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Xenocide

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Comments
Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare Funeral Scene
11/03/14, 01:00

I demand to see this scene remade in Animal Crossing, as Christ intended.
Bill Maher Responds to UC Berkeley Petition
11/03/14, 00:58

So first you complain about the Islams (always blowin' things up!) then you pivot into "these opinions are dumb because they came from the online internet!"

With this rant, Bill Mahr has officially entered his cranky grandpa period.
Marvel Comics: Ultron Explained
11/02/14, 16:03

BEGIN!

Ultron is a mean robot.

THE END!
Anita Sarkeesian on Colbert Report
10/31/14, 01:39

There is no fucking "gamer subculture" anymore. Video games are completely ubiquitous now. Practically everyone under 50 plays games in some capacity; calling people who play video games "gamers" is redundant as hell; you may as well call people who enjoy music "songers" or something.

What we're seeing here is a group of obsessive losers whose lives revolve around video games and who think that somehow you don't count as a player of video games, and have no right to an opinion about them, unless you also spend every waking moment playing Call of Duty or whatever the latest overhyped AAA sequel is.

That's not a "gamer subculture" that's a small obsessive fandom that happens to revolve around a certain type of game. Saying that others have "no stake" in games because their consumption patterns don't follow yours is fucking laughable.

The term "gamer" was only valuable when video games were obscure. Those days are long behind us: everyone is a gamer now. And that's what pisses Gamergaters off. They can't feel like special little snowflakes anymore now that everyone on Earth knows who Mario is.
Guy tells cop 'God bless you,' cop loses it
10/29/14, 23:00

Yeah, this kid is totally an asshole for not letting a bully get his way.
The Unbelievably Sweet Alpacas
10/29/14, 03:36

Damn, that's some a-list voice talent.

I want a whole series where these alpacas confront the many, many ways in which modern American capitalism is a crumbling sham. Every week they write a letter to Princess Peruvia where they express their all-consuming disillusionment and take her to task for the lies she told them about the American Dream being within their reach. Eventually they just start sending her anthrax envelopes.
Jell-O Pudding
10/26/14, 22:51

Y'SEE THEO, THE JELLO PUDDING SAYS IT'S FAT FREE, BUT IT'S A LIAR. IT JUST LIES ALL THE TIME. A LOT OF THESE PUDDINGS, THEY SAY THE DARNDEST THING, LIKE, "I WAS DRUGGED SO I COULDN'T HAVE GIVEN CONSENT." YOU JUST CAN'T TRUST THESE PUDDINGS, RUDY. THAT'S WHY YOUNG BLACK MEN NEED TO STOP ACTIN' LIKE THUGS, AND START USING KODAK FILM. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, GHOST DAD JUNIOR.
Reproductive System Chant from Elementary School Children's textbook
10/23/14, 20:28

No one's going to top this comment.
Avengers: Age of Ultron Official Trailer #1 (2015)
10/23/14, 20:14

Iron Man goes to Pleasure Island, gets drunk as fuck.

Wakes up as Iron Donkey. No need to pay Robert Downey JR $30 million a picture anymore when you can just CGI up a wacky talking burro for all future installments. He will be voiced by Sinbad.
Avengers: Age of Ultron Official Trailer #1 (2015)
10/23/14, 20:11

I was actually worried that they'd shoehorn the Guardians of the Galaxy into this movie, but it looks like they dodged that bullet. I'm sure they'll get a forced cameo or something.

Like maybe Hawkeye is fighting killer robots and they corner him at the edge of a cliff, and it looks like he's a goner. But right then it cuts to a card reading "MEANWHILE IN SPACE," and then we cut to Starlord and Rocket Raccoon and the cast of Watchmen all dancing to the greatest hits of The Jackson Five, and Starlord turns to the camera and says, "AND THEN HAWKEYE DIED!" Roll closing credits.
Avengers: Age of Ultron Official Trailer #1 (2015)
10/23/14, 20:04

This concludes our official government census of People Who Do Not Care About a Movie.

Thank God we finally have this vital information. Now we can bomb Syria.
Andrew Klavan: Why Do Blacks Vote for Democrats?
10/23/14, 02:41

Notice the total absence of black civil rights leaders or segregationists in this tool's history lesson. Gee, he's uncomfortable with giving blacks even the slightest credit for their own liberation.

The Republican narrative has always been "we saved you ungrateful darkies from slavery, so you owe us your votes until the end of time." And they are honestly baffled with black people find that attitude insulting.
Rainbow Brite (reboot) - Trailer
10/22/14, 23:28

I support your choices, Transsexual Rainbow Dash.
Arthur's New Friend, ANDY
10/22/14, 20:43

"And here's me with the president," Arthur said with a smug grin. ANDY wondered why he was friends with such a name-dropping little shithead.
poeTV Learns Safety: Canadian robot child, Astar, recklessly plays around on Planet Danger
10/21/14, 13:09

HI ASTAR A ROBOT, I'M DAD.
Misogyny Theater: Davis Aurini in Women Are Flitting Dogs
10/21/14, 04:22

Only if prostitutes agreed to conform to the following script:

1) Arrive in gamer's basement home

2) Play against him in video game of choice

3) Lose.

4) Throughout session, prostitute must loudly proclaim that it's no use, she can't possibly match his superior man reflexes, this is why girls aren't real gamers, that's just science.

5) In order to induce orgasm in her client, prostitute must burn a photo of Anita Sarkeesian (this will be provided.)
The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXV Ending
10/20/14, 22:47

This last short wasn't very funny, but I give them props for it being technically excellent. The "original" Simpsons were actually animated in the style of the first season, with that weird mouth pucker when they say their "o's" and Bart's head and eyes occasionally going in different directions. Dan Castalanetta even did an excellent job recapturing Homer's original Walter Mathaiu-voice for Homer.

But once they got everyone in the same room, the writers had no idea what to do with them all. So it just became a bunch of predictable jokes about each of them killing each other, because Halloween.
My Little Joanie
10/15/14, 13:30

This is really disappointing. If they don't even know that Fonz was never on JLC, they probably also don't realize that Mork and Mindy takes place 20 years in the future from Richie's perspective, or that Mork's first appearance was non-canon.

Dammit, Hub, how could you not know your Fonzieverse continuity? This gives me serious doubts about their upcoming Happy Days Into Darkness reboot.
7th Heaven - Ruthie Dancing
10/09/14, 22:31

The original cut of this episode featured a rap song here, but they changed it after it caused 90% of the show's target audience to empty their assault rifles into the TV. When questioned, they said they felt "threatened."
Goomba Got Back With TheLivingTombstone
10/09/14, 19:18

Hey guys, I just made it back from the future. I'm sad to report that over 5 billion people have died in the Ebola/Peak Oil/Maltese Hegemony Wars of 2027. After Malta nuked the entire Earth as revenge for the murder of Goosio, nearly every last trace of human culture was destroyed. The only remanent of the past was this video. In the coming new society, at least five religions are based around it. People are fighting holy wars over how to properly masturbate to the goomba's tits. There are thousands of pages of theological conjecture over what a "gold crown shroom" is.

You could have prevented this by electing Mike Huckabee in 2008, you know.

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