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Xenocide

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Comments
Creationist teaches children knowledge is basically impossible.
01/12/10, 17:46

Knowledge actually is impossible in Australia.

Los Simpsons - Zutroy
01/12/10, 17:44

Zutroy gazing longingly at the penny.
Baby Talk with George Clooney
01/12/10, 09:56

Not mine. Mine was when I created, produced and starred in Two and a Half Men.
Instant karma in a Burger King
01/11/10, 21:45

The universe hates you. And it should.
Antiques Roadshow - A Disappointing Appraisal
01/11/10, 10:05

My favorite is the "collector's edition" DVD; you can find dozens marked with that phrase in the dollar bin of any Blockbuster.
Antiques Roadshow - A Disappointing Appraisal
01/11/10, 10:01

Man, that's how Roadshow works, though. You either get the buildup to a sweet payoff by listing all the cool things about an object, or you get the heartbreaking reversal when the appraiser spends three minutes discussing all the neat things about a piece and then ends with ".....or that's what would be interesting about this object if it weren't a Taiwanese knockoff made in 2007. Next!"
Xenosaga - Ziggurat 8's 'Exit Plan.'
01/10/10, 23:40

MEANWHILE, ON THE PLANET JESUS:

"Greetings, my lord! I, Elijah Tencommandments, have come from the Whore of Babylon Nebula to warn you that the Sacrament-bots of the planet Vatican II are planning to invade!"

"We must warn President Catholicism at once!"

AT THAT VERY MOMENT, ZIGGY IS ORDERING A FINE MEAL AT HIS FAVORITE RESTAURANT, THE HUNGRY PAPIST.

Ziggy: ....and for dessert, I'll have the special, please.

Waiter: (clears throat)

Ziggy: Like I said, the special.

Waiter: (clears throat, insistently.)

Ziggy: (rolls eyes) Fine. I'll have (sighs) the Immaculate Confection.

Waiter: I'll have the chef cruci-fix that right up for you!

Ziggy: And now you know why I want to die.
Xenosaga Panty Shot Montage
01/10/10, 23:23

"From a mormon family" is the most common insane person/evil supervillain origin. Just ask Mitt Romney and Glenn Beck.

Anyway, this video leaves out the fact that in the first Xenocidesaga you can turn Momo into a magical anime girl in battle, and doing this renders her totally nude during the transformation sequence.

Japan is the world's wacky sitcom neighbor.
Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief New Trailer
01/10/10, 23:17

With an iPod.

Then at the end, Percy's using an ipod to kill the Medusa.

I can't wait until the end, when the law-fat taste of Subway sandwiches defeats Hades, and the gods celebrate by switching to T-Mobile.
Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief New Trailer
01/10/10, 23:15

"This is a pen."

"THIS IS A PEN."

PERCY JACKSON TEACHES JAPANESE KIDS ENGLISH.
'Edarem's sentencing did not go well.'
01/09/10, 22:35

Someone out there wasn't praying hard enough.

He knows who he is, and he knows what he did. And he'll pay.
Baby Talk-Intro
01/09/10, 16:44

Wikipedia reports that George Clooney was on this show during its first season, but then they fired him.

When he dies, the headline will read "GEORGE CLOONEY: NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR BABY TALK." Next to it they'll run a still from Batman and Robin to justify this assessment.
Glenn Beck is a Raving Freakazoid Nut Sandwich
01/09/10, 04:27

A sandwich with just nuts in it? That sounds terrible.

I remember a time....a simpler time....when America's sandwiches had meat and cheese in them. Back then we didn't need the government to provide us with sandwiches or advise us on nut safety. If we wanted a sandwich, we made it ourselves.

And raving was all about self-reliant, hard-working Americans, waving their arms around to techno music while bombed out of their minds on Ecstasy, and then getting STD's. That was a noble time, before government raves ruined everything.

And Freakazoid. Wasn't that cartoon great? Before....(wipes away an imaginary tear)....before Obama personally canceled it and used the animators' paychecks to give terrorists fair trials? Maybe....(forced sob) maybe it's too late to save that America. Or maybe it's time we took our country back from the communist Freakazoid haters who insist that climate change is real and that Goof Troop was a better cartoon.

I'm sorry but I just love sandwiches, raves and Warner Brothers so much! And I...FEAR FOR THEM. (explodes into a cacophony of fake weeping)
Drunk school bus driver
01/09/10, 02:58

As a kid, I asked for a Sega Saturn for Christmas.
Drunk school bus driver
01/09/10, 02:53

She really showed some leadership skills there.

In fact, if this bus lady had been smart, she would have jumped up once things got out of hand and said "Congratulations! You have all passed the school's secret crisis management scenario course! Gold stars all around!"

Unfortunately, she'd have forgotten to stop the bus while making this speech, and the whole thing ends like a Toonces the Driving Cat sketch.
The Simpsons - I Am Evil Homer
01/09/10, 02:43

She could in the past, though it required a bit more effort on the part of the writers ("It's okay, that isn't your fault, it's a bird thing. You don't control the birds. You will someday, but not now.") But now all her scenes suck. Which is also true of everyone else, of course.
Kate's Party
01/08/10, 20:16

The second Hygenie walks into a room, the music stops. And so does the fun. Forever.

Now keep quiet while she shames you about your skateboard and makes the nerdy kid cry.
The Simpsons - I Am Evil Homer
01/08/10, 20:02

Lisa's bewilderment at being the only sane person in her town is this show's most overlooked comedy resource. Her blank stares and general exasperation make everyone else several times funnier.
The Simpsons - I Am Evil Homer
01/08/10, 20:00

This is the clip I will play for the aliens when they get here and ask me to justify the existence of my species.

The Sopranos: Livia's Wake
01/08/10, 16:58

3:08: Wha? Oh, hey, there's a secret old lady hidden behind us!

(secret doorway chime from Zelda plays)

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