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Xenocide

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Comments
Douglas Wilson on Circular Reasoning
06/22/11, 16:18

I choose to base my worldview on the standard of beards. I will follow whoever has the best one.

.....not bad, Douglas Wilson. But you're no Santa.
superior 'Fata Morgana' mirage
06/22/11, 05:18

SCIENCE CORNER PRESENTS-- How this works:

1- When a boat sets out on its maiden voyage, the queen is typically summoned to smash a bottle of champagne against it. This is done for good luck, and to prevent the boat from falling prey to wizards.

2- Sometimes, however, the queen can't make it, either due to her advanced age or her furious contempt for all boats. In these cases, the boat is forced to set sail with nothing more than a Capri Sun juice box thrown at it by the local dog catcher. This barely protects against only the most basic enchantments.

3- Seeing their chance, the wizards will send the boat to a parallel dimension. They will then create a duplicate of the boat (note: the duplicate is evil) so no one will suspect a thing. However on certain days you can see the original boat's ghostly visage sailing alongside the evil boat. (not in video: the captain's barely audible ethereal voice yelling "help meeeeeee.")

4- The evil boat will seek out food for the wizards, who will await the boats while building their nests on high cliffs. After consuming the food, the female wizards enter estrus.

5-BIOLOGY FACT: The male wizard takes care of the egg until it hatches.
Tom Hanks wants The Onion to win a Pulitzer
06/21/11, 13:46

We will when the actual news guys start doing their jobs again.
The Currys of Atlantis
06/20/11, 17:31

His family seems to hate his jolly ass in this version, too. Except Aqualad, who just died.
Highest possible jump in Super Mario Bros.
06/20/11, 17:30

Cheaters never win, winners don't use drugs.
The Currys of Atlantis
06/20/11, 17:26

The Joker always schedules some sort of submarine robbery for Tuesdays. He likes to be accommodating.
A Fairly Odd Movie - 'Grow Up Timmy Turner!'
06/20/11, 13:00

At least people won't be able to complain about the lack of job openings anymore.
A Fairly Odd Movie - 'Grow Up Timmy Turner!'
06/20/11, 12:59

"'The Last Airbender' is a new low for Nickelodeon...it's hard to imagine they could do worse if they tried."
-Jack Flickbitch, Minneapolis Tribune

"Oh yeah?"
-Nickelodeon
Meanwhile, in Belgium...
06/20/11, 02:47

Breaking: 17-second video leads Belgium to be officially recognized as the world's only perfect society. We go now live to a statement from Prime Minister Tintin.
Mr. Popper's Penguins: Extended Trailer
06/19/11, 16:56

But that reactor was FULL OF GHOSTS.

Seriously, while it's true that the Ghostbusters were probably breaking several thousand laws, Dickless wasn't doing his job right. If you find an illegal nuclear device in someone's basement, you're going to need to make damn sure it's safe to turn the thing off before doing so. You don't just march in there and yell "SHUT IT DOWN!" five seconds after you first lay eyes on the thing.
Streaming Felony
06/19/11, 16:49

Hm, that should have read "you honestly think everyone is too stupid to notice the contradiction."
Streaming Felony
06/19/11, 16:48

If Obama is a typical politician, then how do you explain the atypical amount of vicious hatred constantly being thrown at him from the right? Shouldn't you be out there correcting the "Obama is the worst president in history/the antichrist/a socialist dictator" crowd?

Or could it be that conservatives just want to be able to switch between the "Obama is politics as usual" and "Obama is a historically catastrophic disaster" lines of attack as it suits them, and you honestly think no one is stupid enough to notice the contradiction?
Mr. Popper's Penguins: Extended Trailer
06/19/11, 15:37

Gotta save something for the sequel. I mean, besides the revelation that the penguins are secret agents who need Jim Carrey's help.
Mr. Popper's Penguins: Extended Trailer
06/19/11, 15:35

So the only character who's actually qualified to look after the penguins gets branded the villain. Take that, the government!
THIS MUST BE THE PLACE Trailer
06/19/11, 03:33

Miley Cryus is Sean Penn, and Sean Penn is Rooster Cogburn's horse in TRUE GRIT 2: THE SQUEAKQUEL.
THIS MUST BE THE PLACE Trailer
06/19/11, 00:50

I wept openly. Plus I was a little turned on.
Badly Animated Man
06/19/11, 00:31

Disney shows always had the highest budgets in the industry. Sometimes they liked to rub this in.
The Muppets - trailer
06/18/11, 15:52

My expectations have been lowered to the point that I'm just happy they're using real puppets and not CGI.
Black Atheists Of Atlanta - Atheist gays are only atheist because they're mad at the church
06/17/11, 13:33

SEX STYLE.

That sounds pretty good when that guy says it. Mmmm...sex style.
Disney Surprise gone wrong
06/17/11, 13:31

In Wisconsin we have Mennonites! They abuse their dogs so badly, we had to pass a law specifically directed at them. Wisconsin is serious and has no time for your games.

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