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|Creepiest Mad Doctor|
All I have to say is I'm sure I saw this movie once before I ever saw the MST3K version (I also saw Squirm a couple of times years before on some part of the hinterlands of cable tv channels) and it impressed me with how utterly sleazy it is.
And one of my favorite lines from the MST3K version, after creepy Dr. Ted has invited those two ladies into his car, and made some quip about being safe with him
Mike: "Heh heh heh, have you seen Frankenhooker?"
Interestingly enough, Frankenhooker director Frank Henenlotter claimed The Brain That Wouldn't Die to be an inspiration for that film. Also, Jason (Dr. Ted Cortner) Evers had a role in an early Henenlotter film, Basket Case 2 (i.e. the sequel to the movie about the deformed separated Siamese twin on a murder rampage)
|Mission Hill - Who knows what surprises the big city holds?|
I liked Mission Hill, it had a sort of weird charm to it. And at least you could catch it in reruns on Adult Swim, when they weren't decided to fill in gaps in their schedule with other networks' leavings like "Baby Blues".
|X-Mas Origins: Santa|
No way, that Wolverine movie was great if you like tons of incredibly unconvincing CGI.
|Cameras mounted on falcons and goshawks|
Wow, watching this makes me feel like I'm being taken right into the Danger Zone.
|Quadrotor Drone Learns Several Terrifying New Tricks|
I look forward to the day when larger versions of these are hovering over our cities, enforcing curfews and snatching dissenters up and dropping them off at re-education camps where they will learn to love our alloy-and-plastic overlords.
|tim and eric: pierre eats the dream cream|
I've said it before, I could almost appreciate their commitment to looking as lousy and "really low budget local TV production values" as humanly possible, but their schtick just isn't funny. What puts me off of T&E is their constant reliance on cheap gross-out humor and the oh-aren't-we-clever-wink-wink faux-awkwardness that permeates almost every second of their output.
|Tim and Eric: Make My Bub Bubs Bounce|
This is basically just awful.
This is total dogshit.
|Kunoichi Ninpo Cho - Vagina Bubbles from Hell|
Are we sure this is a ninja movie? No one is wearing a headband that has "NIN (silhouette of ninja) JA" on it.
|Praying Mantis Attacks Hummingbird|
Hey, this episode of "The Deadliest Warrior" isn't too bad.
SyFy Original Movies presents BRONADO IN NEW YORK
Starring that guy who was in that one TV series and that actress who used to be on that other TV series, you remember, it was kind of popular but not very popular.
|Alpha & Omega the Movie|
Oh holy balls, I ignored this in the Hopper because for some reason from the description I thought it was one of those amateurish "animation" projects small collectives of furries collaborate on that never get beyond the "here's some test animation and some voice acting auditions on Youtube" phase, but this . . .
this is even worse that I thought possible. It is basically a Furraffinity project with a studio budget and gloss.
|A baby monkey rides a pig|
That stupid monkey is riding the pig backwards! I have no choice but to give this video 1 star.
WHOOPS I MEAN FIVE STARS, because the monkey is riding the pig backwards.
|Semi-realistic Simpson Family.|
This is total dogshit.
|The 'Wife Fight' from MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE!|
that was a sarcastic "HOT" of course. This is almost as painful to watch as the driving scenes.
They got into a fight over what they were going to name the poorly planned vintage clothing store they're going to open that will end up surviving a year longer than it should thanks to an emergency influx of parental funds.
|Nine minutes of nothing but driving from MANOS THE HANDS OF FATE!|
The sign pointed this way! Admit I'm right! ADMIT I'M RIGHT!
This is a perfect image for a horror movie poster, only lacking a hand reaching up from the center, crawling with ants and covered in bites.
|18 Cats and a Squirrel|
IT'S A SQUIRREL
AND IT'S PURRING
THE END TIMES ARE NEAR
|prolonged Death Scene from 'The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)|
"Now he's going to fall into a pan of lemon juice."
The guy with the red jacket bears an uncanny, and I do mean really spooky resemblance to this total supernerd who used to hang out at a comic shop I frequented back around 2000, 2001. By hang out I mean "spend hours a day loitering in the store, butting into conversations and maybe buying a single 25-cent comic from the bargain bins every few weeks".
This annoyed the no. 1 clerk who happened to be a friend of mine to no end, because this guy, called Lionel, kept bothering people and mayber repelled some customers but the shop's boss man was deathly afraid of kicking anyone one out for whatever reason.
Lionel was pretty smug and annoying, had a nerd lisp and hung out with this doughy Hispanic guy who always wore a little vinyl kid's backpack. This guy was also loud, smug and annoying.
Lionel tended to gravitate towards books with female leads, and would debate loudly with his pal and the two other guys who sort of hung out with them while he stood in the aisles of the store.
I remember walking in and seeing a mother edging her young son towards the door while casting nervous glances at this nerd cluster, Lispy McGee going on and on at high volume in this vein: "BOY, LADY DEATH HATH THE BIGGETHT BOOBTH IN COMICTH, IF SHE GOT INTO A WRETHLING MATCH WITH WONDER WOMAN, WOW TALK ABOUT A BOOBFETHT!!!!!"