jangbones
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Dog sets world record for not giving a shit
10/01/12, 17:55
raised by cats |
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99 Problems (Explicit Political Remix)
09/30/12, 23:58
OBAMA
If you're having bank problems, I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but Mitt's not one
I got protestors saying our economy blows
And my Wall Street brothers want "Occupy" closed
You bitches keep saying "No change, no votes"
I work for the banks, stupid
What type of threats are those?
The gas pumps where your whole paycheck goes
It's been a long time since you was having cash flows
So fuck my critics, you can kiss my asshole
If you don't like my lyrics then you can hit the road
Who cares about the polls?
This election's a show
If you wanna vote for Mitt
I don't give a shit
So newsmags try to use my weak ass
So advertisers give them more cash for ads
Fuckers, I don't know what you take me as
But understand the intelligence Obama has
You're from riches to rags, bitches, I ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but Mitt's not one
99 problems but Mitt ain't one
With all your bank problems, I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but Mitt's not one
Hit me
The year is 2009 and the White House is mine
But the economy's in full motherfucking decline
My choices at the time were to shit on the poor
Or fellate the banks to get elected once more
Now I'm not trying to fight
J.P. Morgan Chase
Got their campaign dollars
So I can win the race
So I sucked dick and watch the country implode
I heard...
ROMNEY
Son, do you know how to cheat the tax code?
OBAMA
Well I'm young and I'm rich
And my tax rate's low
Don't I look like a One Percenter?
Mitt, you would know
Did I pass your test?
Or should I get some mo'?
ROMNEY
No, just tell us what you sent down to Mexico
OBAMA
If you think I'm stepping down from office
For trafficking weapons in their drug cartel war
I ain't steppin' down from shit
Cause this President's legit
ROMNEY
Well, do you mind if we see that birth certificate?
OBAMA
All my records are blocked you conspiracy hack
And I know my rights so you gonna need a warrant for that
ROMNEY
Now aren't you sharp as a tack?
Are you some type of lawyer or something?
OBAMA
Well, I'm not a lawyer for nothin'
I passed the bar so I know quite a bit
Enough that you don't have a fucking chance, Mitt
ROMNEY
Well, let's see how smart you are when the election comes
OBAMA
I got 99 problems but this bitch ain't one
99 problems but Mitt ain't one
With all your bank problems, I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but Mitt's not one
Hit me
Criminal, fraud, repression, deceit
I murder and I plunder for the world elite
We invade countries so we have all they own
MARTIN LUTHER KING
I have a dream
OBAMA
Well, I have a drone |
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99 Problems (Explicit Political Remix)
09/30/12, 23:18
fuck it, I'm transcribing the whole thing |
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Just Melvin, Just Evil (2000) complete film
09/29/12, 12:26
THAT EXPLAINS A LOT |
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Fox News accidentally airs footage of a guy blowing his brains out live on TV
09/29/12, 12:25
stand on podium of sanctimony while wallowing in filth, then get shocked when some of the filth gets on you |
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Limbaugh: feminism has made the average penis size decrease by 10%
09/29/12, 00:55
nothing shrinks the penis like obesity
I'm sure oxy doesn't help either |
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Mitt Romney tries to lead a chant
09/25/12, 22:17
Depends on your definition of "best"
I would have preferred if a rabid social conservative or blood-crazed warhawk had won the Republican nomination. Since the right wing media is unable to comprehend that they are not in the majority, their attempts to explain the loss would be hee-larious. |
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Frog Sitting On A Bench With Tupac
09/24/12, 18:22
I'm okay, just terribly lonely. |
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Absurdity Today, Sept. 21st 2012
09/22/12, 08:46
Stewart and Colbert needs to send them a fruit basket for showing viewers how good they are |
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The Dickson Experimental Sound Film (1895)
09/22/12, 00:34
The first film with sound was one of those scenes between sex in a gay porn film? |
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IS THIS IMPACTED WAX?
09/20/12, 23:04
here I thought the last Silence of the Lambs sequel was bad |
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Proof that cats are better than dogs
09/20/12, 19:22
get a cat if you want a box of shit in your house
if you prefer carrying around a bag of shit, get a dog |
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Dont want to spoil it.... Watch and enjoy! :)
09/20/12, 04:31
Ducky wore white fucking shoes to the prom. Eighties fashions were awesome. |
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Mitt Romney and the Infinite Sadness
09/19/12, 17:55
1) Read this; http://gawker.com/5944620/romneys-latest-boner-the-emperor-has-no-clothes-no-plans-and-no-excuses
2) Watch this
3) Head explode |
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Propaganda (English Version)
09/19/12, 12:38
Yup, good propaganda has enough half-truths to be thought provoking.
Many countries in the world are so accustomed to the state having heavy control over all forms of media, they assume that the US governments simply must be directing private media in the west in some way. If you read Glenn Greenwald, maybe they have a point... |
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Jon Stewart on Craig Kilborn's Daily Show
09/19/12, 01:10
lots of very 90's teevee tropes in this
-sparse audience occasionally erupting with spastic machine gun laughter
-the spacey ironic detachment of both guest and host (influenced by I think that awful MTV show Remote Control, of all things)
-BAD TRACKING...that poor VITC |
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Woman Arrested For Letting Her Children Play Outside
09/18/12, 23:27
Anecdote.
My friend bought a beautiful house on a lake. His neighbors were a poor ass redneck family that came into a little money and bought the house with a subprime mortgage. They had like five kids, and they were outside constantly, loud and very obnoxious.
Its hilly there and driveways are very steep, like twenty to thirty degrees steep. One day my friend comes home from work to find the kids are riding office chairs down the neighborhood driveways. Clearly, this is really dangerous and extremely loud, so my friend goes to the redneck neighbor's house and knocks on the door to tell him that his kids are trying to get themselves killed.
Redneck neighbor's response? "Dems is outside kids." And shuts the door. |
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Romney's emergency 10PM press conference
09/18/12, 14:14
half of Americans pay income tax
a third of Americans pay payroll tax
ten percent are retired, and about ten to fifteen percent work but make less than twenty thousand dollars a year, so they are exempt
in reality, the people to whom Romney is referring are about one percent
but since when does reality make any difference to this discussion? |
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Honey Boo Boo Style
09/18/12, 01:58
eh the Hitler one is better |
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Romney's thoughts on Obama voters
09/17/12, 22:49
Almost every election is determined by money. Look it up.
Rove's television spots have not hit the swing states in a big way yet, and he controls at least a billion dollars of SuperPAC money from big money GOP donors, which is way more than the Democrats.
Obama's numbers are good now but this race will be very close. |
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