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Watermelon crushed by steroids
05/15/11, 10:04

I never thought a real-life version of Chun-Li's thighs would end up on a guy.
Rand Paul Equates Universal Health Care And Slavery
05/15/11, 10:00

What else is there to go by? Are there secret libertarians out there who don't believe in stupid bullshit? I have yet to see otherwise and people like Rand Paul just reinforce that "stereotype".
Islam Deserves No First Amendment Protections
05/15/11, 01:22

That's a new one. Thousands of years before the Constitution was drafted, the Qu'ran specifically dictated that it be destroyed.

Usually idiots like this guy go for:
1. Your kids. ALWAYS say your kids are at risk of death or brainwashing.
2. Your way of life. The American way of life. What you eat, drive, think, say etc
3. Your freedom and rights. Usually coupled with the American way of life. Whatever your American rights are, THEY are wanting to take them away because they hate them.
4. You. Usually, this is saved for pushing a product. YOU might be at risk of heart disease, stroke, etc. It's less effective in these situations because when there is a common enemy, they are after America and you are just a cog in the wheel.
Now they are after our constitution. They want to take the constitution out of it's protective casing and replace it with Sharia law. i know the Constitution is a hit button for idiot rednecks but if they are going to National Treasure the bitch and replace that piece of paper with their paper before anyone notices then I don't feel safe in my own home.
Rand Paul Equates Universal Health Care And Slavery
05/14/11, 23:35

I think he meant a moral parasite, mark. Basically, this man's goal is utterly demonize everything about a public healthcare option in favor of our fucked up system as it is by over-dramatizing it to help people "understand" that this thing is as bad as the thing he compares it to. Hell if he's going to go ahead and make blind statements he might as well said that universal healthcare is the same thing as the holocaust because they are both bi-products of socialism. I know his and your party's ideology is something as asinine as "governement bad" but come on. A public option is a no-brainer. And blaming these "welfare brood mares" being the real parasites is the same limp-wristed argument as job loss being the fault of illegal immigrants coming here and taking our jobs when the real problem is companies out-sourcing all of the labor overseas. Rand Paul openly fights any kind of progress that would actually help people and not just a percentage of people. I don't expect you to agree with any of this and I've probably just been trolled but I just want to know that your views aren't very well thought out. Thank you.
Rand Paul Equates Universal Health Care And Slavery
05/14/11, 18:23

It's funny that he totally misunderstands what slavery entails since he's from Kentucky
Funniest Guy in Iowa Goes to Las Vegas
05/14/11, 18:21

I'm positive most of it is but the end reminds me of Stroke Guy's Mary Kate & Ashley uh... review.
The environment is your enemy.
05/14/11, 18:17

This is an absolutely golden find.

Good gravy! Environmentalism is trying to turn people from Christians that believe in shit we can't see and only turn to him because other people bribe them to believe to a philosophy that can help better all of civilization! From now on, I'll leave my Cadillac car running at all times to combat this villainous agenda!
The World Ends in One Week ! w00t ! 5/21/11
05/14/11, 14:34

HA! Take THAT, Dan Brown!
Funniest Guy in Iowa Goes to Las Vegas
05/14/11, 10:35

The odd turn it took at the end was great. I thought this guy was dead serious that he thought all of this unfunny shit was funny but then he did the Louie Anderson joke and I realized it's just a character.

A really, really accurate character.
Dinosaurs and Fred Flintstone attack Noah's Arc.
05/13/11, 22:14

I don't write strictly fanservice crap, poorwill.
Reba Schappell - The Fear of Being Alone
05/13/11, 18:27

The final sign of the rapture
Dinosaurs and Fred Flintstone attack Noah's Arc.
05/13/11, 17:34

John turns to Jesus and says "Let's go all the way" and they begin to fornicate. It starts to get hot and heavy with tons of sucking sounds and moaning. The soft, flesh-against-flesh slapping sound can be heard from the reeds to the left of them, where Thomas the Train Engine learns of Jesus' ultimate betrayal. "He said I was the one" Thomas wimpered to himself, his face welling up with sadness and rejection. And Thomas wept. He wept and ran away. Jesus and John were still all over each other. Their hot, sweaty, hairy bodies attempting to become one being. John was about to reach his climax when he heard something from the bushes. He feared it was Peter or Paul. "Peter! Paul! Come out from the bushes at once" shouted Jesus as he began to put on his robe, leaving a very angry John at his feet. Jesus began to inspect the reeds, furious at the thought that his disciples could be such cock-blocks. He fumbled around and grabbed at something. Pulling away from the plants, Jesus was holding the head of Simon. He shrieked in horror. John began to puke. Then Jesus began to puke. Then out came Cropsy, strutting towards them with a pair of garden sheers.
Dinosaurs and Fred Flintstone attack Noah's Arc.
05/13/11, 17:24

I hope they turn this into a video game. I'm sure they will have tons of unlockables and people will bitch about Gabriel being too much of a Michael clone. Velociraptor will be broken as fuck and manbaby fanboys will bitch about the addition of She-Noah.
Dewey On Religion
05/12/11, 23:30

She's pretty much written to be disliked. She's so full of herself and almost always wrong about everything she talks about. She's annoying and manipulative. Yeah it's amusing sometimes but most of the time it's just uncomfortable to watch her.
A white guy uses the race card in his campaign ad to great comedic effect
05/12/11, 22:39

I bet if you shake them hard enough, bootleg Pokemon cards and Ben 10 merchandise falls out of their tiny pockets.
King of the Hill - 'Are you Chinese or Japanese?'
05/12/11, 19:33

Bill and Dale STOLE the backhoe because they were mad at Hank for hanging out with Hal. He first noticed them missing because the backhoe was gone and no one had seen Dale in a while. On his search for them, he carried a picture of Dale and Bill together and a picture of the backhoe which got more recognition than either of the two. He might trust them with things but often resents their shenanigans. He has said on numerous occassions that he expects stupid crap out of Dale and Bill but Boomhauer is usually well-behaved with tools and such. The show might have a lot to do with honor and trust but his friends have proven themselves not worthy of Hank's trust. The backhoe incident, the firehouse burning down, the trip to Mexico. Hank does a lot for all of them and doesn't get a lot in return as far as materialistic things. What he does get back is trust and friendship. Dale has said on many occassions that he only really trusts Hank (the sniper stand-off episode, the kidney episode) and his friends usually try to pull through for him any way they can (Dale saving Hank's ass when the gun club was taken over). The show is about keeping your friends regardless of how big of fuck-ups they are and helping them out when their problems overwhelm them even if it is their own damn fault.
King of the Hill - 'Are you Chinese or Japanese?'
05/12/11, 17:27

HA! I troll all of you. It's really Kahn's lawn. Why would Hank and crew be sitting on boxes in their own lawn? But yet, where did this picnic table go when Dion Sanders' car got rolled into Kahn's lawn?
Dewey On Religion
05/12/11, 17:21

Some Dewey and most Hal moments were golden. Craig was the oddball character used for certain situation. The mom was horrible and Malcolm was the worst character in any show other than Peggy Hill. So a few good characters with good moments really doesn't outshine the fact that the show was based on a whiney piece of shit with mommy issues and his mother who is really the only conflict in the show other than Malcolm's own ego.
Reagan Revolution Time Travel Cartoon
05/12/11, 15:17

This isn't canon.
Smith College Fascists.
05/12/11, 14:31

He's trying to be a chracter like Strokeguy but seriously can't because his shit's all fucked up and he's a moron.

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