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Comments
'Another world' creator plays through it all
07/23/13, 19:40

This game was brilliant.

Except for the GODAWFUL cave sequence. The rest of the game was an awesome beautiful alien world with tense chase sequences, puzzles, and minimalist plot without dialog. Then for some reason this guy thought that a full one-third of the game should ditch all that and take place in a boring cave with the most frustrating jump sequences in the game with zero save checkpoints for the whole thing.

He made another similar game called oN Escape or something . Unfortunately it sticks you in an even more frustrating cave level (giant maze) right off the bat so I quit 10 minutes in.
Viscera Cleanup Detail
07/12/13, 17:22

Content in the knowledge that the guy playing Doom 3 isn't having any more fun than you.
'Spider' Yelling At One Of His 'Wives'
07/12/13, 16:19

Don't forget ratty trenchcoat neckbeards hoping to score desperate Smith girls.
Rich hipster dorks go on a 'wilderness expedition', pretend they're 'roughing it'.
07/09/13, 01:57

But have you worked in a HIPSTER thrift store/coffee shop? Most of them work about 15 hours a week before going off on parent funded "adventures" like these.
NSA Recruitment Drive at University of Wisconsin
07/08/13, 16:28

It doesn't have to be false to be a smear campaign. The only relevant strike against Snowden would be if he made the whole thing up. The NSA's reaction proves this to not be the case.

You and baleen are the Joan Rivers of civil liberties debate.
Rich hipster dorks go on a 'wilderness expedition', pretend they're 'roughing it'.
07/08/13, 16:13

This reminds me of the terrible "Nacho" kickstarter.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2035797765/drive-nacho-drive-china-and-the-silk-road-by-volks

2 self absorbed white people decide to buy a 200,000 mile van without knowing how cars work and drive it around the world. They really want to go to India, but they're shit planners and driving through Pakistan is too scary so they ask for $20k as to not inconvenience their vacation. They'll send you an e-book!
Teen on bath salts
07/05/13, 01:27

Awwwww, I was disappointed to discover this was a car accident.

I wish I had just stuck to the first 25 seconds, chalking up the destroyed storage unit to a bath salts fueled recreation of the gas station scene from It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad World.
Captain America's shield
07/04/13, 20:59

The whole Captain America movie should have been about the emasculating USO duty.
The First Amendment is Being Eradicated by Texas
07/04/13, 20:56

The weird part is it used to be the other way around. DotA 2 and HoN were home to the old diehard DotA players who were the typical massive assholes you'd expect from the kind of people still giving a shit about a 7+ year old video game (think Counter Strike players). LoL was the game where all the casual players went. Sure it was still toxic, but it was a grand canyon difference between the two. HoN/DotA 2 would start screeching at you right at character selection while LoL players would at least wait for the game to start before you were a faggot.

Then something weird happened. For some reason it completely swapped. LoL is now screecher territory while DotA 2 is pretty chill.

I think it happened around the time the makers really started pushing LoL as an "e-sport". Everyone started watching tournament streams and suddenly everyone was an expert who screeched if you didn't follow the "current meta". In an unranked game at the bottom 10% of players? Doesn't matter, the screechers will still be on you.

It's like going to a local pickup basketball game where everyone is "that guy" who rags on anyone not wearing $300 Air Jordans.
Ed -- A Petition For Stronger Gun Laws
06/29/13, 19:00

Arguing and debating with solid points has been countless times, but it's a giant waste trying to reason with gun nuts. You always fall back on your Deathwish fantasy that dark skinned barbarians would overwhelm and rape your women if your guns are taken away. Or you pull made up statistics and conclusions about the UK along the exact same lines that shills use to argue against universal healthcare.

It was pointless reasoning with hick bigots regarding slavery, so we had to make them feel inadequate and foolish, the only thing reactionaries understand. It is pointless reasoning with hick gun nuts, so we have to make them feel inadequate and foolish about their needle dick, needle dick.
Kickstopper: A Campaign to Kill Your Kickstarter
06/22/13, 19:50

With the rise of perma-temping, paid vacations are next on the list.
A PUA kickstarter that somehow got funded
06/22/13, 19:49

Given how 99% of Kickstarter is bilking money from people who don't deserve it, a PUA kickstarter only seemed natural.
Enterprise: In a Mirror Darkly
06/22/13, 18:12

I thought the tech was the one thing they got right. They were faced with the impossible task of portraying more primitive technology than shown in the cheesy sets and 40 year old special effects of the original series. At no point were there any Star Wars prequel groaners (as far as I could tell).

I had a higher opinion of the show when it was on since I just happened to tune in to two of the better episodes: the creepy automated repair station and the one where they had to trick the enemy captive into telling them the location of a base.

When it came on Netflix last year I gave it a shot. Holy shit. Barely made it to the end of the pilot. Captain Archer had all the whiney impatient recklessness of a toddler.
Enterprise: In a Mirror Darkly
06/22/13, 18:06

He loved it but was allergic! The entire episode's subplot was them trying to secretly find out his favorite food for his birthday. After several wacky failures, the doctor unethically divulged his medical history, that he took injections for his allergy so he could eat pineapple. So yeah, they broke doctor/patient confidentiality...for a cake.

That was half an episode.
Game of Thrones: Realtime Reaction to 'The Red Wedding'
06/16/13, 12:44

^the life of your average Game of Thrones fan
The Red Wedding Princess Bride
06/16/13, 12:20

Series (book and show) should have ended here. A big THE END after Kate slumps.
FINAL FANTASY XV - Battle Gameplay
06/14/13, 01:33

But that's the thing. FFX was different in that it HAD all the pieces in place for the underpinnings you're talking about.

But the characters themselves were just so terrible that you didn't give a fuck. Add in the pacing and all the filler crap and the end result still sucked.

My point though is that even though FFX ultimately sucked, you never saw anything close to basic story structure in any of the later games.
FINAL FANTASY XV - Battle Gameplay
06/13/13, 20:17

The music quality downgrade sucks. I still remember all the music from the older FFs I haven't touched in over a decade. I think FF7 was the last soundtrack I remembered. I can only remember one song from 8 (only because it was in the trailer), two songs from 10 (it's hard to forget the Rob Zombie knockoff), and absolutely nothing from anything else. I think Xenogears was the last Square game with consistently memorable music.
FINAL FANTASY XV - Battle Gameplay
06/13/13, 20:02

I've always wanted to be a fly on the wall in the writing room for all the modern Final Fantasy games. To hear someone go, "Okay, it's a shot for shot recreation of Star Wars, but with two useless main characters." Or "It's about gods who force mortals to do their bidding, except none of it makes sense, is self-contradictory, and has zero actual bearing on the story. Also there is no story."

What's really weird though is they actually had a functioning story for X. Like it actually had a solid theme: the old making way for the new. Not only that, it carried that theme through multi levels of conflict: external (giant monster causing suffering via an endless cycle started by ancestors + ghost rulers who refused to die and pass on), personal (Tidus chastising Yuna for killing herself to end the cycle then finding out that he's a holdover memory who has to do the same), and internal (breaking out of your father's shadow).

So someone had an idea of elements that an actual working story contained, but then they went and fucked it up with the usual annoying jrpg stock characters. What's weird though is you never saw another game that anything close to that kind of understanding of story. What happened to that guy? Did they fire him? Was it an intern?
Daily Show: New York's Bike Sharing Program
06/13/13, 19:53

I recently looked into my city's shared bike rental program. It was a tad pricey at $20/month, and I was about to go for it when I found out that they charged you extra if you kept it out over half an hour where they started charging you exponentially more. Something like $5 for 2 hours, $60 for 4, then $100 for 6, and if you kept it over 24 they charged a whopping ONE THOUSAND dollars to your credit card.

Insanity. It's cheaper to rent a car. Fuck that, it's cheaper to rent a limo than it is to rent a goddamn bicycle. I'm convinced these kind of programs only exist for two reasons: to bilk clueless tourists and to bilk the city through subsidy programs.

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