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Xenocide

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Comments
Every Castlevania game ever made.
09/27/11, 17:21

To be fair, even the earliest Belmonts had long hair, skirtish armor, and what appeared to be a tiara.
Open Letter to My Ex-Wife
09/27/11, 17:17

All the best letters throughout history have begun with "Hello, Slut!"

For example, the majority of Lincoln's Civil War correspondence starts this way.
Trader on the BBC says Eurozone Market will crash
09/27/11, 02:53

Greed I can deal with, but FAKE greed?
Token Libertarian Girl submitted a YouTube question for the last GOP debate
09/27/11, 00:02

Only if they agree to also opt out of ever getting old. Perhaps some sort of Logan's Run system could be set up.
Ringo Starr shills Pizza Hut
09/26/11, 15:56

Even then, Ringo only realizes it because they were playing the Monkees theme song in the background.
Ringo Starr shills Pizza Hut
09/26/11, 14:47

When it comes to the movies, Ringo outclasses the other three without even trying.
Ringo Starr shills Pizza Hut
09/26/11, 14:43

I used to love this commercial. To this day I still sometimes say "Lads! The time has come!" when appropriate.

It's weird because when this aired I was like ten years old and had no idea who Ringo Starr was. I did know the Monkees, though.

In other news, stuffed crust pizza is gross.
Torah Tots!
09/26/11, 03:06

Do you hear that?

It's a baby!
Bernard Shaw asks Michael Dukakis a question
09/22/11, 15:17

The way he phrases it, it sounds less like a question and more like a proposition.

Sonic Colors - Death by going too fast
09/22/11, 00:35

Sonic and his goddamn rings.

There are only two kinds of rings worth wearing: wedding and Green Lantern.
Sonic Colors - Death by going too fast
09/22/11, 00:32

The entire Sonic franchise is built around a gimmick. That's kind of its problem. "He can go fast!" was pretty impressive in 1992, but in the 3D era it's a liability: high speeds are more likely to lead to camera seizures and cheap deaths than exciting platforming.

Nintendo gets away with having decades-spanning franchises because theirs are all built on basic gameplay fundamentals. Mario is about creative level design. Zelda is about exploration. Metroid is about progression.
Time-Life Books 'The Old West' commercial from 1988
09/21/11, 03:09

Jack Palance is about to have sex with the old west. So call now!
Crash Canyon Episode 1
09/20/11, 15:59

No.
Crash Canyon Episode 1
09/20/11, 14:30

No, we wouldn't. We'd have half an hour of celebrities projectile vomiting and identical recreations of long scenes from 80's movies with one minor difference (HEY WHAT IF EVERYONE IN ROCKY IV WAS A SMURF.)

Seth can't make a sketch show because it would make it even more obvious how much of a one-trick pony he is.
Crash Canyon Episode 1
09/20/11, 14:28

You'd think that if they were going to copy the terrible writing style, they would at least switch up the ugly art style. Nope. Not even trying, are we, guys?

Yo Soy Monsignor Martinez!
09/19/11, 18:14

Ese Monsignor Martinez es un chile picante. ĦAy!
russian billionaire sucker-punches another russian billionaire on talk show
09/19/11, 16:21

All that money, and he can't buy the one thing that really matters: punch immunity.
Dr. Mehmet Oz Accused of 'Fear Mongering'
09/19/11, 04:25

The guy doesn't even seem to have the courage of his own convictions. If you really think apple juice is toxic, why are you giving it to your kids? That makes you either a liar or a bad parent.
call out to the Dallas cowboys and Jerry Jones
09/19/11, 02:18

Your first post was still technically correct.
Pee Wee Herman Marries Fruit Salad
09/19/11, 02:18

But it's clearly a FEMALE fruit salad. God's will has been done.

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