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Comments
Patrice O'Neal (Opie & Anthony) 'It's Cold Out Here'
10/29/14, 23:53

What the fuck? We can't even call out trolling parking lots for anonymous hummers as creepy anymore because it's homophobic? What if it was a straight guy trying to get inside women's cars at 3 in the morning for a quickie?

What happened to this place?
Let's Play 'Save The President By Jumping'
10/28/14, 08:57

Ha ha, really?

Their movie reviews really were getting out of hand. It was at the point where every other kids' movie was being called "heteronormative" because Steve Carell's character in Despicable Me wasn't gay or asexual or something.

Ian "Professor Clumsy" Madison was the worst of them. Guy couldn't go a single review without going off on every movie being the most socially damaging thing since Birth of a Nation.

Do you have a link to the rage quit?
Miss Pacman Trailer
10/09/14, 05:34

Effort? We've got tits!
The Most Memorable Line from The Bad News Bears (1976)
10/08/14, 22:40

Filthy hated it

http://bigempire.com/filthy/badnewsbears.html
Alien: Isolation Scary door bug
10/07/14, 23:26

I remember the first Alien game on Commodore 64. Played a lot like FTL's boarding party bits.
Alien: Isolation Scary door bug
10/07/14, 23:25

Wait, you hide in lockers from the big monster stalking you?

Oh my god it IS Outlast!
ChrisChan's latest sweetheart drama 'I love you Catherine'
10/07/14, 21:17

It's really sad when these subjects start aging and you realize they pissed away any chance of getting better while they still had their youth. Ben Shumen, and now this guy.
Alien: Isolation Scary door bug
10/07/14, 21:13

This is reminding me of Outlast.

That is not a good thing.
How German sounds compared to other languages
10/07/14, 03:38

Or a Somethingawful article.
A Special Twin Peaks Announcement
10/07/14, 03:36

Excited, but afraid when I remember the post-Laura plot of the 2nd season, in addition to pretty much everything else Lynch has lazily crapped out the last 10 years.
Attack on Titan balloon costume
09/16/14, 21:11

It's a show where the setup is a lot cooler than anything the writers actually do with it.

Funny you should mention Evangelion twists, because the "OMG WHO COULD THAT TITAN BE?" non-mystery reminded me of the "OMG WHO IS THE FOURTH CHILD?" bit from Eva. You knew immediately who the BLONDE FEMALE MARTIAL ARTS USING titan was the instant it showed up but the show went on for half a dozen episodes acting like it was a total mystery and huge reveal.

I haven't read the comic so I don't know for a fact where the plot goes after season 1 of the show, but I guarantee it's going to be some "the sins of mankind" bullshit where the titans are actually failed experiments by the asshole government. Eren's father was a doctor working on perfecting the transformation and succeeded with Eren. The armored titan, colossal titan, and MYSTERIOUS BLONDE MARTIAL ARTS USING female titan are part of a group to overthrow the government using the feral titans.

Just like Evangelion, the show is centered entirely around the main character constantly needing pep talks about why he should fight. I think two-third of the show is someone getting pep talk on why they should be dutiful nationalists.

Someone I know posted a summary of the show:


Dude: Hey Eren, can you pass the salt?

Eren (voiceover): Salt... I remember once passing salt to my mother.

(collection of still frame flashbacks)

Eren (voiceover): why... why turn to someone like ME if you want salt?

Armin (voiceover): He's thinking about salt, isn't he? That reminds me of the time I got beat up in the street...

(collection of still frame flashbacks)

Armin (voiceover): I wish I could pass the salt for him. Just once I wish I had the strength to pass the salt shaker...

Mikasa: Eren... do you remember? Do you remember why people sprinkle salt on their food?

Eren: *gasps and dilates his eyes*

Mikasa: Do you remember?

Eren: *angry and defiant* Because it enhances flavor!

to be continued!

*credits*
Air Control: Try the best flight simulation in the history of computer games today!
07/14/14, 01:08

If your game is a shitty broken mess, take the Goat Simulator way out.
Super Mario Bros 2 - All Levels at Once
07/14/14, 00:59

Your mistake was playing as Mario.

Nobody chooses Mario.
Super Mario Bros 2 - All Levels at Once
07/14/14, 00:58

I'm not ashamed to call it my favorite Mario game.
Guillermo del Toro - Special Message about Pacific Rim
06/28/14, 13:57

I was all set to love Pacific Rim in the first 5 minutes when they led you to believe it would be this hyper reality Japanese game show format where mechs murdered monsters on live TV followed by talk shows for the pilots, product endorsements, and kaiju merchandizing. Imagine how fun a Phoenix Wright or Takeshi's Castle version of Godzilla would have been?

All hopes dashed as soon as the movie proper started and the characters began talking. The plot of Independence Day meets all the joyless stupidity of the GI Joe movies. Learning to trust people again? Terminal cancer? Crushing poverty where construction workers get paid in food? Whose brilliant idea was to take such a potentially fun over the top monster movie and give it a serious depressing tone?

A prequel is the best possible way to go. Maybe then they'll go with the fun talk show early days.

I'm looking for a term to use for the phoney douche toughguy types of modern action movies: Chris Hemsworth from the Red Dawn remake, Ryan Reynolds in everything he does, the squad leader army dude from the Transformers movie, etc. "Furrowed brow douche"? "Danzig douche?" "Fronting phoney?"
Operation Wandering Soul
05/25/14, 02:22

It's depressing because we're never going to get a game as good as Generals again. The fans HATED it and so we got the terrible C&C 3 and the unplayable C&C 4.

The next entry is a vaporware free to play game. Seriously :(
Operation Wandering Soul
05/25/14, 02:20

We would have won this thing in a month if only we had discovered the skeleton on a bike gag back then.
FTL: FASTER THAN LIGHT (Zero Punctuation)
05/16/14, 21:39

Yeah this game was fun for a bit until you realized there was only one setup that could kill the boss, then it was just a matter of the random number generator giving you that stuff.

What irked me was the expansion content. Not a single improvement to the game, in fact a lot of it made it worse. Hacker drones are just ion guns, the mind control station is just an annoyance with no defense against it, and the electric pulse hazards just drag fights out forever. The biggest beef though is that instead of fixing the boss, the #1 criticism about the game, they doubled down on it to make it even more annoying. They incorporated all the new annoying systems (mind control) into it, and now it's totally random how close the Federation base starts off to it. You might jump into the final sector with only 3 turns to beat the boss, meaning no time for repairs. Bullshit.
HR Giger's Art in Prometheus
05/14/14, 23:02

FUCK did that movie suck. More Lost style mystery-shotgunning bullshit with the most obnoxiously lazy blue/orange color scheme.
The Tudors- Anne Boleyn gives birth
04/24/14, 00:17

The show is pretty ridiculous for who it tries to portray as the "good" and "bad" guys. Henry's Duke buddy, Thomas More, and Bloody Mary are framed as virtuous. Cromwell and Anne Boleyn are shown as monsters despite their (in-show) actions being far less evil than the "good" character. It passes off every staunch Catholic as a living saint, every Protestant as evil or weaselly, then frequently cuts to the Vatican and Papacy being as corrupt as fuck. What the hell?

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