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Xenocide

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Comments
Trailer for 'Gritty' New Mortal Kombat Reboot
06/08/10, 18:15

Because Johnny Cage is TOO VANILLA for Frank Miller presents Rob Liefeld's Grim n' Gritty Mortal Kombat! Only deformed weirdos and exposition-vomiting cops may apply!

Also: Somewhere in the American south there's a person who's never heard of Baraka and thinks they used that name to imply that the president is a serial killer. They will go see this based solely on that assumption.
Trailer for 'Gritty' New Mortal Kombat Reboot
06/08/10, 18:05

It does have a stunning cliche-per-minute count, though. Watch out, George Lucas, your record is under threat.
Ebichu - Ebichuman
06/08/10, 15:24

Directed by the clinically depressed man who created Evangelion!
Officer Jack McLamb on FEMA Death camps, 9/11, Ron Paul
06/08/10, 00:23

I just ran out of my house (praise God) and checked my mailbox for dots.

No dots yet, but there's a beehive underneath it. A GOVERNMENT beehive, no doubt. I think it signifies that they're going to put me in a secret lab where they'll work night and day trying to harvest my sweet, sweet honey.

Oh government, baby, all you've gotta do is ask.
French McDonalds ad
06/08/10, 00:13

First someone would have to explain the punchline to them.
Animated Couch Cushion Angered By American Idol
06/07/10, 22:06

I didn't think people actually did the "NOOOO!" scream in real life.

But then again, this woman is such a cartoon, I think she may actually count as fictional.
Ten Minute Tour of HELL and DEBAUCHERY
06/07/10, 02:44

Duh. The magic spell also cures gay.

Also those cocks in your brain? Now they're vaginas. Just like that.
A comprehensive documentary on the most amazing man in history.
06/07/10, 02:42

Then later, he ran out of money, and was just the third one.
How I Lost My Virginity
06/06/10, 15:20

SOMETIMES THE HORSE RIPS PART OF MY SKIN OFF. I CALL THAT A HUBBA HUBBA.

SOMETIMES IT BUTTFUCKS ME TOO HARD AND I DIE OF INTERNAL BLEEDING. I CALL THAT A YEE HAW.
Ten Minute Tour of HELL and DEBAUCHERY
06/06/10, 07:40

Well, now I know how to deal with the Temptation Skeletons which plague today's youth. Especially the sing-songy ones that show up when you get raped.

Fucking Temptation Skeletons. Go back to Mexico!


Also: The full documentary is called Hell House. It's worth seeing. These people make a different Hell House every year, and devote nearly the entire year to planning each one. Life well spent!
Yatterman is Manly
06/05/10, 23:43

Yes, it is.
Yatterman is Manly
06/05/10, 17:45

The point is, if you've got it....people just seem to know.
Spiderman is Awesome!
06/05/10, 17:44

SPIDER-MAN: DAY ONE

"Now, to begin my career fighting evil! Here I go! FOR JUSTIIIIIII-"

(slams into building at high speed)

Headlines the next day read "MYSTERIOUS MAN-SIZED BLOODY SMEAR FOUND ON SIDE OF SKYSCRAPER. J. Jonah Jameson calls bloody smear a menace, offers reward for its capture."



I watched this like ten times.
Cliff Clavin's standup
06/05/10, 16:19

Cheers was funny because it had a great ensemble cast and they played really well against each other. Basically, it was a show that ran on great character-based humor, a rare beast indeed. There are like two shows on television that still do this. Not that there were any more back then.

(It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Parks and Recreation, in case you were wondering.)
Cancer Has Become the Number One Killer Disease
06/05/10, 04:25

M. Night Shamalan's "THE CANCERING." Coming this summer.

"According to diet food, the ghosts were alive all along!"

"And Avatar the Last Airbender?"

"White! All of them! Don't be afraid!"
Canadian junior high school principal takes out the trash!!!
06/04/10, 15:33

"YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON, PRINCIPAL BADASS! TURN IN YOUR BADGE!"

"Principals don't got badges, superintendent."

"Oh...well, turn in your....chalk!"

"Don't got my chalk."

"Where is it?"

"In storage."

"Storage?"

"This morning the captain of the football team mouthed off to me, so I made him eat it."

(Principal Badass lights a cigarette, electric guitar solo plays.)
Late '70s TV news report on Rocky Horror.
06/04/10, 15:17

The Rocky Horror people are fun because they know it's a cheesy crappy movie, but they enjoy it on those terms. So they don't really take it, or themselves, very seriously. There's your difference; basically every other cosplay fandom thinks dressing up like Sephiroth or whoever is an extremely important, serious affair and no one may dare taint it with mirth or levity.

Late '70s TV news report on Rocky Horror.
06/04/10, 15:13

Cults? Yes, being obsessed with a bad movie is exactly like a cult. The only difference between these guys and Jonestown is the makeup.

I think maybe you're just confused and angered by the unfamiliar sight of a group of people getting together for a good time.
A community college professor reads Anne Locke
06/04/10, 06:55

Anne Locke would like to thank you for coming out here today, but she will not be requiring your services.
Can Big Girls Fly?
06/04/10, 06:49

I'm not sure why they felt the need to insert the sounds of a half dozen dying buffalo into the last ten seconds.

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