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Xenocide

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Comments
Proufoundly irritating commercial for sweetener.
12/03/10, 15:18

I still watch TV, but with one exception it's all either downloaded off the internet or streamed from Netflix. So unless your commercial airs during The Venture Brothers, I am not aware of it. Take that, talking Quizno's baby, assuming you're still around!
Annoying Kid vs. Lizard
12/03/10, 15:11

It was uncomfortable until the end, then it was pure catharsis.
Annoying Kid vs. Lizard
12/03/10, 15:07

Justice Lizard never sleeps. He is always hunting. When night falls, look to the carpet, for there you will find him, and his terrible battle cry of "COMEUPPANCE!"

His next target: unboxing videos. Oh, look, that's not a new iPad in there, it's Justice Lizard and he's here to eat your prostate.
An Editorial, by Fred From Scooby-Doo
12/03/10, 14:59

Fun fact: Velma is actually Lisa Loeb.
Lobo Lucy gropped
12/03/10, 00:58

Once again, New Mexico's Special Drunken Cops Unit has done its duty. Their motto: "Always drunker than you are."
Proufoundly irritating commercial for sweetener.
12/02/10, 22:12

Someone at a marketing firm saw Juno and it was all downhill from there.
First 2 minutes of new live action Star Blazers movie
12/02/10, 18:23

Japanese captains are expected to keep a calm, level head in any situation. Sometimes that means he may seem a little detached. Sometimes that means he may be somewhat cold. Sometimes that means the brass promoted a guy with Alzheimer's. It's the price you pay.
First 2 minutes of new live action Star Blazers movie
12/02/10, 18:21

Little does our brave crew know that sinister forces are watching their every move. Oh sure, they're keeping quiet now, content to watch and plot from the security of their shiny gold box on the upper right hand corner.

But any moment now, one of them is going to move to the bottom of the screen and tell the pilots to use bombs wisely.
Captain Harlock - Professor Drake's Dramatic Death
12/02/10, 04:37

This statement is only true if you mute your computer.
Captain Harlock - Professor Drake's Dramatic Death
12/02/10, 04:37

Fucking infinite staircase. Guess I'll have to go back and collect some more stars.
Resisting the Green Dragon promo
12/01/10, 13:49

Christianity as an institution has become so divorced from Christianity as a philosophy that they're almost mutually exclusive. The best Christians I know are all people who never go to church.
Resisting the Green Dragon promo
12/01/10, 13:46

From the title I was expecting a how-to video on kicking heroin.
Introducing Donny Pauling, former porn producer, now anti-porn morality officer!
12/01/10, 04:39

Man, what the hell was that? That's not how you do an anti-porn story! You're supposed to have a big dramatic anti-porn revelation moment! You know, something like seeing a starlet have a meth freakout and jump off a balcony, or accidentally walking in on Seymour Buttz while he's raping an underage goat, or you're filming a scene and suddenly a bunch of AIDS falls from the cieling.

But no, your big anti-porn revelation moment was "one day I was driving and I had doubts about some things." Oh, and then I guess a guy from the church came over and you hung out for a couple of days. Spellbinding.

I'm thinking maybe you were kicked out of porn for being too boring.
Cars 2: New Trailer
11/30/10, 20:28

Someone had to tell the world the truth about car bathrooms.
Cars 2: New Trailer
11/30/10, 18:02

A car holding a gun and then firing the gun. With its tire.

I still have faith in Pixar. Someone just needs to backhand Lasseter and then explain to him why the Cars franchise is beneath him.
Police Squad 'How did you get in here?'
11/29/10, 03:10

The Locksmith would be a pretty useful superhero. And an even more useful supervillain.
Nice Beaver
11/29/10, 03:00

Naked Gun was the defining film series of my early adolescence.

When all the other kids were jizzing themselves over whatever is supposed to be special about Star Wars, I was watching Lt. Frank Drebin yell "move along, there's nothing to see here!" while a fireworks factory exploded directly behind him.

Years later I found out the father of one of my best friends had a bit part in Naked Gun 2, during which he gets to utter a single line of dialog to Leslie Nielsen. I met this fellow, and he was not terribly impressive, but I didn't care, because suddenly he served as some sort of link between myself and the man who does not wish to be called Shirley. The man who accidentally kissed Barbara Bush on the mouth in front of the White House press corps. The man some call Buzzam Frog, born on the shores of the Yuralaba River.

Neilson's career really began to take off at a time when most actor's careers are winding down. Here was a man in his 60's whose primary audience was a third his age, and he played to them masterfully. He seemed to understand the difference between aging and becoming old; he did the former, but never appeared to do the latter.

Leslie Neilsen was, and is, one of my heroes. May God rest him.
Flapjack wants to go there
11/28/10, 19:09

I do. As a side effect, there is nothing preventing me from killing Macbeth.
Flapjack wants to go there
11/28/10, 15:49

We all remember the first time we saw a vagina.
'AGM Heartland' - The New Neill Blomkamp Project
11/28/10, 01:43

Hot Dogs: A Love Story

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