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Comments
slam dunk contest cartoon
04/22/15, 02:00

"...made on ms paint using windows movie maker."

Holy crap. He must've drawn (and copy-pasted background elements) every cel of animation.

That's a lot of dedication and belief that what he was doing didn't suck.
You can live in South Dakota.
04/22/15, 01:58

This must've been made before gas prices fell. A lot people in the oil & gas industry are getting laid off at the moment.
Batman v. Superman: Darkness, No Parents
04/19/15, 12:35

I'll admit I've liked the Constantine TV show he's written (so far), but yeah, he's got way too many stinkers under his belt.

I'm guessing they won't put "Written by the screenwriter for Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD, the one from 1998 starring David Hasselhoff" on the posters.
Batman v. Superman: Darkness, No Parents
04/19/15, 12:32

EH, tell me who issues a warrant for Darkseid? Does the Justice League sit on their hands while alien spaceships destroy L.A. until they get a go-ahead from the governor?

I'm not sure which adventures of Superman you're reading, but the ones they ought to be basing the films off of don't have him going after thugs or doing a hell of a lot of detective work. The stories they need to be doing is him going up against Brainiac or Doomsday.

Unless you're going off of comics from the 1960's and before, having Supes spend his time fighting gangsters is not only boring, it's also a waste of resources. The guy who can punch a hole through an asteroid should be given similar physical challenges, not stopping people who use tommy guns to rob banks.

As to your bit about being in imminent danger, go look up what "depraved indifference" means. I'll wait.
Batman v. Superman: Darkness, No Parents
04/19/15, 12:03

@Infinite Zest: Go watch the episode of Justice League Unlimited called "Ultimatum." I think you'll be pleased.
Batman v. Superman: Darkness, No Parents
04/19/15, 11:49

Actually, you're missing the point of how super heroes work. They are not police, they are vigilantes. The idea is they right wrongs and stop villains that the law can't handle. Very often, Superman fights bad guys just to keep them from starting shit, not so they can go to jail. There's no "chain of evidence" when you're not a legally deputized arm of the state's law enforcement. If the law does get involved, it's only after the fact, when the villain's plot or threat has been taken care of, and it's often for evidence gleaned apart from the super hero interceding.

Now, as far as Cena's comments:

"Batman's parents weren't murdered by inside traders or tax evaders."

They weren't murdered by a steroid-infused luchador, Darkseid, or a man in a space suit wielding a freeze-ray, either. He still managed to fight those guys and others on occasion, yet he never went after the crime in his own peer group. Again, fuck Batman.

"Superman on his own wasn't working out..."

Gee, why could that be? Let's see, "Superman Returns" was basically a remake of the first Donner movie, but in that one Superman was a roofie rapist and a deadbeat dad, Lex Luthor was a real estate scam artist and not a corporate super genius, and every problem was solved by Superman lifting something. It was an awful movie.

Then there's "Man of Steel." Pa Kent is okay with letting people die to "protect" Clark, Superman can't seem to figure out that punching Zod away from Metropolis might cut down on the body count, and without any build-up or even a nod to the character's historical code of not killing anyone with his powers, they have Superman snap Zod's neck. Again, it was an awful movie.

No superhero can really go it alone now, because they look even more ridiculous when they do. They need a larger world to flesh out their stories and make them seem a little more plausible. Marvel has learned this, but DC is trying to achieve this without planning for it. They really needed to reboot Batman AND Superman, this time making movies that were BY DESIGN supposed to introduce a larger DCU. Instead, we're going to get fightin' films that are defended the same way the Star Wars prequels are: "It had cool effects!"
Batman v. Superman: Darkness, No Parents
04/19/15, 09:57

EH, you just described Batman. Batman is a conservative's wet dream: Fight street-level crime while ignoring the mega-fraud going on in our legal system which, as a billionaire as well as being Batman, he could do something about. Does he? Nope. He goes after the low-hanging fruit that people want kept out of their gated communities. Fuck Batman.
Batman v. Superman: Darkness, No Parents
04/19/15, 09:53

I see DC's problem as being the marketing department.

Their TV shows work because the suits back at DC and Time-Warner don't seem to meddle with those very much (apart from certain restrictions on Smallville not having Superman in his actual uniform). Again, the animated shows from Dini/Timm are fantastic and manage to make the heroes interesting as well as the villains. Kevin Conroy was a great Batman and actually had some personality. It only got better as the cast of the show(s) grew, especially in Batman Beyond where he and Terry McGinnis would verbally spar in most conversations.

But when it comes to the movies, I think they're afraid to try ANYTHING, even the stuff that's been shown to be popular in the comic books themselves. Even in the comics, the best stories are the ones that used to be called "Elseworlds" where writers can go nuts with the characters since it's an alternate universe, allowing them to mix it up a little.

Ironically, Marvel has had to step up its game and get more creative thanks to the X-Men and Spider-Man rights being tied up with other studios, and after all is said and done, I think I like the Marvel U without mutants and the baggage they bring along. I get that they became a metaphor for oppressed groups (be it gays, nerds, or whatever), but that kind of falls apart when your oppressed group can kill you with its eyeballs or read the minds of everyone on the planet.
20th Century Fox logo for Alien 3
04/19/15, 09:44

@Urist: The alien in the medical bay was a practical effect. The one running through the halls was CGI. It looked awful.

"...not a happy feel-good movie." Even in horror movies, just offing someone without preamble is cheap and easy. It's bullshit writing.

"The alien made it on board the Sulaco." When did the queen have a chance to lay any eggs? Her ovipositor was left on the planet, and the second she got off the dropship, she was fighting Ripley and then getting thrown out an airlock. If they'd shown the eggs attached to the dropship somewhere, MAYBE I'd buy it.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - Official Teaser Trailer
04/19/15, 07:09

I prefer robo-voice batman over Christian Bale's bat-voice, hands down.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - Official Teaser Trailer
04/19/15, 07:07

DC is using "grimdark" here the same way porn uses tits in place of plot.

Seriously, this is a setup that should've been done after a Superman movie and Batman movie that were designed to set up a larger DCU in movie theaters. It also runs counter to how Batman & Superman are supposed to be different and operate on different levels as characters. It just chucks them and everyone else into this "wow, the world sucks, let's break necks and fight each other because that's what gritty realism is all about."

Affleck isn't going to be what sinks this movie; a script that wants to lead up to a Justice League movie without setting the stage properly for one will be. Everyone said "stop complaining about Man of Steel until you see it" and what we got was a movie that wanted to have spectacle yet had no idea what made Superman an interesting character.
Batman v. Superman: Darkness, No Parents
04/19/15, 07:01

Except it's a differentiation that doesn't need to be made. DC Comics could make fun movies if they knew how, but when they try, the result is the god-awful Green Lantern. I think they're going with dark-n-gritty because it worked for Batman, but that's just because it's Batman. It doesn't mean it's what works for every damn character they have.

Go look at the animated series DC put out for Batman, Superman, the Justice League and Batman Beyond. They could be fun AND dark, if needed, but they didn't just dive into pathos for no good reason.

As for this movie, so far it looks about as deep as a boxing match. "Watch Superman and Batman fight, for reasons!"
20th Century Fox logo for Alien 3
04/19/15, 06:19

What was cool about Alien 3:

1. The setting. I mean, largely abandoned space prison that's turned into a kind of a violent monastery with a pretty interesting bunch of weirdos? I dig it.

2. Bishop's "reactivation" scene.

3. It established the Xeno's ability to use other organisms as hosts and get different physical traits from them.

4. The soundtrack. Seriously, it's a great one. I almost wish it would get re-purposed for a different movie.

What sucked about Alien 3:

1. The setup made no sense. Where did the facehugger come from? Why did it crack Newt's capsule and not infect her, but it somehow got into Ripley's? Why did it leak acid at all as nothing injured it? It's this, along with the fact that Newt & Hicks die right off the bat, that taints the film for most viewers.

2. The CGI Alien. This really wasn't the film's fault, I guess. It had the bad luck of being made when CGI was becoming ubiquitous and didn't really know how to use it properly.

3. The director, by his own admission, thought he wanted to do an Alien movie but had no idea how hard it was going to be.
Brad Bird's 'The Spirit' pencil-test 'trailer' (1980)
04/15/15, 19:05

I love Brad Bird's work, but why do people like "The Spirit" so much? Is it because of its historical context and the artist who did it? I ask because the actual Spirit comics I've read just seem awfully dull. A cop "dies" via suspended animation and decides to start fighting crime from the cemetery.

I just can't get into it. The concept and execution make Dick Tracy read like "The Wire."
Scooby-Doo! in Arabian Nights (1994, the whole thing)
04/15/15, 17:10

Not that Disney's Aladdin was wholly original, but damn if Hanna-Barbera didn't lose every last vestige of originality after the first Flintstone's spin-off, if not earlier.
What is earthing?
04/13/15, 07:03

Oh, no, no, no. That's why they're chased out of the parks, so they don't get to be Earthing moochers on the rest of society. Let them sleep on un-Earthed concrete until they can contribute to... Earth. Or something.

This has bee Libertarians for Earthing. Buy our stupid things.
Prison Game Sparks Controversy
04/11/15, 17:47

Homer, you kind of burned yourself griping that Minecraft wasn't going to go anywhere because it wasn't finished. You might want to read up on Prison Architect and quit while you're behind.
Anti-Vaxx Mom's 7 Kids All Get Whooping Cough
04/11/15, 17:45

It's ironic to HER, because she believed some idiotic conspiracy theory.

I wonder what the correlation is between anti-vaxxers who won't vaccinate their kids vs. ones that won't vaccinate their pets. I mean, do they worry Fido will get Autism?
Head transplantation -- The future is now | Dr. Sergio Canavero | TEDxLimassol
04/11/15, 11:31

Hmmm... So what if we then had someone figure out how to induce birth defects into people that causes brain aneurysms or other mental failings at an early age, or perhaps causes no brain development whatsoever?

I loves me a medical horror story, and I'm pretty sure that wouldn't happen... intentionally. I can totally see it being considered if this procedure works.
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided - Announcement Trailer
04/11/15, 10:57

From what I gather, the boss battles WERE done by an outside studio, and they were among the worst parts of the game.

As far as the story goes, they crippled themselves by making this game a prequel to Deus Ex instead of just rebooting the damn thing. They wanted an "ending" that you could kinda-sorta think leads to the beginning of Deus Ex, which... Eh, it's open to debate. That said, I wish they'd just said "fuck it" and done a more satisfying ending or had one of the three choices be interesting.

This is in opposition to Mass Effect 3 whose ending made no sense in the context of the previous games and had choices that also made little to no sense in the slightest.

BUT anyway, the level designs being cramped was weird, and I'm guessing that's so the game could be played on consoles (which have more severe memory limits than PCs). It was also strange that everyone had a hard limit of, what, five e-mails? There were also several places where its as if the internet didn't exist (like someone storing a file on their local drive at a company they were mad at, rather than putting it on some kind of DropBox-style setup), but that's a problem with future-tech not meshing with knowledge about the current day.

I also hope they ditch the candy bars. I mean, really. I get they want to limit your available powers, but that's just dumb. It's also strange that if this is what you need for augs that hardly anyone has them for sale. You'd think there'd be effing vending machines everywhere if they're so essential...

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