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Xenocide

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Comments
Excerpt from Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults
11/17/10, 18:03

Bald guys in grape-themed shirts are another overlooked clue.

WAIT A MINUTE.
Fox News: 'Heaven Is For Real'
11/17/10, 18:01

Oh, that's just because after getting a taste of the incomprehensible ultimate perfection that is Heaven, coming back here to live a lifetime on this flawed, filthy planet is the worst fate imaginable. Having known that brief glimpse of rapturous joy which he can never recapture in this life makes his every moment on Earth worse than a thousand hells.

Up next on Fox and Friends: A little orphan girl who knew what it was like to have loving parents for one glorious hour between the adoption and the car crash. We'll condescend to her right after this!
Fox News: 'Heaven Is For Real'
11/17/10, 17:55

I guess it's the least they can do to take the attention of that kid's last name. I'm not a mean person, but if I had a classmate named "Burpo" in first grade, I would have considered it a divine obligation to make fun of him constantly. You can't waste a chance like that. You just can't.
The Atheist Experience - Proof and evidence that atheism is accurate and correct
11/16/10, 18:31

Fundies vs. Reactionary Atheists is the world's longest, most bitter tennis game.

Except the ball is called "burden of proof," the rackets are long diatribes, and whenever the ball falls on someone's side of the net, he begins loudly insisting that it's actually on the other guy's side.
Hate E-Mails, with Richard Dawkins
11/16/10, 15:55

Oops, that was meant to be a response to Hooker's comment above. See, if God were real, WHY WOULD HE ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.
Hate E-Mails, with Richard Dawkins
11/16/10, 15:54

In theory, I don't buy the "simply a lack of belief" argument, though I respect it. It seems to me that whenever you draw a conclusion about something unknowable, that is a belief. A true neutral position would be to simply not care, or to embrace one's lack of definitive knowledge on the subject as the closest one can get to the truth in this life (if ever.)

In practice, though, you're right. Most atheists, at least in my experience, don't go running around singing the praises of atheism. Those that do, such as Dawkins, have given up any claim they may have had toward neutrality. You can't go around attacking the other side and then say you don't take sides.
Hate E-Mails, with Richard Dawkins
11/16/10, 10:24

Every religion includes the belief that the world would be perfect if everyone would just convert.

It's as laughable when you say it as it is when they say it. Life just isn't that simple.

We want to think it's all cut and dry and that the other side consists entirely of deluded savages, who are the only thing standing in the way of our glimmering utopia. If only it were that easy. If only they really were a bunch of superstitious idiots, and didn't count among their number hundreds of millions of reasonable, intelligent people who simply have reached a different conclusion about the world than you. If only arrogance were the solution instead of humility. The former is in such great supply, after all.


Hate E-Mails, with Richard Dawkins
11/16/10, 09:51

The lovely thing is that over the past decade the real Cosby has basically turned into this.
Hate E-Mails, with Richard Dawkins
11/16/10, 02:19

With Richard Dawkins as the fundies, and Bill Cosby as Richard Dawkins.

Y'SEE THEO, IT'S LIKE YOUR TWELVE JAZZ GRANDPAS ALWAYS SAID: RELIGION IS THE CAUSE OF MOST OF THE SUFFERIN' IN THE WORLD, CAUSE THOSE FOLKS JUST DON'T WANNA SIDDOWN AND WATCH QUALITY MOVIE FILMS LIKE GHOST DAD DON'T YA SEE. NOW I'M GONNA GO OVER HERE SO JOIN ME N' RICHARD NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER PICTURE PAGE.
Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?
11/16/10, 02:07

Aaaaaand stars.
National UnFriend Day is just around the corner.
11/14/10, 13:52

Jimmy Kimmel is the opposite of funny.

Also, my biology professor used to have a comic strip with the exact same "see if they'll help you move" punchline on it stuck to his office door. It's been there for at least two years.

Those things I can forgive. But William Shatner was completely wasted here. Do you know how hard it is to get ahold of Shatner and NOT have him be funny? Anyone who achieves that is automatically a bad person.
Dog, balloons and toy - unbelievable adventure
11/13/10, 12:59

Alone in the valley of the Multicolored Orbs, Toy sat, cold and weak. But he was not afraid, for he had faith. Faith in the tales his elders had told of the Deliverer, that singular being who would come forth and bring freedom to all those trapped within the chaotic realm of the Orbs. The only one who could brave their fury, and their madness.

Just then, the Orbs began to stir, and then, in an instant, the darkness shattered, as light streamed in where it had once been blocked by the Orbs. And before him, moving the fearful Orbs aside as if they were nothing, stood Kevin the Yorkie.

"At least!" cried Toy,"the prophecy has been fulfilled!"
Toy Story 3 - Life and Death (spoilers)
11/13/10, 12:42

Cars is an allegory about how industrialization has dehumanized us all, and about how our tendency to define ourselves by our possessions, such as cars, has turned us INTO those possessions. All the characters in Cars are actually human beings.

Also, A Bug's Life is about apartheid.

And Ratatouille? It's about a rat who learns to cook, stupid.
Winnie the Pooh 2011
11/13/10, 11:20

They're saving that for the second trailer, where they reveal that Miley Cyrus is doing the voice of Kanga and the story revolves around them having to get to New York City in time for her big singing audition.

Simon Cowell cameos as The Very Judgmental Stuffed Porcupine.
Winnie the Pooh 2011
11/13/10, 11:17

I would honestly go see this just to get a big-screen look at those backgrounds. This looks like it'll be a gorgeous film. And the song choice is basically saying "you're going to see this out of nostalgia. We both know it, so why kid ourselves?" Stars for honesty.

Bonus stars for the words "in 3-D!" never appearing in this trailer.
Toy Story 3 - Life and Death (spoilers)
11/13/10, 11:04

Evil atheist strawman? Have you been hanging out with those "every Pixar movie has eight billion layers of subtext" kids again?
WWE Vince McMahon Thanksgiving cartoon
11/12/10, 18:20

America: The Animated Series.
Duffman
11/12/10, 16:52

That's also how we got Groundskeeper Willy, Lionel Hutz, Sideshow Mel, Otto and many others. They were all meant to be one-off gag characters until the writers brought them back and expanded on them. Even Itchy and Scratchy began like that.
Let's Play Super Mario 64: Teleporting Through Time and Space!
11/12/10, 14:01

I always heard "So long, King Bowser!"

What with Bowser being king of turtles or whatever.
Pedophilia book pulled from Amazon.com
11/12/10, 11:49

First they came for the pedophiles, and I didn't care because seriously who would care about that.

Then they came for the...no wait, that was the end of it. Amazon never established an evil police state. Which is too bad because I have that free overnight shipping deal with them, so they'd probably put me on the "do not send to the camps" list.

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