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IrishWhiskey

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Comments
I'm a Denier
01/17/11, 00:36

Global Warming is a Ponzi scheme to benefit Al Gore!

He developed the internet to spread lies about it, became Vice-President to control government research scientists and agencies, invented the perfect sex-bot (both males and female versions) to bride the world's scientific community, and invented a time-machine to make the research demonstrating the evidence of global warming extent back decades, all so he could win an Oscar!

Groundhog Day: All The Ned Ryerson Scenes
01/16/11, 16:12

I tried the tip that a hug is more effective at chasing away unwanted attention than a punch to the face.

It worked very well. Except for those rare occasions it works very, very poorly.
The Flaming C, animated
01/15/11, 00:53

They're both online. There's not reason to choose, except for which one you'll watch live.
The Simpsons - A XXX Parody (trailer)
01/13/11, 02:51

Stupid Sexy Flanders!
The Simpsons - A XXX Parody (trailer)
01/12/11, 18:33

The bar's already low enough that I'm just glad Bart and Lisa aren't involved.

At first I wasn't sure why they brought in Cookie Kwan, but clearly its for her outstanding acting ability.
Quartuvlarry draws 'Moham'
01/12/11, 16:57

"Imitation is the highest form of flattery"

Either he's confessing to beating women, or he doesn't know what "imitation" means.
Penn and Teller BS: Easy Money (1/2)
01/11/11, 15:58

They do fine when mocking mindlessly obvious issues, but the second they hit something complex or political, logic goes off the rails:

"Drug laws in this country are crazy! We're locking up people for life-sentences for harmless, non-addictive marijuana!.....
....And just how retarded are laws keeping kids from buying cigarettes and alcohol!"

"These energy crystals and homeopathic medicines are complete scams! Look how stupid this woman is trying to explain them!...
...And that's why we need to deregulate the drug industry! They know science and are smart!"

"These products labeled organic and green are actually just marketing terms. Companies have figured out how to trick consumers into feeling less guilty....
....The solution is to not give a crap about the environment. Toxic waste and air quality laws must also equally be a scam!"

"Most people drive above the speed limit....
....so why bother having traffic laws at all!"
The Force Unleashed 2 - Ewok punting
01/10/11, 17:06

Anni! Tedii go bye bye! Ooooh nosa! Wassa wessa gonna do!
Michael Caine Impersonates Michael Caine.
01/10/11, 17:04

Man Michael Caine, that's a weak Michael Caine impression. I mean, who do you think you are, Michael Caine?
Introduction; Jared Loughner
01/08/11, 18:46

Ah, but he says he doesn't believe in God. Therefore, he's a liberal. He shot those people because he doesn't think there's a hell, and therefore has no reason to act in a moral manner. To stop these killings we need more God, more guns (if that 9 year old were armed she'd be alive) and less healthcare.

The guy who shot up a liberal church left a note basically saying "Because Glenn Beck says so", and that did nothing to tone down the rhetoric or stop radicals from blaming it on their political opponents. I'm long since past the point of hoping that there'll be a backlash against the fear and anger-based unadulterated lunacy.
Diablo III: Demon Hunter Cinematic
01/08/11, 16:50

This segment would have been totally redeemed by making the Demon Hunter a straight up asshole. Its the terrible writing trying to convince us she's a hard-edged hero that's makes it insultingly bad.
House - Its never Lupus
01/08/11, 16:37

The insult here being that you play D&D with Xiphias' dad? 'Yo Mamma' it isn't.
Ninjabread Man - Gameplay
01/08/11, 15:42

It's one of the worst received games of this generation, a direct port of what was already an old, bad PS2 game, that contains game-breaking bugs.

They've since announced the sequel "Ninjabread Man II: Blades of Fury".
Dethklok gets furry!
01/03/11, 20:05

What the hell? There is nothing remotely approaching furry in this. Its Dethklok and spirit animals, not Sonic banging StarFox.

2 starts because yay Dethklok, and boo terrible title and description for a clip that doesn't stand on its own.
Brian Williams riffs on New York Times coverage
01/02/11, 23:58

I could kiss that man on the mouth.

He gets an extra star for not naming iPads as the media story of the year like the others apparently did. I mean, Jesus, really? iPads? Why not just name Snuggies for how easy they makes blogging?
Batman Toy Commercial
01/01/11, 16:40

No, Batman would suspect him. But ever since he mistakenly assaulted and arrested FlavaFlav, he's had to be careful not to substantiate allegations of racial bias. The man was wearing parachute pants, a cloak, top hat and cane, and had a giant clock around his neck. People might not like to admit it, but profiling supervillains works!
Christian version of the origin of the Star Spangled Banner
01/01/11, 06:01

"Jesus spoke to his disciples of the everlasting covenant, the promise sealed in the blood and sacrifice of the savior. The Lord sat and broke bread, even knowing that one of them would betray him. Each of his disciples came to him, and they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I?

And Jesus said, I have used my grace and wisdom to deduce that it is in fact Judas Iscariot who did betray me. And Judas said, but I have an alibi, O Lord. And the Lord responded that he had analyzed the tape of Judas at the nightclub and found that the reflection of the clock in the bar mirror did not match the time-stamp. And Judas sneered as he mounted his motorcycle, proclaiming as he drove away, thou will have to catch me first so called son of God. But Jesus called upon his friend, Bumblebee the Transformer. And there was much smoke from the spinning of wheels. And as Judas was chased, they drove over many ramps, and crashed many wooden stalls selling dates and figs. The Lord saw the Romans preparing crosses with which to crucify prisoners, and so he commanded unto Bumblebee to swing around. And so Jesus did grab a cross through the window, using it as a jousting javelin. Seeing that he had run out of space, Judas turned around to face the Lord, pulling out his Sith lightsaber and spake Say hello to your father for me. But Jesus did use his cross to knock Judas from his cycle and as he put on his Rayban sunglasses did announce, this is your blood, the blood of the everlasting ass-kicking.

And from this story, we learn why it is that America is the only real Christian nation. Amen"
The Atheist Experience - Proof and evidence that atheism is accurate and correct
12/29/10, 19:44

More like this kind of tennis game:

A: Alright, its best of 15, lets play
F: Hey, I just scored 4 points!
A: What? No you didn't. We just started three seconds ago.
F: Prove I didn't.
A: No, that's not how this works!
F: The referee says that I scored, so that's final.
A: What referee? There's no one else here.
F: Well I can see and hear him, and a lot of other people would agree with me that he exists. So you need to prove that he doesn't.
A: If he's here, then ask him to tell you how many fingers I have behind my back.
F: That's not how this works! You're just angry and bitter that you lack my power to see invisible referees.
M: Hey guys? I see the invisible referee too, and he's telling me that its my turn to use the court.
F: Shut up! You can't be seeing or hearing him, because he agrees with me!
LRH: Hey guys, how would you all like magic powers? Just give me your bank account info, and I promise I'll have to you in a few weeks. Just remember asking for refunds is not permitted.
The Atheist Experience - Morals, rape & punishment
12/29/10, 17:44

Reducing a penalty for being "unduly harsh" or a "sentencing injustice" isn't mercy, its simply restoring justice. Reducing a "duly harsh" sentence that was justly applied for reasons of compassion would be mercy. Mercy can lead to a more fair/just/societally optimal outcome, without being 'justice'. Of course this depends on specific definitions of justice and mercy that aren't universally agreed upon, but are what the caller was talking about there (suffering proportional to crimes). The point on show's side is not that salvation is bad, but rather that the Christian definition of salvation contradicts justice.

More important is the idea that salvation in the Christian sense isn't about restoration or retribution (although some saints did dedicate their live to making amends or making themselves suffer) but simply loving and obeying God. I was commonly told in Catholic school stories of horrible men who engaged in brutality and accepted God right before their deaths to find the reward of eternal paradise in heaven. While their innocent victims who did not accept God would suffer eternally. Christianity (or most denominations) basically say that all other crimes are insignificant compared to accepting complete control by God.

As the show points out, its a philosophy whereby good people suffer unimaginable torment for being born in the wrong place while horrible people, even if its good that they reform, find no punishment in this life or the next. You could say that knowledge of their own misdeeds will haunt them, but that's not really how heaven is described.
The Great Miracle of Allah
12/28/10, 14:39

Looked to me like Tattoo from Fantasy Island.

Presumably this would further prove that Mr. Roarke is God.

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