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Binro the Heretic

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Comments
Six Stages of FTL
01/20/13, 17:43

That's for the best. This game hates you.

It doesn't know you, but it already hates you. If you play, it will direct that hatred directly at your very soul like a laser-guided napalm strike.

I have never seen a game that hates the player so much. Introducing this game into a supercomputer would result in the creation of AM from "I Have no Mouth and I Must Scream".
Two Swanson TV Dinner Commercials
01/20/13, 16:30

Hey, it's that guy from "The Shining", the one who got a blowjob from the dude in the dog costume.

(I know it's not really, but that guy always reminded me of Conried)
We're Cycling At The Moment
01/20/13, 16:25

My brain has grown too many empathy circuits. I can no longer enjoy pratfalls the way I used to.

Still, I did enjoy the way she said "WE'RE cycling at the moment" then aimed the camera at her tits.
Stupid Things Scientologists Say
01/20/13, 11:21

What was the line in "Transmetropolitan"?

"Vampires sucking the life from people whose only sin was to be tired and scared?"

Something along those lines.
What Gay Guys Think About Vaginas
01/20/13, 10:52

Roughly around the age of eleven all boys, gay or straight, begin getting basic and mostly inaccurate information about vaginas.

This is what happens when they're not interested enough in vaginas to learn the facts.
Don't jump on the counter!
01/20/13, 09:59

They don't like tape anywhere on them.

When I was a kid, a group of us were playing at a friend's house and he said "Hey, y'all, watch this!" He then pulled a six-inch piece of tape off a roll and carefully laid it across the tail of his dozing cat. He woke the cat up and it took the poor thing a few seconds to feel the foreign object at which point it snapped wide awake and freaked the fuck out.

The kid laughed along with the rest of us at first, but then the cat began leaping up onto shelves and furniture knocking over breakable things. We had even more laughs watching him try to catch the thing.
Don't jump on the counter!
01/19/13, 23:23

Excuse me, I have to go do some stuff in the kitchen.
Saw Whet Owl
01/19/13, 21:33

This bird had to evolve to hunt them, though.
Saw Whet Owl
01/19/13, 21:16

Awww...

Poor little guy hurt himself banging into a glass door. :(

Get well soon, precious little predator.
The Tater Tornado
01/19/13, 12:46

I have a little gadget that only cost me three bucks and does the same thing. It's just a little blade with an auger on one end and a ring on the other. You put the auger in the potato and, using your finger in the ring, twirl the blade through the potato.

I've never thought of putting the end result on a stick and frying it, though. I usually just make a cut with a knife from one end to the other splitting the spiral into little scalloped potatoes.
The Platters and Kool & the Gang for Schiltz Malt Liquor
01/19/13, 12:05

An old buddy of mine had an ancient Schlitz promotional lighted sign he had bought at a yard sale. It looked like a bull's head mounted on a trophy plaque and when the light was switched on, the eyes glowed red.

For some reason, his fiancee refused to let him put it up in the living room when they moved in together.
the soothing sound of 14 pitched down crying babies
01/19/13, 09:15

It's like a zombie virus swept through a retirement home.
mother and kids try to cross icy road at night on a sled
01/19/13, 09:12

D8
Alex Jones: Nerds are the most dangerous group
01/18/13, 12:20

@ EvilHomer:

Saying the assault weapons ban had "zero measurable impact" on violence is a laughably ambiguous statement. If you would care to put out something more specific, maybe we could discuss it?

Some facts:

After the 1994 ban on assault weapons was enacted, the use of the banned weapons among criminal gangs went sharply down, in the US as well as Mexico.

Since the ban expired, their use has gone back up.

Guns that are easy for the public to acquire are easy for criminals to acquire.
Dapper Budgie
01/18/13, 11:10

He certainly is!
parasledding, amazing new 'sport'
01/18/13, 00:02

HOLD YOUR FUCKING PHONES SIDEWAYS, DAMN IT!
WTF IS THIS?!?
01/17/13, 18:50

There isn't room.

The growing worms absorb nearly all nutrition the hosts take in, leaving them just enough to survive. Then they start eating the internal organs leaving only the nervous system and locomotive muscles. Then they release chemicals that cause the host to drag itself into a small body of water. The worm exits the body and starts the life cycle anew.

It's likely the reason the person saw the spider walking around the house was because the worm had matured to the point it had plugged itself into the dying spider's brain and was piloting it towards water.
Zangief's Victim Speaks
01/17/13, 18:22

What is that on your...is that a...

WHAT KIND OF PARENTS LET A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD GET THEIR EYEBROW PIERCED?

FUCK! I mean...just...FUCK!
Human Ear Mite Infestation
01/17/13, 18:01

DON'T LISTEN TO OXYGEN THIEF!

I thought I could handle it after seeing the preload image BUT IT'S SO MUCH WORSE WHEN THEY'RE MOVING.

SOMETIMES, THEY ALL DECIDE TO MOVE AT THE SAME TIME!!!
Maniac Mansion (1990)
01/15/13, 22:12

I remember this show not being very good at all.

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