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Xenocide

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Comments
Genius Plans To Fix The California Economy
01/28/10, 03:34

Lady, if we suddenly found ourselves in Perfect World where we can make a flawless pesticide that's actually good for you, why would we stop there?

I say we should build an Infinite Food Machine out of spare parts left over from the Immortality Gun (it shoots immortality) during our lunch break from our job at the Pure Joy Factory. Then we can all sit down in our blowjob chairs and relax after a job well done.

California's coming back!
Crime reporter: man had sex with wife thousands of times before killing her
01/26/10, 17:57

Sometimes they would watch TV.
MyStocks: Ball commercial
01/26/10, 14:23

I enjoy the singing retard at the end.
Ginger Kid rants to haters
01/26/10, 14:05

Awwwww, he thinks he's people.
MyStocks: Hedgehog commercial
01/26/10, 03:23

I guess we could use our backup method, but lately the urinating monkey hasn't even bothered to aim at any of the industry names we write on the walls. He just pisses all over the place. It's terribly undignified.
Wal-Mart Clown Commercial
01/26/10, 02:20

Karma is swift and merciless for those who shop at Wal-Mart.
Jeff Garlin in a local ad
01/25/10, 05:52

He is a famous actor. That is why he needed to inform you that he is a famous actor.

I love that the entire pitch is "There are many mortgage guys around here. My brother in law is one of them! Well, bye!"
Wouldn't it be nice if all dead babies went to heaven?
01/24/10, 19:52

Very young children are not the same as babies, though. It's one thing to ponder the afterlife prospects of a small child (who is, basically, a tiny, super-concentrated ball of selfishness) who lies and steals once he is able to understand that he shouldn't do these things; it's another to ask about the fate of a person who is totally incapable of such actions, or incapable of much else aside from pooping.

The guy was very sneaky here, as he shifted the discussion away from babies and unto children, then used the false premise that the two are interchangeable to attack her.
Wouldn't it be nice if all dead babies went to heaven?
01/24/10, 19:47

THINGS I LEARNED FROM THIS GUY:

a) Retards are the same as babies.

b) The Bible confirms that John the Baptist was a Time Lord.

c) All dogs are superior to all babies.

d) IT'S A TOUGH ISSUE

e) Christians would be naturally inclined toward mass infant holocausts if the Bible had just given them an excuse.

The Simpsons - Homer's Hand Gets Stuck in the Toaster
01/24/10, 15:30

This was the greatest Simpsons Halloween short of them all.
Jon Stewart vs. Keith Olbermann
01/22/10, 16:11

Enjoy is now a good person. Everyone update your charts.
Jon Stewart vs. Keith Olbermann
01/22/10, 13:58

Yeah I don't know why this didn't work. Someone should post the actual clip, though. It is delightful.
Keith Olbermann - Supreme Court Sanctioned Murder Of Democracy
01/22/10, 11:28

Well, let's see. This ruling basically says that corporations are people, and deserve the same speech rights as I do. Except that they're special magical people who don't have to obey the law, since you can't jail a corporation for killing someone, or robbing someone, or giving someone cancer or generally shitting on the common person in search of profits. The most you can do is fine them, and even that is dicey because they have enough lawyers and enough money to absorb almost any blow the government can deal them.

Essentially, this ruling has made every actual, human American into a second-class citizen. So rather than taking away the rights of some people, it cripples the rights of ALL people. Does that sound sufficient enough to warrant a comparison to you?
Batman shilling Onstar
01/22/10, 02:07

I guess there's only so many riddles you can make which carry the answer "I'm knocking over a bank again."

Eventually Riddler is going to be reduced to asking stuff like "What's the name of a place that's full of money which I would like to steal?"
July4Patriot: 1st POW of the Second American Revolution
01/22/10, 02:02

Do it, Teabaggers. Make it your mission to get the child molester released. Tell everyone that you're proudly standing up for your friend the violent pedophile. It's the best PR move you guys can make, trust me.
MST3k - Servo sings about the superbad 70s and 50s
01/21/10, 19:00

A close second to Goosio.

Everyone hurry up and hop on the Emperor Claudius nostalgia bandwagon before it becomes all mainstream and kitschy.
Conan Wastes NBC's Money
01/21/10, 13:27

This scorched-earth style of quitting one's job intrigues me.

I hope in the last episode, Conan uses NBC's money to build a bridge, then burn it.
Douchebag Auditions for American Idol
01/21/10, 13:23

Sometimes fake is better.
Chris Chan participating in Pokemania
01/21/10, 13:11

What's special about Joltion? He's been wondering that himself for years.
Fantastic 4 Cartoon - Ghost Rider vs. Galactus
01/21/10, 01:07

Few things are more challenging than making a flaming metal skeleton on a motorcycle seem gay. But here at Marvel, we're up to the task!

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