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Xenocide

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Comments
Smoking is very bad for your health.
12/17/09, 00:52

Little did he suspect that cigarette terrorists were about to fly a cancer plane into the twin towers he calls his lungs.
Dick Armey sneers at ‘a woman named Maddox’ who ‘has a Ph.D. in something that doesn’t matter.’
12/16/09, 03:40

Later tonight, he'll lovingly caress a photo of Rachel while choking back tears.
Photographers Are We.
12/15/09, 18:02

I knew I had to buy some time. So I asked him to sing the complete score from "The HMS Pinafore."
Alan Grayson Has A Message For Dick Cheney
12/15/09, 17:58

Grayson is a superhero.
The Slush Puppie Factory is Horrifying, Obnoxious
12/15/09, 03:55

Gilbert and Sullivan are quite happy to have died when they did.
Lady language teachers caught bumpin' doughnuts by janitor
12/14/09, 20:57

He doesn't read the newspaper, but today he had a newspaper in his hand.

This was a big event for him.
Persepolis: Iron Maiden
12/13/09, 23:37

In the book, she listened to Kids in America. Her movie self is clearly more refined.
Persepolis: Iron Maiden
12/13/09, 23:35

I think she's just a really good liar. Either way, it is hilarious, and Marjane Satrapi is awesome in general.

Nightmare on Drug Street
12/13/09, 15:33

Don't worry, kid, crack is all you need now. Crack tastes better than pizza, and it'll steal ALL your underwear.
Rock N' Wrestling: Andre's Giant Problem
12/12/09, 20:23

BORING NORMAL LIFE:

"My mom's coming. She doesn't know what I do for a living."

"So tell her."

"Okay."

AWESOME CARTOON WRESTLER LIFE:

"My mom's coming. She doesn't know what I do for a living."

"We'd better lie like crazy, then! Come on, gang! Time to commit fraud! Elaborate fraud!"

"Oooh! Oooh! Can the elaborate fraud be really unconvincing?"

"You bet it can!"
Tripwire prank goes exactly as planned.
12/12/09, 16:51

Douchebag University, where everyone majors in head injuries! Coming soon to The CW!
Usher vs. Goat That Yells Like Man
12/12/09, 16:47

Someone get that goat a recording contract and a sitcom.
Jhonen Vasquez reads an angry email in front of an audience
12/11/09, 23:59

My hate is like a tidal wave. My love is like the tide. That warmth you feel within yourself is cause I've crawled inside.
The Sorcerer's Apprentice -trailer
12/11/09, 06:04

COMING SOON:

NICHOLAS CAGE IS A SINGING DUTCH BOY IN:

IT'S A SMALL WORLD


NICHOLAS CAGE IS THE HIPPO, AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SHOOTS AT THE HIPPO IN:

JUNGLE CRUISE

NICHOLAS CAGE IS BARACK OBAMA, GROVER CLEVELAND, AND MARY TODD LINCOLN IN:

THE HALL OF PRESIDENTS

NICHOLAS CAGE IS TEDIOUS IN:

THE 70 MINUTE LINE


NICHOLAS CAGE IS A GODDAMN MOUNTAIN IN SPACE EVEN THOUGH THAT MAKES NO SENSE IN:

SPACE MOUNTAIN


NICHOLAS CAGE IS THE FUN AND EXCITEMENT OF FLYING DELTA AIRLINES IN:

THAT ONE RIDE SPONSORED BY DELTA AIRLINES THAT NOBODY LIKES


SEE ALL SIX FILMS, GET FREE LARGE POPCORN TOPPED WITH YOUR GODDAMN HONEY.
The Sorcerer's Apprentice -trailer
12/11/09, 05:59

Well at least they didn't try to jam in a scene where a bunch of marching brooms flood the placeOH FUCK MY GOAT THEY DID.
Jhonen Vasquez reads an angry email in front of an audience
12/11/09, 05:06

It's so easy to hate Jhonen, but then I realize the man is cursed with fans like this, who he will never fully escape, and it's clear to me that he's suffered enough.
MacGyver Cat Intro
12/11/09, 04:11

"Thank you, adventure cat! But how did you figure out where the bomb was hidden and disarm it in time?"

"MEOW."

"Really? And all just two popsicle sticks and a cuff link? Wow!"
Ultima IX - The Death of Lord British
12/10/09, 21:15

Bitch had it coming. Acting all high and mighty with his huge beard.
MacGyver Cat Intro
12/10/09, 21:10

Cats live lives of excitement and adventure, even allowing for 18 hours a day of sleep.
How 'Mallard Fillmore' Is Made
12/10/09, 13:39

"Research." He wants us to believe he does hours of research.

Replace "research" with "whiskey" and perhaps there's some truth to that.

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