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Comments
MST3K Does 'Hamlet'
04/14/12, 20:09

There's about ten billion episodes on Netflix Instant.
MST3K Does 'Hamlet'
04/14/12, 20:06

Now that I think about it, Girl in the Gold boots and Overdrawn at the Memory Bank. I think there were a lot of good jokes in there, but the movies were SO BAD.

Overdrawn just kept going. It was like watching the drawn out parts of 2001 without Kubrick's talent.
The Worlds Most Dedicated Traffic Cop
04/14/12, 20:03

It's just a taser.
MST3K Does 'Hamlet'
04/14/12, 02:12

Mine was Girl in the Gold Boots.
Russian gynecologist destroys car dealership with his Nissan
04/14/12, 02:10

Customer pressures you!
Obama Attack Ad - Happy Birthday, Romneycare!
04/14/12, 02:05

Bort is right.

The rest are Daily Show Democrat dumb.
Twisted Metal (2012) - Dollface Ending
04/13/12, 08:39

I got a sinking feeling as I read more and more Jaffe interviews before this game came out. Everything coming out of his mouth sounded like the opposite of what made Twisted Metal fun combined with him carrying over all the wrong lessons from God of War (the very first gameplay video was a giant puzzle boss fight with scripted environment objects damaging it).

The point of no return was when he said they were concentrating on multiplayer and how it was a good thing to make players who die sit out the rest of the round like Counterstrike because "it forces players to be more conservative and strategic". Exactly the two words people want to hear when it comes to a Twisted Metal game.
Twisted Metal (2012) - Dollface Ending
04/13/12, 08:34

To be fair, most of Black's endings were WHAT A TWIST!

All style no substance you mean? That's kind of how I would describe Black. Yeah it was an awesome boost in graphics for the time (real time weapon change!) and there was crazy stuff like a dude impaled on your car and rampaging ferris wheels, but the actual gameplay was a huge step down from Twisted Metal 2 (which is still the highmark for car combat games).

I think the only reason it got any props was the style (the story presentations were cool) and the fact that ANYTHING would look good after the atrocious third and fourth games.


(Calypso was someone who sold his soul to Satan for power, not Satan himself. GAWD)
How to get off a bus in Romania
04/13/12, 08:24

Of COURSE there's a baby stroller.
Twisted Metal (2012) - Dollface Ending
04/12/12, 23:13

This game lost me as soon as I saw there were only 3 playable characters for the single player game, everyone is now a Juggalo, the return of multi-stage puzzle boss fights, and RACING missions.
Star Trek Voyager Frasier Cast
04/10/12, 23:02

Nemesis was only the phenomena that finished off an ailing patient.
Star Trek Voyager Frasier Cast
04/10/12, 15:46

Would have made a fine Scrubs episode.
The Little Mermaid (1968)
04/06/12, 19:13

That's my job.
First Four Minutes of Iron Sky
04/06/12, 16:33

Is this actually getting made or is it another funding grab?
Captain America at a rally celebrating Bin Laden's death
04/06/12, 16:08

Jesus when did this place get infested by so many chicken hawks.
Seven and a half minutes of early 80's CGI
04/06/12, 15:54

bewwwwwwwwwwwuuuuuuuuuu!
Games of Thrones in Minecraft
04/06/12, 15:19

another point on Dune: I think its popularity has a lot to do with being kind of a sci-fi nerd's introduction to conversational subtext. The thought narration underlines what is some smartly and subtlety veiled dialog as characters steer innocent conversation around deadly points. Take the scene with Paul's family trying to out Harkonnen agents during dinner.

Game of Thrones often tries this. What you get there is two characters figuratively eyeing the throne, literally eyeing the throne, warily eyeing each other, having the following conversation:

"Many have died to sit on that throne."

"Hmmm yes it is a very dangerous game to be playing one should be careful!"
Games of Thrones in Minecraft
04/06/12, 15:05

Memedumpster pretty much nailed it. Mothership discovers how rabidly angry GoT fans can get when you point out it isn't Shakespeare, or even Herbert.

Dune is a complex tale of medieval/sci-fi/fantasy political maneuvering. The Harkonnen gladiator games scene alone has about half a dozen intertwining power struggles going on.

Game of Thrones is barely above an NC-17 Dragonlance novel.

SPOILERS

I had to check online to see if the first book ended on Stark's death. There was so little actual plot in the first season that I assumed some producer arbitrarily set "Sean Bean dies" as the dramatic finale point and the writers had to cram in a ton of filler to pad the rest out. The entire season could have been done in 3 or 4 episodes tops.

The whole thing is full of redundant scenes that do nothing to advance the plot or reveal anything new. They literally spend almost 3 entire episodes on the king and Sean Bean on the road swapping old skirt-chasing stories. The story should have started with Sean Bean leaving his family and arriving at the capital in under 5 minutes.

So the whole political plot is the queen fucks her brother and her king thinks their son is his. The big mystery Sean Bean digs up is a genealogy books that says 3 generations of men in the king's family all had black hair (why the king himself cannot remember this is not clear). Sean Bean immediately concludes that the prince in the queen's incest child and gives her one day to clear out before the king kills her. The king just happens to die in a freak hunting accident that afternoon and wills Sean Bean to run things until the prince is old enough.

The queen jumps the gun and says the prince is king NOW. Sean Bean says "nuh uh". The queen says "nuh uh". The prince's father is revealed and no one cares. The soldiers - provided by the guy who told Sean Bean not to trust him - turn on Sean Bean. He shouldn't have trusted him!

So the whole intrigue of the first season was a book about hair color drawing a sketchy line to incest that nobody cares about anyway. The main character dies for adhering to two technicalities nobody cares about. A war breaks out over the prince taking power a couple years early. That's it.

It could have been decent if it was framed as how ludicrous the whole war was, or if the war itself was interesting. But the entire season is taken up by nothing but a pornographic mystery investigation that would have embarrassed Scooby Doo writers.
David Lynch - 'Crazy Clown Time'
04/06/12, 01:51

Silent Hill straight up lifted several images from Jacob's Ladder.
Kinect Star Wars - Empire Today
04/04/12, 23:01

I'm amazed someone managed to make a "pure" original trilogy license product. Usually everyone is forced to shoe horn in prequel crap.

This looks fun.

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