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pastorofmuppets

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Comments
Gordon Ramsay teaches you how to make scrambled eggs.
04/25/09, 07:23

the fact still remains that he threw a vine of mini tomatoes on a pan and then on the plate for no reason other than color. who is going to eat all those? at least cut them open you lazy git
Trojan Vibrating Touch Commercial
04/25/09, 07:13

utah, you so crazy
Masturbation as Birth Control
04/25/09, 07:09

i mean, the larger messages of these passages relating to lust. i did not read the bible and decide it was a book on marriage and addiction.

the cliff notes version is that there is some genocide committed by the hebrews, then some against the hebrews, then they are just ruled over for a while, and all the while they want their temple back. and then this guy shows up and he's pretty cool but he doesn't come with a temple, but some people say he did and you just have to use your imagination. and at the very end there's some more genocide to round it out.
Jonas Brothers spray hot foam
04/25/09, 06:49

i can only get it up when irony is involved. Once I had a nun for a girlfriend, those were really wild times.
Miss California's Opinion on Gay Marriage
04/25/09, 06:41

One day America is going to be taken over by some country that hasn't even been founded yet (or maybe one that has, who knows).

They'll give us parts of New Mexico to live in. The occupying force will dance on our ancestors' graves and then come in from a long day of dancing and watch whatever the future calls "conservative pundits" on the holovision, drink some soft drink not yet invented, and wax philosophical about "that which governs least" and how those moon colonist queers shouldn't be allowed to marry people born on planet earth.

That's how they were raised, you see.
Miss California's Opinion on Gay Marriage
04/25/09, 06:33

Discrimination is not getting to eat somewhere or sit somewhere because your skin pigmentation or sexual orientation is not en vogue. Discrimination is, having to go to New England because you want to declare your marriage to someone and no one else will let you do it.

Getting called out on your bullshit is not discrimination, it is life.

If the "opinion" is that certain people shouldn't have the same rights as other certain people, then she can move somewhere where there's a fucking caste system. "Liberty and justice for all" does not suddenly become a bad thing if "all" doesn't mean "straight WASPs."
Tesla Coil's Greatest Hits: Zelda
04/25/09, 05:53

I wonder if you could make back the money spent on one of these by charging people to play various instruments through it.
Sad Wolverine Vs. The Blob
04/25/09, 05:51

"you're very attractive! no you're very attractive!"

these are always home runs with me.
Enter The Vore Vixxen
04/25/09, 05:43

Why yes, the stars do begin right above the straight black line that separates the solid green stuff from the royal blue night sky. Also underneath the grass there is usually some unknown gray stuff that is home to tiles of uneven sizes.
Olbermann & Lawrence O'Donnell talk about Sean Hannity and torture.
04/25/09, 05:41

This. In their zeal to make Hannity look like a douche they are indirectly saying that tortue is (a) a good method of getting information and (b) ok if it's a "bad guy". They're saying one thing and (pretending at) doing another.
Gathering Gay Storm
04/25/09, 04:17

These quotes are too vague. Everyone just write "for gay marriage" and "against gay marriage" so I know which of you are on the level.
Gathering Gay Storm
04/25/09, 00:50

I actually liked this one better, but I appreciated that Colbert points out that NOM is actually "a rainbow coalition" of Mormons.

Technically they believe that God lives on a planet called Kolob and sends his seed to every planet with life on it, and that Jesus was but one of his many children, born of his many wives.

Kolob.

NOM called me recently before my state senate and house both (overwhelmingly) voted to replace all marriage laws with gender-neutral versions. They're lucky they missed me.
Gathering Gay Storm
04/25/09, 00:34

www.giantgayrepellantumbrella.com links to a different site (a blog, but typo squatters nonetheless)

you'll be wanting www.giantgayrepellentumbrella.com
Gathering Gay Storm
04/25/09, 00:32

I didn't laugh that hard at the video he made for Tim Hardaway, but for whatever reason as soon as he opened his mouth in this one I snapped.
Gathering Gay Storm
04/25/09, 00:20

Yeah but NOM lacks a fear of ridicule. Now I ask you, which is the greater sin?

Before you answer, keep in mind: bananas are handles.
Miss California's Opinion on Gay Marriage
04/24/09, 19:49

sorry, did you say something?

man that miss CA has some nice tater tots
Fear of The Lord is The Beginning of Wisdom
04/24/09, 13:48

Pear of the Lord.
Douchebag on a Slingshot Ride
04/24/09, 13:27

I think she's his handler.
Emergency Landing 421
04/24/09, 13:14

ursa, with these embedding disabled vids you can just click on the black area and it will open youtube with the right code in a new window.
Rob Liefeld Levi's Commercial
04/24/09, 12:51

"He has on a backwards cap, and when he turns it around, it's still backwards."

That could easily become a horror movie cliche.

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