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Xenocide

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Comments
Resisting the Green Dragon promo
12/01/10, 13:49

Christianity as an institution has become so divorced from Christianity as a philosophy that they're almost mutually exclusive. The best Christians I know are all people who never go to church.
Resisting the Green Dragon promo
12/01/10, 13:46

From the title I was expecting a how-to video on kicking heroin.
Introducing Donny Pauling, former porn producer, now anti-porn morality officer!
12/01/10, 04:39

Man, what the hell was that? That's not how you do an anti-porn story! You're supposed to have a big dramatic anti-porn revelation moment! You know, something like seeing a starlet have a meth freakout and jump off a balcony, or accidentally walking in on Seymour Buttz while he's raping an underage goat, or you're filming a scene and suddenly a bunch of AIDS falls from the cieling.

But no, your big anti-porn revelation moment was "one day I was driving and I had doubts about some things." Oh, and then I guess a guy from the church came over and you hung out for a couple of days. Spellbinding.

I'm thinking maybe you were kicked out of porn for being too boring.
Cars 2: New Trailer
11/30/10, 20:28

Someone had to tell the world the truth about car bathrooms.
Cars 2: New Trailer
11/30/10, 18:02

A car holding a gun and then firing the gun. With its tire.

I still have faith in Pixar. Someone just needs to backhand Lasseter and then explain to him why the Cars franchise is beneath him.
Police Squad 'How did you get in here?'
11/29/10, 03:10

The Locksmith would be a pretty useful superhero. And an even more useful supervillain.
Nice Beaver
11/29/10, 03:00

Naked Gun was the defining film series of my early adolescence.

When all the other kids were jizzing themselves over whatever is supposed to be special about Star Wars, I was watching Lt. Frank Drebin yell "move along, there's nothing to see here!" while a fireworks factory exploded directly behind him.

Years later I found out the father of one of my best friends had a bit part in Naked Gun 2, during which he gets to utter a single line of dialog to Leslie Nielsen. I met this fellow, and he was not terribly impressive, but I didn't care, because suddenly he served as some sort of link between myself and the man who does not wish to be called Shirley. The man who accidentally kissed Barbara Bush on the mouth in front of the White House press corps. The man some call Buzzam Frog, born on the shores of the Yuralaba River.

Neilson's career really began to take off at a time when most actor's careers are winding down. Here was a man in his 60's whose primary audience was a third his age, and he played to them masterfully. He seemed to understand the difference between aging and becoming old; he did the former, but never appeared to do the latter.

Leslie Neilsen was, and is, one of my heroes. May God rest him.
Flapjack wants to go there
11/28/10, 19:09

I do. As a side effect, there is nothing preventing me from killing Macbeth.
Flapjack wants to go there
11/28/10, 15:49

We all remember the first time we saw a vagina.
'AGM Heartland' - The New Neill Blomkamp Project
11/28/10, 01:43

Hot Dogs: A Love Story
Adventure Time - To the Mesosphere
11/27/10, 00:38

Best cartoon to come along in years. This is why.
Russia Today - 'Who the Hell You Think You Are?'
11/26/10, 20:38

Yeah, you really shouldn't be going to this guy for an accurate take of what's going on with the EU. He's basically taking their bailout problem (which is, make no mistake, pretty serious) and blowing it out of proportion to make it look like part of a calculated attempt at destroying European sovereignty.

Russia Today - 'Who the Hell You Think You Are?'
11/26/10, 18:32

One of the basic lessons of history is that well-spoken lunatics can really go places.
Every anime opening ever made.
11/26/10, 00:34

Every anime is about birds. Especially the porn.
So You Want to Write a Novel
11/25/10, 20:52

That's not true. This time of year, it's mostly copies of Glen Beck's "The Christmas Sweater" and Bunny Suicide Calendars.

It's funny because the bunnies are committing suicide.
So You Want to Write a Novel
11/25/10, 17:33

"I've Seen All of the Harry Potter Movies" was my favorite book of the past year. Odd title for a biography of Robert Kennedy, though.


Big Mirror Melts Rocks
11/23/10, 21:07

Next week: the escalator to nowhere.


I'm proud I lived to see the day when a funny-accented scientist goes on television to terrify the world with his death ray. All my favorite Superfriends episodes have come true!
Charles Bronson Stars In: Killing Hipsters
11/23/10, 19:34

Charles Bronson tried being ironic once. For about two seconds. Then he shot his attempt in the face.
Shameless Product Placement in Demolition Man
11/23/10, 19:05

Welcome to the glorious future dominated by [YOUR PRODUCT'S NAME HERE: $100,000].

Ever since they finally vanquished [YOUR COMPETITOR'S NAME HERE: $150,000] and its executive board of cannibalistic pedophiles, we have enjoyed a perfect society filled with [pick one: REAL CHEWING SATISFACTION/SPEEDY PACKAGE DELIVERY/NEO-GEO GAMES/DISCOUNT WHORES/THE WISDOM OF THE BEES AS TRANSCRIBED BY BURT].

We have fixed the problem of [pick one: MY WIFE CALLING ME SWAMPFOOT/MANKIND'S QUEST FOR A CEREAL WITH THE REFRESHING TASTE OF CLAMS/STEVE JOBS] and succeeded in eradicating [WAR/LIBERALS].

Now, let us blast off into space, on our way to planet [YOUR PRODUCT'S NAME HERE.]
Shameless Product Placement In I, Robot
11/23/10, 18:48

This is missing the scene at the end where Cap'n Crunch bursts into the room without explanation and stops the robot uprising.

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