Joad Cressbeckler: Immigrants Who Survive Arizona Desert Deserve Citizenship
02/23/12, 22:53
Oh, his name sounds like "chode"! An extra level is added to a joke I already loved. |
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Rumpelstiltskin trailer
02/23/12, 17:45
Box... office... ?
Brother, you don't understand Cannon Films yet. Soon you will know the wondrous truth. |
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Schludwiller Beer Ad
02/23/12, 12:02
I'm sipping a Weinhard's right now. When did they drop the Blitz?
9:02 am alcoholism. |
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Worf Confused By Phone, Room Service
02/23/12, 11:59
This scene could do enormously with a sloppy wet fart as he leaves the room. |
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A Warrior's Drink
02/23/12, 11:55
Worf Week turns out to be the most mundanely disturbing week of all. |
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Worf gives Wesley some dating advice
02/23/12, 11:50
Worf's Holodeck program is nothing but a dozen headless, lifeless Deanna Trois and racks upon racks of knives. |
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Worf shows off his rad knife to Riker
02/23/12, 09:38
Tacoma Mall, I want to say 1999-ish? Certainly pre-9/11.
I'm wandering around blankly with a friend, both of us are in pretty much the last few months in our home town and likely to never see each other again, and we are enjoying a summer's day in an air conditioned mall. We've gone through literally all the stores twice, sampled the See's Chocolates several times, and we're at last in the knife and cigar store, for no real reason other than that it's there. Neither of us smoked and neither of us had any real interest in knives. However, it was, at that moment in time, cemented in my mind by the following incident, a weird moment between childhood and adulthood, realizing the fuzzy grey area between the trivial fancies of boyhood and whatever the hell else I'm supposed to be doing now that my balls have dropped.
As we turn to leave the store, the archetypical cheesy-yeasty-smell, trenchcoat, acne, t-shirt with an anime character on it nerd walks in, and walks up to the counter, and asks "Do you have my Klingon glaive yet?" The clerk, apparently having seen this kid before, and this question becoming a nuisance, says, "Yes, we have it, and I've told you before, I can't sell it to you until you're 18 or your parent or guardian is here and buys it for you."
The nerd SQUEALS, a high pitched piggy noise, and SCREAMS, "I TOLD YOU I'D BE EIGHTEEN TODAY, I WANT MY KLINGON GLAIVE." The clerk says "Fine, do you have any ID?" The kid starts crying. Bawling. He falls on the floor in a heap, and my friend and I are just standing there, staring at the situation. Genuine autistic freak out. Eventually security comes, and drags him out, and the guard asks "Is he with you?" and we said no. But the autistic, he looked at us, whimpering, "Right guys? Right? You know I'm 18?"
To this day I don't know what to think about it. I don't know if he actually thought we would come to his side or if he was trying to taint us with his nerd stink to come to his rescue. I have long wondered if he ever got his glaive. |
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