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The Mothership

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Comments
'The Citizen Kane Of White Trash Punch-Out Videos'
06/04/12, 15:22

I was also fooled at first; no commentary on the video, the commentary is text only. desc. could have made this clearer, so here it is.


First, many thanks for turning me on to what must truly be the Citizen Kane of White Trash Punch-Out Videos. This footage has just about everything: Copious supply of wife-beater T-Shirts? Check. Vaguely Juggalo-esgue dude with crooked Mohawk? Check. Future Employee-of-the-Month bravely protecting the pretzel display from possible damage? Check. The sole Black guy in Billings, Montana? Check.

In fact, the only way this clip could possibly be better is if it were to include a montage, set to the music of Night Ranger, of the shirtless guy training for the "fight."

As with Akira Kurosawa's "Rashomon," I'm sure that everyone who witnessed the fight has a different perspective on what actually went down, but here's my take on the events based on both detailed forensic analysis and consuming an entire six pack of Milwaukee's Best:

Black T-shirt Guy has mistaken the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle for the Schrodinger's Cat Paradox and No T-shirt Guy is not about to let this faux pas pass without a quick witticism, least aspersions be cast upon the intellectual prowess of the denizens of Billings.

A heated yet healthy debate about the choreography of Bob Fosse then ensues right up until the 26 second mark when No T-shirt Guy, in an obvious allusion to Henry V's siege of Rouen, goes on the offensive while Black T-Shirt guy lulls his opponent into a false sense of security by stumbling, falling flat on his ass, and tiring out the other young lion by allowing him to punch his torso repeatedly: a unique strategy indeed.

"Your Dragons style is clearly no match for my Helen Keller style!"

Around the 50 second mark the Dadaist cry of "Round Two" can clearly be heard, signifying that, just like Godot, further fisticuffs are unlikely to appear.

It's also around this point that a passing mime, no doubt taking a break from an evening of walking against the imaginary wind, wanders onto the scene as several security guards earn their $6.25 an hour fee by standing around and pointing before leading finally leading Gray Wife-Beater Man whom, since he as a appeared out of thin air, will no doubt be charged with Third Degree Witchcraft away from the action or complete lack thereof. Leaving the assembled onlookers to scratch their collective heads and wonder "Did I leave the stove back at the meth lab burning?"
'The Citizen Kane Of White Trash Punch-Out Videos'
06/04/12, 13:45

4 star fight video, 5 star commentary.
Just like Sgt. Williams daughter on the last clip here, my new CEO to the movie Fedsmoker.
06/04/12, 01:40

wow, Dennis demonstrates some amazing restraint. Were I Dennis FEDSMOKEN would not have any teeth left after our meeting.
Cranial osteolytic expansive lesion
06/03/12, 13:31

technically not a brain cyst, but a bone cyst. Paget's disease is remarkably rare and scary, as your bones grow in strange ways.
Fox Licks Window
06/03/12, 01:47

and we do.
Van performs a stoppie.
06/03/12, 01:45

Brazil, or Italy?
Katy Perry's Sweet Treats for Sims 3
06/03/12, 01:04

Now they need to do one based on the adventures of Colonel Sweeto.
Awesome Audience Guy
06/03/12, 00:52

yea, this.
CHOO CHOO IT'S A NERD PARADE!!
06/02/12, 19:13

-1 for no super star destroyer, but +1 for the sheer nerdiness of it all.
Cooking by the Book Burlesque
06/02/12, 17:32

WHAT?!
Cowboy, with White TShirt, Scotland Shirt, Smoking My Spitfire, Meerschaum, Curved; Pipe Tobaccos
06/02/12, 16:55

This guy is amazing, as long as he lives I have hope.
At 4-1 down in his last game this player is replaced by his 5-year-old son.
06/02/12, 11:26

indeed.
Stomp Box
06/02/12, 01:55

In the late 90s I saw TMBG at La Luna in Portland, OR, and what was an already rowdy crowd went absolutely fucking nuts during this song. However, they were also moshing during 'She's an Angel', too, so wtf.
Stomp Box
06/02/12, 01:52

that's a bold statement; better than Apollo 18? I await your response.
Just 3 Boyz
06/02/12, 01:19

they try hard, but they are not.
Dark Girls -- Official Preview
06/02/12, 01:01

***** for preybyemail's comments, they bring us closer as a community.
Cyriak - Baaa
06/01/12, 17:37

that's right.
Diver panics while being caught in a strong down current.
06/01/12, 16:53

That divers' buddy should have been closer to him. Also, that diver could have really hurt himself ascending so fast. You hear the guy who came up with him telling him to go back down; that's to avoid the bends that this dumbass probably gave himself.
interesting helicopter physics video
06/01/12, 11:54

learned a thing
Dark Girls -- Official Preview
06/01/12, 11:45

dunno if I could watch a feature-length version, this depressed me enough.

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