|The Dog Police pilot|
I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for why that alien dog cop has psychic powers.
|Garfield's Pet Force|
I had heard the phrase "so straight to DVD it hurts", but until now I couldn't really appreciate what it meant. Coming soon to DVD came as absolutely no surprise.
|A Life Guided by (Evidence)|
To be fair to Descartes' ideas, one could say that given that we encounter multiple accounts of reality that are mutually contradictory, then we know that at least some of these accounts must not be true (assuming that reality is internally consistent). This would allow us to make a reality/dreaming distinction, although the term dreaming is loaded and imprecise for the definition we would be using. However, there is nothing within this argument that would provide us a means to to determine which account is true and which is false, which would lead to Descartes' claim that he can't tell which is which. Showing such a means would require a separate counterargument. So, we can distinguish A from B, as they are mutually exclusive, we just can't tell which is which. Of course, this runs into problems when you start using an actually practical definition of reality,
Being fair to Descartes isn't terribly easy. Metaphysical philosophy of reality and properties tends to be the bullshittiest of philosophy, and gives the rest a bad reputation.
|Highest possible jump in Super Mario Bros.|
The youtube description, to somewhat redeem this:
Forward: You'll have to excuse the poor quality of the video. I ripped it directly from a years old betamax tape (the one this amazing feat was originally recorded on) that was not in the best of shape. This was recorded in 1999 and is footage of Super Mario Bros. for the original Nintendo. If you excuse the poor quality of the audio and video, though, you will observe one of the most shocking and amazing acts of gaming ability the world has ever seen. I also edited the audio just a little, because "Who Let the Dogs Out" by the Baha Men was playing in the background. Thank you very much for watching.
For years, Jerry (or "jihadjerry" as we have dubbed this lovable Muslim) had attempted to achieve the unachievable. Everyone said he couldn't do it. His friends said he couldn't do it. Shigeru "Shiggy" Miyamoto said he couldn't do it. And unfortunately I, one of his closest gaming companions and friends, said he couldn't do it. His mission? To jump impossibly high in the original Super Mario Brothers.
Every year we gathered around the Nintendo for a party, dusted it off, and played all the old classics and every year, without fail, jihadjerry would attempt to make his jump. It became a tradition, sip on a cold Game Fuel and watch Jerry sweat up a storm as he tried to jump to the top of the map until he inevitably gave up in frustration.
But something was different that day. There was a cold calculating in Jerry's eyes, perhaps a sign of some gaming epiphany he had had the night before. His eyes, usually bright and cheerful, were calculating and stern; a determined look that we had never seen in him before. The only thing he even said that day was "I'm making my jump tonight."
We sat around the Nintendo, watching as Jerry turned it on and picked up the controller. There was a certain grace, serenity in the way he held it, as if he himself weren't lifting it, but perhaps Allah. He quickly jumped over the first goomba, made a few practice jumps, and then made history. Aside from our radio playing in the background, there was complete silence. We watched in awe as Jerry jumped into the baby blue sky and beyond the edge of the map like a scene out of "Angels in the Outfield".
Never in my life have I truly KNOWN the essence of silence until Jerry landed. There was no sound, no "Who Let the Dogs Out" or Nintendo noises. Nothing. Complete silence. We had just seen years of determination, practice, and an intense love of gaming culminate in a matter of seconds. We weren't even overcome by a sense of joy or gladness. Only catharsis. Jerry had just shattered every single gaming record. jihadjerry had completely reshaped the way we thought about games.
And then we exploded. An outpouring of every single emotion conceivable; ecstasy, relief, love, happiness, and yes, even hate. Although I can't prove it, gamers from halfway across the state claimed to have heard our shouts of gaming jubilee. It didn't take long for news of Jerry's gaming accomplishment to spread to the newspaper, and then the local TV station, and then across the globe. jihadjerry had become a gaming VIP overnight.
He enjoyed his fame. He still does. He signs autographs regularly and went on a world tour. He met Nobuo Uematsu and Shigeru Miyamoto and Hideo Kojima. There was even an anime called "Shisamaru no Jump! Jihad" based loosely on his historic jump.
But where is jihadjerry now? True to both his gaming and Muslim roots, Jerry has founded a gaming madrasa. "I just feel like it's what I was meant for," jihadjerry explains. "I mean, the jump was great, yeah. But this is what I'm here for. The gaming madrasa is what the Lord put me here for."
Whether or not you agree with Jerry's controversial jump, one thing remains true: this is the Mario jump that completely changed the way the world games. Never before has a jump changed the course of both gaming and human history on a dime, and for this we have only to thank jihadjerry.
|A compelling new theory about Euthyphro's dilemma|
To be fair, the Euthyphro dilemma is the part of Plato where he is saying logical common sense problems with religion, not the bit where he is pulling metaphysical claims about forms out of his ass.
Also, this needs a "wait for it" tag.
|Persona 2: Hitler boss fight|
If Lovecraft had made the Nazis the good guys, he still would have made them lose. So, not all bad?
Stars for not knowing whether Hitler turning out to be Nyarlathotep makes all of this better or worse.
|Mitchell and Webb Look - Snooker Commentary Season 1|
These stars are for 1:34.
|Cat Sitter Video Advertisement|
These are real live cats (not paid actors presumably put into tiny lifelike cat suits with shrink rays).
|It's okay to be Takei|
Takei: adjective: As awesome as two people who are experts on penises having sex without fear of pregnancy.
|Gays are like Islam which is Nazis|
You mean they would do to the homosexuals what the nazis did to the homosexuals?
|Highlight of the Republican debate|
There is actually a libertarian reason to support state over federal rights. States and the federal government are each about as likely to increase or reduce rights as the other, but it is easier for outside pressure to change the policies of a state than a nation. If Mississippi or wherever want to round up the gays or turn into a slave owning aristocracy, there are 49 other states and a national army to change that. If America as a whole decides that fascism is awesome, then it would take a fairly major portion of the planet to force changes back to democracy. There is a potential problem of a majority of reactionary states preventing liberal policies by other states, but in practice separate states are more likely to band together for liberty rather than against it. Under this theory gains in liberty made by states would be more likely to stick around while regression would be corrected, while a strong national government would be more capricious.
If this all sounds slightly paranoid, why yes, yes it is.
|The AMAZING Sunny Seat cat bed! As Seen On TV|
Are they trying to say that the laser pointers that come free in cereal boxes are worth fifteen dollars?
|Dude flunks out of nursing school and posts a video about it.|
I do agree with having high standards for who we allow to put sharp objects in other people with the intent of not killing them, but the combination of "suicidal premed" and "Fuck yes I'm going to be mean" is slightly disturbing. I don't think that anyone is suggesting giving him a sympathy pass, but maybe trying to avoid having him down a pill bottle would be good, as much as you can.
|'Fighter's Uncaged' for Kinec Trailer|
A noticeable lack of AIs actually fighting back. From this video, the game seems to be about flailing arms in a fightingish manner, which makes one computer beat up the other computer.
|Adventure Time - Slumber Party Panic|
These five chubbies are for you.
|Chris-chan Undercover: trying to get un-banned from a game/toy store|
Chris doesn't mention yelling at the kid because he doesn't seem to realize that this was why he was banned, or perhaps because he does and realizes how bad it sounds. And yeah, there's a lot he leaves out in his videos. The unofficial cwc wiki has more.
|Chris-chan Undercover: trying to get un-banned from a game/toy store|
It is also believed that Chris' outburst was motivated by racism- the kid was one of several black kids at the store that Chris had recurring problems with. Reportedly he picked on them and was constantly suspicious of them stealing his things, with little or no provocation.
|Daily Show - Why Does Glenn Beck Love Gold So Much?|
Because he doesn't have the decency to move on.