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Comments
Otakon 2013 - Aspergers and Fandom Panel
08/22/13, 12:30

Fun/sad fact: the #1 contributor to the Homestuck kickstarter was Howard "bowtie" Phillips of Nintendo fame.
5th degree black belt test
08/20/13, 00:47

Martial arts classes are like Boy Scouts. It's a place to dump your kids for some harmless activity but holy crap does it get sad if you stick with it past 10.
Sebacious Cyst & Keratin
08/20/13, 00:43

The best part: related videos are 11 more cyst poppings plus one human birth!
Out For A Walk | The Man with the 132-Pound Scrotum
08/20/13, 00:39

This is the comment everyone was racing to make.
1v1 on garden of war song
08/19/13, 23:14

I busted out an old boardgame recently that I hadn't played in forever and found a notepad we had used for score keeping.

It was the notepad that came with Warcraft 1 o_O
Scott Walker is Still a Steaming Pile of Filth
08/19/13, 22:51

I will gladly punch back anyone childish enough to think that because one candidate in one office didn't hand deliver them a their own personal unicorn, everyone should give up on democracy forever.

Bring it
1v1 on garden of war song
08/19/13, 12:06

Man did they shit up the HoMM games after 3.

4 was an ugly mess from the days where developers insisted on making the jump from sprites to 3D no matter how bad it looked. Having heroes as units also made the whole creature aspect useless.

5's campaign was terrible. Painful Warcraft 3 story, AI that never attacked, and overdoing neutral monsters to the point where you spent 95% of the game fighting them instead of other players. Multiplayer was broken, virtually non-functional.

6, I swear the whole thing started out as a Facebook game. Loading screens featured the Windows 7 swirly. Every screen was loaded with a dozen social media tie ins. Cities were reduced to a tiny postage stamp sized grainy picture (that looked like something out of the early FMV days) of just the town hall, no joy of seeing cities growing with new buildings. Hero development became needlessly complicated. You were forced to reload battles if you lost even a single creature (forcing every hero to take the heal spells) because every mission was designed to periodically spawn enemy armies (not based on enemy town production) that could only be defeated if you gathered and retained every possible creature.


Fuck they fucked that series up. The whole appeal was a simple, aesthetically pleasing strategy game and they made it complicated and ugly.
Scott Walker is Still a Steaming Pile of Filth
08/19/13, 11:14

There's a little Ernst Rohm in every brownshirt (there is so much to go around).
Scott Walker is Still a Steaming Pile of Filth
08/19/13, 11:13

This is why it is everyone's civic duty to punch any young person in the face who thinks they're too cool to vote because both sides are the same, maaaaaaayun.
Harry Knowles needs 100k to film an unwatchable web series
08/14/13, 02:22

Goddamn this shit is FREE MONEY.

Come on, POETV. Time to start braintrusting our own kickstarter idea before dotcom bubble 2.0 hits.
Harry Knowles needs 100k to film an unwatchable web series
08/13/13, 22:52

Even with games, it seems like the likelihood of a decent finished product seeing the light of day is inversely proportional to the size of the maker's existing fan base. Schafer isn't going to create anything without triple the initial budget and schedule, and I'll eat a shoe if Richard Garriot or Chris Roberts' MMO opuses ever materialize.
Breaking Bad - Badger's Star Trek Script
08/13/13, 22:47

Not any worse than the Abrams remake.

"Yo yo, check. It's Wrath of Kahn but like it starts with Kirk's dad gettin wasted, yo, and his mom's squirtin out Kirk like a photon torpedo while there's all the fire and explosions and shit. Then there's some Ferraris and Kirk's macking on this chick at a bar and she's tellin him to go to school and shit but school's for fags so we skip over that part. Then everyone's running around all like "9/11! 9/11!" and they have to give Kirk space measles so his blow up all puffy and shit. Spock's mom gets wasted and Kirk's like "yo mama" and Spock loses his shit and they fight then they fight the other guy and the bosses are like it's cool bro here are the keys ship's yours."
Patrice O'neal Vs. Workaholics
08/12/13, 04:41

I'm not debating that Anthony isn't the worst (Opie is merely bland), but Patrice is great.

What should an interviewer expect when he comes at a roaster of all people with such a phoney lame act? "Hey dude, kinda sort whatever I dunno, man. You gonna kidnap one of these girls? They are covered in powdered makeup, which looks like cocaine. Lots of celebrities do cocaine!"

He even gave the guy a second a chance saying he'll do the interview just drop the act, and the tool doubled down on the act.
Kevin Smith Discusses Clerks 3 @ Comic Con
08/11/13, 22:52

Clerks came out at exactly the right time. It was most people's first exposure to post modern observational humor right when it was starting to form but before the internet made it common place.
Hemlock Grove- Werewolf Transformation
08/09/13, 07:00

Noir is more than mood. It's about the protagonist probing the seedy underbelly in his quest for truth.

None of that happens for 7 straight hours out of this 13 hour series. Someone has a dream sequence. You find out two characters had an old affair. Two people hook up and that's about it. 7 hours.

You never find out what the heck Roman is supposed to be (they stuck with classic werewolf lore but had to make up a bunch of new stuff and names for vampires?) and his investigation with Peter is always stalled for their bromance and homoerotic jealously. Whole episodes are devoted to gathering ingredients for vision quests that do nothing. The psychiatrist and mother's affair amounts to nothing. Dee from Battlestar Galactica eats up half the season's running time, affects nothing, then goes away.

If anyone wants to check this show out, I strongly recommend skipping episodes 4-10. You won't miss a thing.
Conan Catches Jordan Schlansky Coming In Late
08/08/13, 02:24

He's not that far off from your average foodie.
Pauly Shore's Adopted - Official Trailer
08/08/13, 02:20

Just because he's creative career is trapped in a bubble, doesn't mean he still can't cause trouble.
Hemlock Grove- Werewolf Transformation
08/08/13, 02:13

The monkey paw grants your wish and makes tv shows start cranking out sound-a-like version of Inceptions DAAAAAAAA...DAAAAAAAA theme instead.
Final Fantasy X-2, the pop concert that saved the world.
08/08/13, 02:08

Even for the people that liked the basic idea of the card game were given the finger by THOSE FUCKING RULES you couldn't control.
Final Fantasy X-2, the pop concert that saved the world.
08/07/13, 21:50

Don't forget to mention that they decide to hold this concert in the middle of the place you had to dodge all the lightning bolts in FFX.

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