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Xenocide

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Comments
Green Lantern Trailer
11/19/10, 03:24

In blackest night, in brightest day,
the GL oath is kinda gay
read silently it makes you proud,
but sounds retarded said aloud
unless your acting skill's divine
do not even attempt said line!
Liberalism in 120 Seconds
11/19/10, 00:47

One of my favorite internet stock characters is the fat shut-in who tries to act like a tough guy. Another favorite is the guy who thinks screaming for no reason equals comedy. Combine them, and you've got quite the tasty failure sandwich.
SIX The Mark Unleashed
11/18/10, 20:45

"They got their heads chopped off."

Now imagine Butthead saying that.
Cornell Professor Outbursts at a Student's 'Overly Loud' Yawn
11/18/10, 18:41

But say it in a faux-British accent, as if you were a titled lord outraged at this commoner's indignence.

Be sure to prepare a false name with no more than six hyphens.
Cornell Professor Outbursts at a Student's 'Overly Loud' Yawn
11/18/10, 18:36

He looks rather young to be getting tenure. But maybe Cornell is desperate for kilobyte experts.
Cornell Professor Outbursts at a Student's 'Overly Loud' Yawn
11/18/10, 15:17

A lot of empty seats in that room. And over a quarter million views since this was posted two weeks ago.

Congrats, you prick, you're more popular as an internet douchebag than you will ever be as a professor.
Soviet Era puppet number portraying 'Western' music
11/18/10, 02:14

Phillip Glass, ladies and gentlemen!
Andromeda/Milky Way collision simulation
11/18/10, 02:12

HANS MOLEMAN PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

"MAN GETTING HIT BY ANDROMEDA GALAXY"

(Man stands in middle of field)

(He is suddenly struck by a vast system consisting of billions of stars, in a cataclysmic impact which completely obliterates him down to the last atom. Where the field once stood, there remains nothing but vast, endless nothingness, a reminder of the entropy which will one day consume all that has ever existed.)

Man: Ow. My groin.
Fox News: 'Heaven Is For Real'
11/17/10, 20:46

Yeah, but it'll be the young version of those abortions.
World's Biggest Harry Potter Fan
11/17/10, 20:45

Pendragon's Potions and Pentacles Prom, of course! Harry will be there, and so will Frodo and Spider-Man. And they'll crown this guy King of Magictown once they see all his tshirts.
World's Biggest Harry Potter Fan
11/17/10, 20:42

I don't think that was JK Rowling who signed his book. Looks more like it was someone named Jlclorp.

He is issuing this challenge because he wants friends. :(
How To Talk To Your Kids About Star Wars
11/17/10, 20:31

I already knew Vader was his dad the first time I saw the movie.

I was, however, pretty surprised when the little green muppet turned out to be the master Luke had been looking for the whole time.
Excerpt from Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults
11/17/10, 18:03

Bald guys in grape-themed shirts are another overlooked clue.

WAIT A MINUTE.
Fox News: 'Heaven Is For Real'
11/17/10, 18:01

Oh, that's just because after getting a taste of the incomprehensible ultimate perfection that is Heaven, coming back here to live a lifetime on this flawed, filthy planet is the worst fate imaginable. Having known that brief glimpse of rapturous joy which he can never recapture in this life makes his every moment on Earth worse than a thousand hells.

Up next on Fox and Friends: A little orphan girl who knew what it was like to have loving parents for one glorious hour between the adoption and the car crash. We'll condescend to her right after this!
Fox News: 'Heaven Is For Real'
11/17/10, 17:55

I guess it's the least they can do to take the attention of that kid's last name. I'm not a mean person, but if I had a classmate named "Burpo" in first grade, I would have considered it a divine obligation to make fun of him constantly. You can't waste a chance like that. You just can't.
The Atheist Experience - Proof and evidence that atheism is accurate and correct
11/16/10, 18:31

Fundies vs. Reactionary Atheists is the world's longest, most bitter tennis game.

Except the ball is called "burden of proof," the rackets are long diatribes, and whenever the ball falls on someone's side of the net, he begins loudly insisting that it's actually on the other guy's side.
Hate E-Mails, with Richard Dawkins
11/16/10, 15:55

Oops, that was meant to be a response to Hooker's comment above. See, if God were real, WHY WOULD HE ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.
Hate E-Mails, with Richard Dawkins
11/16/10, 15:54

In theory, I don't buy the "simply a lack of belief" argument, though I respect it. It seems to me that whenever you draw a conclusion about something unknowable, that is a belief. A true neutral position would be to simply not care, or to embrace one's lack of definitive knowledge on the subject as the closest one can get to the truth in this life (if ever.)

In practice, though, you're right. Most atheists, at least in my experience, don't go running around singing the praises of atheism. Those that do, such as Dawkins, have given up any claim they may have had toward neutrality. You can't go around attacking the other side and then say you don't take sides.
Hate E-Mails, with Richard Dawkins
11/16/10, 10:24

Every religion includes the belief that the world would be perfect if everyone would just convert.

It's as laughable when you say it as it is when they say it. Life just isn't that simple.

We want to think it's all cut and dry and that the other side consists entirely of deluded savages, who are the only thing standing in the way of our glimmering utopia. If only it were that easy. If only they really were a bunch of superstitious idiots, and didn't count among their number hundreds of millions of reasonable, intelligent people who simply have reached a different conclusion about the world than you. If only arrogance were the solution instead of humility. The former is in such great supply, after all.


Hate E-Mails, with Richard Dawkins
11/16/10, 09:51

The lovely thing is that over the past decade the real Cosby has basically turned into this.

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