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Comments
Michael Douglas straps on a VR headset to access some files
01/16/12, 22:24

It might not seem it, but I always hold this up as one of the most 90s movies ever made. You have the early 90s VR obsession combined with the height of PC backlash with a poor white male being ridiculed for accusing a woman of sexual harassment.
Warcraft 3- Ending
01/16/12, 22:22

We've all been there.
Enhance!
01/16/12, 22:21

parody
Warcraft 3- Ending
01/16/12, 20:33

This probably should have been with Disappointing game endings week (along with Star Control 3).
Onion : How facebook and Twitter can help you keep in touch with your kids.
01/16/12, 20:32

Tweets were a couple stars, but these Onion bits are always C materials.
Comic Book Greats with Stan Lee: Rob Liefeld Part 1
01/16/12, 18:56

Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

No, your other one.

Not that, the one above it.

No next to that one.
Starcraft 2- BIG IMPORTANT SPEECH
01/16/12, 18:54

Remember when Starcraft was just fun rednecks in space, working for the awesome overmind, and telling Protoss leaders to eat a dick?
Starcraft 2- BIG IMPORTANT SPEECH
01/16/12, 18:53

^SC2 balance worse
Starcraft 2- BIG IMPORTANT SPEECH
01/16/12, 18:53

SC1 balance is a lot worse than SC1. They've basically admitting this by using the expansion to just change it back to SC1.
Comic Book Greats with Stan Lee: Rob Liefeld Part 1
01/16/12, 10:54

Even when I was 10 and couldn't even trace Garfield comics right, I knew Liefeld's art was garbage.
Warcraft 3 Undead Ending
01/16/12, 10:47

Every cutscene in the game was like this.

"Oh look, something interesting is about to happen. Better cut away to its shadow."
Diablo 3 intro cinematic
01/15/12, 22:06

(though that doesn't explain why Hellgate London was such an abortion)
Diablo 3 intro cinematic
01/15/12, 18:23

I remember when I was 14 after Warcraft 1 I typed up a letter with sequel suggestions and mailed it to them. I actually got a non-form letter back from them in specific reply to the (god awful) stuff I wrote. That was pretty neat!

It sounds like Bill Roper was responsible for the old fun clowning around Blizzard. Then Kris Metzen climbed the ladder and turned everything to shit.
Rescuing a yellow lab from icy river
01/15/12, 14:53

You don't want to throw them straight into a hot tub (the best bet is lukewarm or room temperature water), but you also don't want to dump them in the fucking snow where they're still losing body heat. Doing that is like taking a smoke inhalation victim out of a burning building and dumping them into a Bangkok airport lounge. Technically an improvement but still nowhere close to the next recovery step.

The only thing I can think of is that the rescue workers weren't willing or qualified to handle animals so they left it to the animal control officer who wasn't qualified for rescues or first aid. Then common sense left all of them as they dumped a freezing victim right onto the snow.
Diablo 3 intro cinematic
01/15/12, 14:28

I can't imagine the ego of the head Blizzard programmers that they still insist on writing all the plots themselves instead of hiring an actual writer for peanuts, just like every other game company has for the past 6 or more years.

Listening to "programmer humor" when you click on units gives me the exact same outdated feeling as watching Duke Nukem Forever videos.
Diablo 3 intro cinematic
01/15/12, 14:25

oops, yeah what Corpus said. The original Starcraft kept it at a simple, effective space adventure plot tying together a game ordering dudes around.

Every...single...thing Blizzard has written since then is some thinly veiled COMMENTARY where the bad guys are really the good guys and vice versa because the good guys have been corrupted by the Gu'Krack'Dom'um chaos taint of the netherfel. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it turns out Diablo just wanted to deliver puppies to children before the evil tainted allegory for the catholic church imprisoned him.


(the demon hunter preview is also a good example of empty cliche dialog. YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE!)
Diablo 3 intro cinematic
01/15/12, 14:18

As someone else put it:

Diablo 2- Broken man in a mental asylum crying in his own piss and filth as he has nightmares about the time he saw an entire building of people butchered by denizens from hell.

Diablo 3- A young woman falls asleep while her uncle reads a book. Some comet we know nothing about falls and does nothing obvious of consequence.


The raven watching the fiery meteor fall is not to be confused with the raven in the Warcraft 3 intro watching a fiery meteor fall.


Blizzard writing is like fourth generation cliche regurgitation to the point where you can't even distinguish kernels of corn in the turd anymore.
Rescuing a yellow lab from icy river
01/15/12, 02:31

These were professionals?

-Send most clueless member after dog

-Dump dog on snow and wait instead of just carrying him back to heated vehicle

- Leave front paws in snow while they wait some more

- Make sure all the snow is on the inside of the blanket before wrapping him up to carry
I Poop on Perps - Stasi Artificially Inflates Gas Prices in the U.S.
01/13/12, 22:32

That show wasn't a major influence on them? Have you seen this guy's username?
I Poop on Perps - Stasi Artificially Inflates Gas Prices in the U.S.
01/13/12, 15:59

I recently got into rewatching X-files.

My god the conspiracy episodes are awful garbage. It's all the non-resolution of Lost, except the mysteries aren't even interesting to begin with.

Then there's the hindsight that it would lead to truthers and all the other insufferable conspiracy theorists.

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