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Comments
'Eerie, Indiana' - The Loyal Order of Corn
12/14/14, 15:58

So did I and I honestly wish I hadn't.

I don't think the show held up to adult me. Should have kept it as a happy pre-teen memory.
thunderf00t is a disgusting garbage person
12/14/14, 15:51

Cheer up. We're 3 weeks away from flying cars and hover boards!
thunderf00t is a disgusting garbage person
12/14/14, 15:50

There are movies where the main character and villain are women, but I don't think I've ever seen a movie where women make up the disposable element.

Hentai doesn't count.
thunderf00t is a disgusting garbage person
12/14/14, 15:46

Part of the problem is that you really CAN'T have those "male affirming" conversations without being accused of all sorts of horrible things, woman-hating being among the most common. The worst I've seen is tumblr posts calling male prison rape a good thing because otherwise men wouldn't understand the plight of women.
Scholagladiatoria: Star Wars Episode 7 lightsabre longsword excitement and criticism
12/13/14, 21:00

It became an issue because it's the most emblematic giveaway how awful the movie will be (it's Abrams, of course it will be awful).

It shows they've learned nothing from the prequels. The end of Plinkett's Phantom Menace review goes over everything that was wrong with the lightsaber fights and by extension, the entire run of prequels. It was all dumb gimmicks and over-choreographed fights that were devoid of any meaning or emotion. He shows how even the fight between Vader and an elderly Alec Guinness made for a better scene than Darth Maul, or that dumb robot with his twirly lightsaber propeller. The crossguard hints pretty strongly that they're relying on escalating gimmicks again instead of competent storytelling.

And no, I will not see it. Everyone said the same thing with the third prequel or Matrix movie to see how it ended. I had learned my lessons by then, three times shame on me etc etc.

I will bet my entire non-existant mortgage that this won't be any better than the last Star Trek movie.
is this attack on titan? lol :)
12/12/14, 01:00

AoT spoiler:


I was still on board despite the stock characters and filler, as long as they kept the titans as mindless forces of nature. Their enigmatic origin and behavior made them just as scarey as their eating people.

Then they ruined it by going all Battlestar Galatica and making it so there are a bunch of titans disguised as humans. They even tried to make it another "Who could the fourth child be?" type mystery where they acted like the audience didn't figure out who the female titan was the instant she appeared. So one of the most prominent titans is just some laconic chick with major daddy issues...neat?

I'm not too pumped about season 2 because I think I have the entire future plot figured out (never read the manga), because it's just Evangelion again. The titans will turn out to be some super soldier experiment gone awry. Eren's father was on the verge of perfecting the process that stabilizes the transformation, thanks to experimenting on his son. This is why titans die when their nape is slashed; it's where the human nests while in titan form.

The armored and colossal titans are also humans plotting against the government, using the feral titans to do it. I'm guessing that as the story goes on, half the damn cast is going to end up being hidden titans because it's Battlestar Galactica, which means there's going to be a rift and power struggle between the titans where one group wants to subjugate humans while the other wants to coexist.

sleep now
is this attack on titan? lol :)
12/11/14, 19:41

I just saw an anime on Netflix that was mentioned here: Arpeggio of Blue Steel. All I knew was someone saying, "It's like Attack on Titan, but with WWII ships instead of titans."

And for the first 10 minutes, it is! Unmanned sentient warships with advanced technology just appear one day and wipe out the world's navies, setting up a shipping and communication blockade that isolates countries from each other causing globl collapse.

And just like Attack on Titan, it has a cool setup that it totally drops the ball with when it comes to characters and story. Protagonist vows revenge on giants things that keep humanity hemmed in, takes along his friends from the military academy including an emotionless girl who exists only to serve him.

Maximum Overdrive with battleships! How do you fuck that up? By having each ship's brain take the form of stock anime lolis. MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE WITH BATTLESHIPS and they turn it into a wacky hijinks harem anime.

Fuck you, Japan.
Trailer: Terminator Genisys
12/06/14, 21:44

Most of my reviews are short and lazy. It takes something really bad like Salvation for me to write anything of length.
Trailer: Terminator Genisys
12/06/14, 05:14

Found it!

http://www.caltrops.com/pointy.php?action=viewPost&pid=137646
illegal aliens cross the border and make anchor babies. WTF!!!
12/06/14, 00:23

Who knew racism and Garry's Mod went so well together?
Let's play: Jerry's Place
12/06/14, 00:11

STOP CONSTANTLY TITLING YOUR HEAD LIKE YOU'RE THE REACTION SHOT DOG IN A ROM COM!
Trailer: Terminator Genisys
12/05/14, 20:24

It's awful how they finally went with a 100% future war movie and botched it so badly.

Terminator Salvation was one of those movies that was bad the first time you watched it, but you didn't realize HOW bad it was until you thought of it later. I wish my old review on poe-news was still around. Basically it seemed like it had 2 sets of writers who had no clue what they were doing. One guy thought he was making Transformers 3, the other thought he was doing Blackhawk Down 2. This was most obvious when they constantly had scenes showing that the machines immediately homed in on loud noises and heat sources like fire, then immediately followed it with scenes of people sitting around outdoor bonfires at night.

"And then the robot snakes jump out of the river to attack the helicopter" is up there with "and then the peanut butter rats explode" from Wanted from script moments that should immediately tell you your movie went wrong.
Trailer: Terminator Genisys
12/05/14, 20:02

Yeah, I'm amazed anyone has kind words for T3's ending. Bleak nihilism and magical Diabolus Ex Machina do not automatically make your writing clever. In fact it makes you a shitty Outer Limits episode (the 90s remake).
Trailer: Terminator Genisys
12/05/14, 19:59

What the hell happened with movie costs? This movie's budget is $170 million and looks terrible. For comparison, Terminator 2's budget adjusted for inflation was $180 million. Going back further to the movie that STILL looks the best (eyeball surgery mannequin scene excluded), the original was made for a paltry $13 million (adjusted). I doubt Arnold's salary is higher than it was in 1990.
Attack on Titan Vore Extravaganza
12/05/14, 19:24

My favorite filler episode was the one where they had a cannon fired at them, and then a solid HALF HOUR was waiting for the smoke to clear while they psyched up Armen by giving him a pep talk, so that he could give the soldiers a pep talk, so that a general could give the soldier's officer a pep talk.
Attack on Titan Vore Extravaganza
12/05/14, 06:50

Oh my god the comments.

You have the author, "The Amazing Vidya Dog". Then there's people arguing the various degrees of autism with a troll named Sieg Heil.

Finally, there's my favorite...

TheKayasto
8 months ago

It's clear no masturbation was even going on because the sound was added after. Why the fuck else can you hear it with the AoT theme? If it wasn't added after, the theme would drown it out.
Also I really hope you kill yourself because you clearly live off welfare and I would like it if my money wasn't being spent on inbred mentally sick fucks like you. Stop being lazy and go get a job you god damned faggot.

Also please tag me in the post you make about this on tumblr so I can laugh at you there too.
Attack on Titan Vore Extravaganza
12/05/14, 04:39

Worst of all is its heavy reliance on still pictures. I'm not talking the usual anime routine of characters standing still, but literal still pictures with panning effects and motion lines. It'd be a decent action series (with a crap plot) if it actually had a budget and they handed it over to someone who could choreograph and anime a fight scene like the Last Airbender people.

Military nationalism in anime is hardly new. Have we forgotten Starblazers so quickly?
Attack on Titan Vore Extravaganza
12/05/14, 01:02

Reposting my comment from the last AoT discussion:


It's a show where the setup is a lot cooler than anything the writers actually do with it.

Funny you should mention Evangelion twists, because the "OMG WHO COULD THAT TITAN BE?" non-mystery reminded me of the "OMG WHO IS THE FOURTH CHILD?" bit from Eva. You knew immediately who the BLONDE FEMALE MARTIAL ARTS USING titan was the instant it showed up but the show went on for half a dozen episodes acting like it was a total mystery and huge reveal.

I haven't read the comic so I don't know for a fact where the plot goes after season 1 of the show, but I guarantee it's going to be some "the sins of mankind" bullshit where the titans are actually failed experiments by the asshole government. Eren's father was a doctor working on perfecting the transformation and succeeded with Eren. The armored titan, colossal titan, and MYSTERIOUS BLONDE MARTIAL ARTS USING female titan are part of a group to overthrow the government using the feral titans.

Just like Evangelion, the show is centered entirely around the main character constantly needing pep talks about why he should fight. I think two-third of the show is someone getting pep talk on why they should be dutiful nationalists.

Someone I know posted a summary of the show:


Dude: Hey Eren, can you pass the salt?

Eren (voiceover): Salt... I remember once passing salt to my mother.

(collection of still frame flashbacks)

Eren (voiceover): why... why turn to someone like ME if you want salt?

Armin (voiceover): He's thinking about salt, isn't he? That reminds me of the time I got beat up in the street...

(collection of still frame flashbacks)

Armin (voiceover): I wish I could pass the salt for him. Just once I wish I had the strength to pass the salt shaker...

Mikasa: Eren... do you remember? Do you remember why people sprinkle salt on their food?

Eren: *gasps and dilates his eyes*

Mikasa: Do you remember?

Eren: *angry and defiant* Because it enhances flavor!

to be continued!

*credits*
Shameless USA - Karen at the Purity Ball
12/04/14, 05:47

Seems like every premium channel series falls into a comedy centering around a lovable fuckup (Californication, Shameless) or a ruthless asshole's struggle for power (Sopranos, Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones).

This reminds me of a dirtier Arrested Development. The only problem is when they focus on characters that aren't the Gallaghers. The Gallaghers are a mostly believable family of trashy fuckups running all sorts of schemes to get by. All the Not Gallaghers are cartoons that reek of trying too hard. For every scene of William Macy bribing a 12 year old with a joint to punch his grandchild so he can step in and look the hero to his mother, there's terrible scenes of the annoying neighbor couple shooting gimp porn or having a kid through the wife's mother. Then there's the really awful cartoon characters like this girl who gets off on blowing boys under the table while they read science text books and her parents are in the room, the crazy family friend who thinks she's an Indian shaman, the nympho college roommate who's a cartoon control freak, the nympho pedophile who rubs Nair on a guy's dick before eating peanut butter off of it, and...jesus I just realized how they lean on "crazy nympho" for 90% of the women side characters.

Show is worth watching if you fast forward through all the Not Gallagher scenes.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens Official Teaser Trailer #1
11/28/14, 18:13

He turned Star Trek into Transformers. All he did was swap robots with space ships.


Begin story with flashback to protagonist's dead (great-grand) father discovering the villain.

Flash forward to fuckup protagonist who thinks a new ride will help him score the hot chick he met.

Military decimated by villain's advanced technology.

Learn that the villain and good alien are refugees from dead worlds. The villain seeks to harness the power of a spherical device capable of salvation or destruction.

Protagonist enacts his plan of running around shouting NO NO NONONONONONONONONO and yo mama jokes.

Villain is defeated by ramming the spherical device into them.

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