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Xenocide

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Comments
Mama Lucia Meatballs
08/09/14, 18:20

God, she'll just fuck anywhere, won't she?
Pony without Pony
08/09/14, 15:46

In retrospect, the shotgun owner should have been Granny Smith. She bought it after she heard a Zebra moved into town.
Pony without Pony
08/09/14, 04:08

Newton invented gravity AFTER the apple fell on him, dummy.

Until then, things only fell at the whim of God, or the occasional telekenetic supervillain (a major social problem in 17th Century Cambridge.)
Pony without Pony
08/09/14, 04:05

With nothing else left to him, Spike goes through the motions of his old life, trying in vain to convince himself that nothing has changed.

Each episode consists of him having one-sided conversations with a pile of leaves he calls "Rarity." Meanwhile, just out of focus in the background, Twilight's old shotgun sits temptingly on the shelf. There's one shell left. Spike knows that it can only be so long until he can no longer resist its call. But he won't do it yet.

He'll hold off until the climax of a big musical number.
Night Court: Star Trek
08/09/14, 04:01

This is basically every single episode of The Big Bang Theory.
Internet Vlogger Attempts to Internet In Real Life, Rapidly Develops Existential Crisis
08/08/14, 16:13

"Are you drunk, or just a knob?"

I don't know who that girl is, but she's a hero. Meanwhile Mustache Guy stands off to the side acting like the internet was invented last week and wondering why no one wants his autograph.
Christian broadcaster: Ebola could cleanse US of atheism, homosexuality, sexual promiscuity
08/08/14, 14:37

Keeps dishes spotless! In the sense that when everyone is dead there will be no one to get the dishes dirty.
Gravity Falls - Public Access TV
08/07/14, 15:03

Its not on Netflix, which is weird because all of Disney Channel's other shows end up there.

But whatever, go find a torrent or something. The second season just started and it's kicking ass (and doing an amazing job of quickly and efficiently doing away with the very few problems the first season had.)
Russian Man Controls the Ducks
08/06/14, 17:34

I guess there is room for him in our modern world after all.
Karl Pilkington Tries to Tease Out A Logic Puzzle With Predictable Results
08/06/14, 05:55

Those comics fucking cheated all the time.

"Slylock Fox knows Shady Shrew is lying because he is carrying a carton of milk, but Shady is lactose intolerant, a trait we have never previously mentioned."

"Slylock Fox knows Shady Shrew is lying because he threw his back out during the qualifiers for the 1996 Olympic Decathlon, as you can clearly infer from the lack of gold medals hung on his wall."

"SLYLOCK FOX KNOWS SHADY SHREW IS LYING BECAUSE HE LIES EVERY FUCKING WEEK. THAT IS LITERALLY THE ONLY THING HE EVER DOES. YOU CHILDREN ARE SO GODDAMN STUPID. I'VE BEEN DRAWING THIS COMIC FOR 40 YEARS AND I STILL MAKE LESS THAT THE HI AND LOIS GUY."
Anti-molly PSA that is required viewing to enter some rave in New York
08/06/14, 01:51

Nah, he just became a lumberjack.
Karl Pilkington Tries to Tease Out A Logic Puzzle With Predictable Results
08/06/14, 01:49

I did actually think that up, though I'm sure I'm not even close to the first person to do so.
Karl Pilkington Tries to Tease Out A Logic Puzzle With Predictable Results
08/06/14, 00:10

YOU DID NOT WRITE LABYRINTH, RICKY GERVAIS, QUIT PRETENDING.

Also, the "correct" answer is needless logician grandstanding. What you really do is flip the guards off and then ask one of them "How many fingers am I holding up?" If he says anything but "one," he's guarding Hell.

Be sure to hold that gesture as you walk into Heaven because God's been telling people that entry into paradise was a matter of moral worthiness for 2,000 years, only for the whole thing to be determined by some Riddler bullshit. That's a mean trick, God.
Alison Lundergan Grimes insults Mitch McConnel to his face for eight minutes
08/05/14, 18:29

She also does a good job of bringing up issues that even the conservatives can't bring themselves to jeer. Listen to the boos die out as soon as she mentions collective bargaining.
Some guy made a video for a girl on OKCupid
08/04/14, 20:41

I hope Red Panda didn't have anything planned for tomorrow besides getting murdered.
Death Bed: The Bed that Eats - The Entire Thing
07/30/14, 20:24

So this bed eats the entire thing?

ALL of it?
Almost in Hell
07/30/14, 15:09

I see the conservative flock is switching from forced Obama jokes to forced Hillary jokes precisely on schedule.
Waiting for a Relationship & Marriage
07/30/14, 03:31

It is the crucible of relationships, the place where love goes to die. Try their hush puppies!
To Serve Man
07/30/14, 00:02

Oh, I get it. It's about the opening move in the game of Tennis.
Official song of Hamas 'Death to Israel'
07/30/14, 00:01

The difference is that Israeli civilians largely support what their government is doing. Hamas isn't all that popular among Palestinian civilians, but Israel drops bombs on them anyway (just to be safe, you know.)

So it's more like: Side A is horrible, Side B is horrible, and Side C just wants to be left alone or possibly allowed to evacuate, but then Side B goes "you wouldn't shoot Side C, would you?" and Side A goes "OH YEAH?" and blows them up.

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