j lzrd / swift idiot
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| Comments |
Calvin & Hobbes
02/14/08, 08:30
I'm sorry you were born some time in the late LATE 80's, Asshole Douchebag ("THAT'S THE MIDDLE NAME, YOU CAN SHORTEN IT TO JUST D.") McDickinass-Coxmouth, but Calvin & Hobbes was a comic strip you would have had to have lived in the time to have understood, you little juvie punk.
I'm sorry that one day you never woke up on a sunday morning to see your favorite Sunday morning color strip portraying a dead sparrow, lesson being all things die in a shoebox if they're lucky. I'm sorry you never blew a bubblegum balloon so huge that when it burst it seemed like your face exploded. I'm sorry you never pulled the emergency brake on your parent's car and had it roll down the driveway into oncoming traffic only to crash into the creek across the front lawn, and I'm sorry your parents never held you and you never felt amazed that they didn't care about the car, only that you were safe and unhurt.
Go read your fucking Penny Arcade or VGCats or Achewood or Sluggy Freelance or Gone With The Blast Wave, you worthless philistine piece of shit. I hope when your parents die, you have to bury them or scatter their ashes knowing that they never had faith in you to be a soul worth it's wieght in carbon. |
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Knife Wielding Woman Vs. Police
02/14/08, 07:58
Umm, brutal. Totally metal. But umm... Is this really what PoETV is? I didn't smile, I didn't giggle, I didn't even find the broken finger too excrutiating.
And what the hell with the cops, are the all supposed to be hostage negotiators? Or is that just the officer who was trying to be nice?
I don't wanna be one of those "How did this make it through the hopper" fags, but just send this on to SpikeTV or some shit. It's pretty much the only thing LiveLeak is good for. |
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Russian Front Kung-Fu
02/14/08, 07:47
How did I not favorite a rock 'n roll Nazi Germany VS Red Russia videogame machinima video~!?
Hammer Scythe Style Kung Fu will defeat your weak Heil Hitler Stance Jiu-Jitsu! |
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High FPS Slow Motion Compilation
02/14/08, 07:04
Prodigy: Fat Of The Land: "Climbatize"
For the millionth time. |
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Metal Wolf Chaos trailer
02/14/08, 06:56
I'm still pissed they ported some Post-Nexus:ArmoredCore game instead of sending this our way.
The dialogue is like Konami's Ace Combat series, but intentionally(??) Godhand-ish! Don't the nips know we eat that japlish shit up!? |
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Gnarls Barkley Crazy Theremin Jam
02/14/08, 06:36
I had to watch it three times. Then I bookmarked it.
Pass this video around. I will now be calling local music shops to see if they sell such devices. Anyone know any place that might carry one of these near Sacramento? |
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Jon Spencer shows kids the magic of the Theremin
02/14/08, 06:20
Theremin = Five stars.
PERIOD.
I need one of these things. |
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Tesla coil as an amplifier
02/14/08, 06:17
I was about to say, this is REAL LIFE DETHKLOK STUFF, right here. Just make a Tesla coil about 30 times the size of the one in the video and voila.
Now if only someone would hook a Tesla coil up to a Theramin... OHHHH SHIIIIIT. |
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Zero Punctuation - Sim City Socieites
02/14/08, 06:08
HAHA JONESTOWN KOOL-AID JOKE!!
Also that last TF2 bit was disturbing. |
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Making my kid laugh by giving him a beard burn
02/14/08, 05:59
Dude, your kid knows that you're trying but failing to eat him. Right around thirty seconds, when he goes from laughing at your canabalistic ineptitude to the realization that "Wow, he really has no idea how to consume my delicious babymeats," it's just hilarious! I swear dude, he's gonna be a terror now that he knows even his own father can't eat him whole. Next thing you know, he'll be two years old and like, "The only reason I'm alive is because of your biological attachment to me! GO FETCH ME APPLEJUICE, and while you're at it, play me that silly video of you on that ridiculous 90's love show! Oh yeah, and I want a puppy!" |
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Last Occult - Nigerian movie trailer
02/11/08, 16:43
"Boys... shoot every tire in this country."
WHAT!!? |
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'Hitler' (Nigerian movie trailer)
02/11/08, 16:40
It's not un-fucking-real, it's sur-fucking-real! The best kind of fucking-reals! |
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Worf is not a merry man
02/09/08, 14:29
Holy crap, wow. How did that happen? |
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Myth Busters - Water Heater Rocket
02/09/08, 14:21
Holy fucking shit, how have I not seen this one before!? That launch was PERFECT! |
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MST3K - 10 Mike-era WTF Moments
02/09/08, 14:14
Yeah, that last one and "I'm back!" could carry this thing all by themselves.
I only feel regret that basic cable didn't carry the channel MST3K was on when I was a kid until well after the show was done and over. :( I wonder how much the box sets are running for? |
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Statler and Waldorf's Greatest (?) Hits
02/09/08, 14:04
Waoooh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!! |
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Hsieh Kuo-cheng's bank-robber-catching net
02/08/08, 16:55
Seconded!
And why are all the bank robbers in continental asia Australians!? Seriously, I'm still giggling a little thirty seconds after watching this. |
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Fatboy Slim - Sunset (Bird Of Prey)
02/08/08, 16:11
I'm glad I got around to watching this. |
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Inappropriate Use of Simile
02/08/08, 16:01
My jaw just dropped all the way to fucking China. |
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Skeeball Accident
02/08/08, 15:28
I'm seconding this. Seriously, there need to be more calm, unflappable "Now, you see (insert son or daughter's name here)? That's what happens to people who don't stand behind the yellow line like they're supposed to" fathers out there.
Although I know I could never be one of those fathers, since I'd be laughing too hard to make the point, and probably just manage something like "Well, at least he won't be sticking his head into the path of a subway train! HAH!"
Remember, teach Shadenfraud at a young age! |
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