j lzrd / swift idiot
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| Comments |
The Origin of Life - Abiogenesis
06/29/08, 16:11
Stop getting wasted, and stop being an apologist for the Faithful, crypt, and for the love of humanity, stop doing what the I.D. people are trying to build into the collective consciousness: that we should compare the idea that GOD™ sneezed out the Universe, as opposed to the well-documented, more-than-highly-probable theory that the Universe began with a fucking explosion. WHY it began with an explosion around FIFTEEN BILLION OR SO GODDAMN YEARS AGO (to put it in terms a human mind can barely grasp by the fingernails) is a question which very smart and educated and well-paid people (Thank The Lord Humanity, Amen) are trying to answer.
YOU, are comparing current computer models of how the universe began, when the Grand Unified Force divided into its current four constituent parts, and various other brilliant modern day miracles that would make Isaac Newton and Galileo and even Einstein cry tears of joy, to... fuck it, I'm not going to get Bible History on your ass this time.
THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT, WHAT YOU DID THERE!! That is exactly what the I.D. people want; for us to think that just because busy guys in white labcoats with the FERMI-lab in France haven't calculated the home address of GOD™ yet, then WELL!! THE BIBLE® (TRADEMARK OF GOD™ & CO, LTD.) MUST BE JUST AS VALID.
NO!! STOP THAT!
I ain't callin' you out on this or anything, you're well spoken. Even after reading that TL;DR spiel, the first micro-¶ you wrote should suffice.
There is an Empty Throne, a throne we built when we were very young animals. Now, we're using science to bootstrap our species into Princedom. We should not tolerate anything that gets in the way of a rational, sensible, objective but pragmatic, and above all beneficent mindset in the way we deal with the universe around us.
And eventually, we're all going to be angels. Why not stop arguing, start acting, stop shouting and start whispering, and get our damned acts together for the sake of the oncoming and ongoing future and history? Shit. The Show Must Go On. |
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Saving Private Ryan vs Team Fortress 2
06/29/08, 15:40
This fable is entitled, "Meet The Scout", or, "Flank, Capture, Destroy, WHOOO!!"
Thanks Aesop & Son. |
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Marines Ghost Ride the MRAP
06/29/08, 15:28
Also, the year you're looking for is 2505. |
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Oyome ni shinai!
06/29/08, 15:17
Maybe it's just because I get maybe 3/4ths of the references, but this made me cry and my stomach hurt with uncontrolled laughing. I am easily amused, or I'm a fan of scary self-stereotyping Japanese grandmothers, take your pick. |
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Where's Poppa? - Trial Scene
06/29/08, 15:10
Is this... When is this from, Oh Mystical Source of Answers (internet)? 1970 you say? How am I unsurprised?
After all that, nice closing statement from the witness. 10 minute recess? |
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فرقه فور ام - ديسك
06/29/08, 14:47
Culture. It's a hell of a drug. |
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Who Made Who?
06/29/08, 14:46
I see what you did there, Professor English McSneakyguy. |
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Who Made Who?
06/29/08, 14:45
THE INTERNET!! |
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Not the Bees Remix
06/29/08, 14:43
Stupid Meme.
Stupid Meme is Stupid.
Stupid Meme is Hilarious.
Stupid Meme
Stupid Meme is good. |
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America's Funniest People - Buttkist Orange Juice
06/29/08, 14:37
I like to imagine that the internet has allowed a diametrically-opposed concept of "This Video = Amusing" to arrise:
Grandpa making a goofy face with his bottom lip over his top lip.
VERSUS
A man has a seizure on the New Jersey Turnpike, his foot incedentally floors it to 75MPH, and his effectively driverless car rams a concrete tollbooth, instantly exploding into flames and fiery debris and smoke, and it was all captured on the CCTV camera, and someone in control of the videos decided to post it.
What generation gap? YOU TELL ME THAT ISN'T FUNNY!! |
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The Punisher kills a bunch of guys
06/29/08, 14:32
That would be irredeemably, hurrderdurr. |
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The Punisher kills a bunch of guys
06/29/08, 14:31
The music brings out the pure, over-the-top, boldfaced, unredeemably violent and unapologetic ridiculousness of this game, and to a large extent, the comics.
BUY IT FOR YOUR KIDS! Tell them they can only play it while Yakity-Sax or merry-go-round fair ground midway music is playing in the background, NO EXCEPTIONS. |
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How to make a creationist cry
06/29/08, 14:01
Oh. I got here late to the party, again.
Belief in God is just fine and dandy with me, as long as it doesn't get in the way of the pursuit of truth; after all, eventually, some benevolent intelligent form of life is going to have to fill The Empty Throne, and I nominate our little fledgling species, out of pure spite at the Quiet Universe. |
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Dumbass thieves cant get past a locked door
06/29/08, 12:31
This is the best non-plausible suggestion for a reason to hightail it outta there submitted so far. |
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Yakitate Japan: I've come to help you avenge your cat
06/29/08, 11:58
HAHAHA YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME.
Dude, screenshot or it didn't happen, I have to see this somehow. It's time to check the local mega bookstore and check under the "Y" mangacomics section. |
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Homeboys in Outer Space Opening
06/29/08, 11:52
Noble cause, +2. |
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Bill O'Reilly Goes Nuts!
06/29/08, 11:44
FUCK IT!!
THING SUCKS!!! |
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High School Graduation Mooning
06/29/08, 11:35
"An overreaction? The chief doesn't think so."
Slow news day indeed. I'm sure there must have been a cat stuck in a tree that needed covering that day, but the story about a kid BEING LEWD AND LASCIVIOUS AT GRADUATION was just too big of a scoop not to go with for a headliner. |
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Drunk Russian on a Bike
06/29/08, 11:15
My fifth star is just for the noise the fence makes. |
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Ninja Terminator - Office Guy makes a grave mistake
06/29/08, 11:11
"God damn you." [BEATDOWN] |
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