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Five stars for being one of the more affecting zombie movies I've seen. Great use of sound (and lack thereof).
|I! Am! Your Singing Telegram!|
This was my favorite movie as a kid.
|Douchebag pianist claims he is the only person capable of playing Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody #2|
I am not sure if I can say "fuck you" loudly and angrily enough, so I will just let Murray Perahia do it.
I want to shoot myself into the sun just for having seen that. Christ.
|Cena_mark admits defeat|
OH GOD I was not prepared for the first couple seconds of that video. I mean, I saw the preload image, but fuuuuuck.
This is incredible and awesome, but minus one star for that terror.
|Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage|
|Unbelievable S.T.A.L.K.E.R. car glitch|
It sounds like my KitchenAid.
|I.M. Meen - Opening|
If you try to replicate any of these motions, even on a small scale, it makes no goddamn sense. It's like they had to animate the entire thing in one go without a storyboard and with a different person drawing every frame.
I want to learn how to do the dance from 0:22 - 0:31.
|Lazytown, with special guest star Lil Jon|
|target women-chick flicks|
Colin Firth played Mr. Darcy in the original miniseries. Coincidence? No fucking way.
I SAW THIS MOVIE. A really good friend wanted to go and I admit I kind of wanted to go too; it kinda looked like it would be "so awful it's hilarious" territory.
I do not know how to articulate how unbelievably terrible this movie was. Even setting aside the subject matter, plot, dialogue, etc: HOLY SHIT THIS IS BAD. Every movie I have ever seen is at least somehow more competent than this. The movie itself seems to have been made on meth, cutting and jumping so fast it makes "Law and Order" look like a nature documentary. Kristen Stewart also seems to be on meth; she blinks and squirms and sounds completely comatose even when she's swearing to love the guy forever and ever. The soundtrack is on meth. This movie is an ode to meth. This movie might actually be made of meth. Doing meth in every orifice would have been better than this movie.
Okay, I got sidetracked. So let's forget about special effects that would've been cringeworthy in high school, and a plot no one can follow even if you've read the books (I hadn't, but my friend had, and she couldn't explain half of what was going on). Here is the weird part: the main characters have no chemistry. This is a teen romance vampire novel and it's not sexy. It's not even interesting. I think this is the first movie I've ever seen where hormonal teenage leads playing star-crossed lovers have about as much romantic spark as immediate relations. They seriously do not seem to give a shit about each other. It is fucking surreal.
I know nobody is going to read this but I have to vent somewhere about how INSANELY FUCKING AWFUL THIS MOVIE WAS. I would give this five stars but have to subtract two for the hours of numbing depression that followed the movie. I saw "I Know Who Killed Me" and that piece of shit is a fucking masterpiece compared to this. RT reviews are not doing it justice---this is SO GODDAMN BAD YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW. The fact that this movie has not precipitated the Apocalypse is some kind of fucking miracle. I just. I can't. I I I.
I'm all better now.
|Big Al: TRUE FORCED LONELINESS EDITION|
Nobody ever cared about looks, money or power before now? Well, okay. Like TeenerTot said, it's amazing how anybody thinks shit like this is revolutionary and genius.
Five stars for the Britney Spears comment. Well...
|Old Folks Playhouse - ''Alcoholism'|
Why do you think you are nuts?
|Lance Henriksen has one simple request|
I love the face of the guy at the end. "Hmmm...yeah, that's doable."
|Gaming in the Clinton Years: SNES montage|
"Somebody please turn this game into a movie"? Illusion of Gaia made Final Fantasy IV look like War and Peace. I loved IoG, but that was the most goddamn confusing and insane things I have ever played.
|Bratz Babyz 'Ready or not'|
I'm not ready, that's for fucking sure.
I always felt that way as a kid! The Beast is the exact same kind of douche, only uglier. Belle's taste is nothing if not suspect.
"I'm especially good at expeeeeeeeectorating!" is one of the most bizarre and hilarious lines I have ever heard in a Disney movie. Also, wow preload image.
|target women-birth control|
The menstrual cycle is a period of nonstop physical and emotional devastation that cannot be managed without the help of creepy condescending drugs!
I think I have seen maybe one ad that markets birth control as, you know, actual birth control, and even then it was in really vague "uh um well what if stuff happens?" terms. Women can't handle honesty, you know.
|Sarah Palin wants Americans to trust their media|
A stinking basket of apples. Okay.
|A couple of birds|
My parakeets learned to flip over their baths onto my rug. They are smart as hell but also seem to have intense ADD. And rage issues.