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Xenocide

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Comments
Tulsa Fox News affiliate reports on the Pedobear
03/24/11, 14:02

I'm here in front of the planned site of the Tulsa State Fair, which also potentially may be the site of several future child rapes.

These rapes are purely theoretical at this point, but experts are expecting something between zero and five billion child rapes to occur on these fairgrounds. How many will be committed by men in bear suits? How many will be committed by bears in man suits?

Beware, because any human being on the street may in fact be FULFILLING HIS FANTASY FOR THE DAY (they have checklists) just by being within 50 feet of your child. The only solution: do not let your child leave the house under any circumstances. Unless you suspect that you may be a pedophile, in which case, make your child leave the house under every circumstances.

Now back to Ted in the studio. Ted spent ten seconds on Wikipedia today and now knows what NAMBLA is. We're all very proud of Ted.
AIDES Smutley
03/24/11, 13:52

Life is more fun with an invisible penis.
Some dude laments the demise of super porn torrent sites Empornium and Pure TNA
03/24/11, 13:48

That's it, folks. No more porn on the internet.
We Are The Berenstain Bears
03/23/11, 23:09

Mistake.
We Are The Berenstain Bears
03/23/11, 10:45

What the hell.

This song was randomly in MY head two days ago. I'm not even joking.

Codehappy, I knew you were a sorceress but why can't you use your powers for good.
Racist Coffee
03/21/11, 23:29

I'm racist against all coffee.
Jeopardy! with Perry Stone
03/20/11, 12:46

Dammit, angel! You were supposed to save that guy's soul, not bring down Satan's entire Venezuelan cocaine empire! Turn in your badge!
Jeopardy! with Perry Stone
03/20/11, 12:45

SPECIAL greetings?

Well, it's about time. I'm sick of those other preachers who keep trying to dump generic greetings on me.
First person Mario
03/20/11, 12:42

I don't think this is actually going to be the next Mario game.
Pakistan Hello Kitty commercial
03/20/11, 12:38

Now I know why she doesn't normally have a mouth. Because with a mouth, she is horrifying.
First person Mario
03/20/11, 12:37

It's not hard to remember Mario, since they still make games featuring him.

HEY GUYS REMEMBER THE INTERNET
Romeo and Juliet: Sealed With A Kiss
03/17/11, 12:49

PoeTV, what is the saddest thing?

A) You spend four years making a movie by yourself, never realizing how terrible it is. Upon its release, it is widely ignored, and those who don't ignore it hate it. You then spend the rest of your life defending it.

B) You spend four years making a movie by yourself. About halfway in, you realize that you are making something terrible. But you've invested so much time, effort, and money into it, that you can't bring yourself to stop. You spend the next two years working tirelessly on a project you hate, just you won't feel like a quitter and a failure.
Don Bluth: Realistic CGI
03/16/11, 17:09

Don Bluth insists that the only way to get that really special shade of red for Fievel's shirt is to use the blood of a puppy. A puppy who thought he could trust you.
Flying Muay Thai punch
03/16/11, 14:18

Turns out real life isn't like Street Fighter.

Except for the part where one of the Muay Thai guys sucks and the other one is awesome.
Final Fantasy XIII - Start Your Engines
03/16/11, 14:08

LET US HONOR OUR FALLEN SOLDIERS WITH THIS GAY FRENCH RE-IMAGINING OF MARIO KART.

Final Fantasy has become a sad little parody of itself. There was a time (we called it the 90's) when I swore by this franchise, but now I'm actually rather enjoying watching it self-destruct in the wake of this game, and the abortion that is FF 14.

Bonus points for only letting the player interact with the most boring part of that sequence.
Final Fantasy XIII - Start Your Engines
03/16/11, 13:58

Or until the next Call of Duty. Or the next Bulletstorm-style "look how edgy I am" action title.

It's actually kind of amazing how self-indulgent game creators become if you give them any sort of a budget.
Don Bluth: Realistic CGI
03/16/11, 10:17

Rango was a surprisingly excellent film. The Secret of NIMH is better, though.

Bluth basically had two and a half good movies in him (An American Tale kind of starts phoning it in halfway through) which is more than most people have. But he really should have just hung it up after about 1989, because I can't think of another director whose work went from great to awful so quickly.
We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story (clip)
03/16/11, 10:10

Because it's certainly not possible that any of us WERE children when this 20 year old film came out.

Way too much Beetleborgs fanart
03/15/11, 10:04

The ghost looked like the dumpster baby of Jay Leno and Elvis and ran around making funny voices like a sad live-action imitation of the Genie from Aladdin. I never sat through a full episode but I think he was supposed to be their version of Zordon.
This Troper EP 26: Imaginary Friend
03/14/11, 18:39

Anime.

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