j lzrd / swift idiot
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| Comments |
Scottish Fold
04/19/08, 14:28
ANDRU STRANGE, WHERE ARE YOU TO ONE STAR THIS?
HEY BITCH I'M TALKIN' TO YOU!
PREEMPTIVE STRIKE MUTHAFUCKA. |
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Captain Kirk kisses an alien
04/19/08, 14:23
WHAAAT THEEEE FUUUUUCK!?!?!?!!?!???!!
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Battletoads preorder
04/19/08, 14:12
OH WAIT......
IT'S A TRICK! I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING THERE!
Nice try, Mister, but you'll have to do better than that!
(This really would have been a five if it didn't reek of meme. Feel free to bitch me out and five-star-spite me) |
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The best 2girls1cup reaction ever
04/19/08, 14:03
Dude. I'm going to fight my fight right here and right now, for no particular reason, like Forrest Gump running.
It ain't cuz I'm white. Yes. I'm fuckin' white. I'm white like a Norwiegian-Irish viking-mick. I'm white like a goddamn sheet of printer paper. I'm so white, the skin where the sun don't shine (AKA: My armpits) is so pale, it's fucking see-through like a goddamn onion-skin. I'm one of those skinny pricks that can show you his arms and you can SEE the blue blood in his fucking veins. I'm so white, I was raised Unitarian Universalist.
I'm so goddamn fucking white, that I don't know who The Roots are, and have never heard any of their songs, or if I have, I didn't know it. SO FUCKING SUE ME FOR REPARATIONS. I'M AN OBLIVIOUS WHITEBOY! You wanna know what the first CD I ever owned was? Crystal Method's Vegas album. Before that, the only music I had ever heard was the classical music dad played during dinner.
TLDR: Do they have any famous songs, or maybe can suggest an album of theirs to buy? |
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Mad Max Opening Chase
04/19/08, 13:35
"TERMINAL PSYCHOTIC"
I want my post-apocolyptic police cars to be goofy-yellow painted.
Also, wow. |
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Epic LARP Battle with Dragon
04/19/08, 13:22
You know, I could probably swallow enough of my pride to actually do this.
Not because I'm big into toadstickers or Victorian bullshit, but because I want to run around with a gigantic boffer-sword whacking shit while some Cleric guy with a foam-dagger and Role Playing Magical Healing Powers keeps me from getting my legs and arms "Hacked Off" while I smack things and people. WHEE!! |
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Furry Ninja Attack
04/19/08, 12:19
Big, big, big WHAT!? here. |
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H. P. Papercraft
04/19/08, 12:12
If I haven't seen it, it's new to me!
I KNEW PUTTING THE INTERNET IN THE BASEMENT WAS A BAD IDEA.
What is this series? |
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Okami Justin Timberlake
04/19/08, 12:06
Stop it!
STOP IT!
STOOOOP IIIIIIT!!!!
SON OF A BITCH, QUIT THAT!!
God dammit. |
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Guy on PCP giving cops a tough time
04/18/08, 20:46
I favorited this comment. |
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POP!
04/18/08, 20:40
Oh yeah, and since I don't wanna send the wrong message, I'm waiting for some kind of equivalent video with the sexes reversed. It couldn't be that hard; Annaline comes up from behind with a piroette, shoulder-taps, then punches Boogieslaps in the nuts and spins him out of the computer chair, sticks out her tongue like Gene Simmons, throws the Nixon "V"'s, and cut.
Except it should be unscripted. |
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POP!
04/18/08, 20:20
I have a theory about why this is better every subsequent time viewing it. See, the first time, our mouth just hung open like a broken hinge. We didn't know what the hell to expect, and by the time it was over, we didn't know what the hell we just watched.
Then we click again, knowing what happens to Anna. We see Mr. Boogieslaps appear again, wait for Anna to raise her head at the calling of her name, and (OH HERE IT COMES!!) POW! Then we watch him show the pride in his work. TWO THUMBS UP!
Then we click again. We grin. "Hey, there's the guy who slaps oblivious women! He's dancing!" We grin more. He shouts her name... "That's right Anna, look up, but don't look around..."
WHAP!!!
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I LOVE YOU, MR. THUMBS-UP!"
It's all about knowing what's going to happen over and over to someone, like Groundhog's Day, while the victim remains eternally clueless. |
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Kid Falls Off Bicycle
04/18/08, 20:08
The same thing that goes through the minds (and often mouths) of a doomed jetliner's pilot and co-pilot. The blackboxes prove it.
"[Alarm] Pull up. [Alarm] Pull up. [Alarm]
"Shit, shit, SHIT!!! SHI--" [static] |
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Geraldine
04/18/08, 19:52
Full speed ahead and damn the hatorpedos!
"RRRrrrRRAH, DA DA DOO DA DAA!" [WHAP!!] |
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Don't jump on the slide Edward
04/18/08, 19:38
The real question is, why is watching toddlers hurt themselves on slides, skeeball ramps, and breakdancers so goddamn hilarious?
For now, I'm willing to settle on "It just fucking IS." |
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How to undress in less than ten seconds
04/18/08, 19:34
(Secret 5 stars for the conjunction of "jimmy stick" and someone who is appalled by such a euphamism. Don't change Rizzo, you're an integral part of the intricate mosaic that is PoETV) |
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Man With The Most Horrific Tumors Ever
04/18/08, 18:43
I MADE IT 25 SECONDS! [Wilhelm scream goes here] |
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CNC lathe pencil sharpener
04/18/08, 18:19
That pencil is probably rather sharp. +1 for the awesome tag. |
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Jumping spider vs. Mouse pointer
04/18/08, 18:16
"TRICK ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU! TRICK ME--WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO NOW!?"
Also, I have never before wanted a bug for a pet so badly as I do now. Rhino beetles? Nah. A lucky cricket? Pssh. A beehive? AAAUGH BEES!! But THIS little guy, he's just as fun as a cat and a laser pointer, but needs MUCH less care, I'd imagine. |
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Helicopter gives deer a blow job
04/18/08, 18:10
Air hockey!? |
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