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Xenocide

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Comments
Proof that Satan puts unholy thoughts in your mind to make you sin
04/06/14, 19:56

Duuuuuh, it's the company's fault for making you want grapes so much!
VICE - Permanently Temporary
04/06/14, 19:50

B-BUT THAT WOULD BE SOCIALISM.
David Letterman Announces His Retirement
04/04/14, 17:17

Craig's style of humor isn't really fit for the whitebread bland party that the 11:30 slot has turned into. This is the slot that Jay Leno's aggressive mediocrity dominated for over a decade, and NBC decided Conan was too edgy for.

Ferguson is awesome because he's on TV late enough that he can do basically whatever he wants. The lack of structure or network notes is what his show thrives on. Put him at 11:30 and that would all go to hell.
Jeopardy Contestant Has Criticism for Alex Trebek
04/03/14, 20:58

I went to Bangladesh about ten years ago, and realized that what these poor brown people needed was a heroic white man to rescue them with a preachy movie. I'm sure they'll be building a statue of me within a week's time.
Marvel Disc Wars: The Avengers
04/03/14, 15:20

ACTUAL PLOT SUMMARY FOR AN UPCOMING EPISODE OF THE AMERICAN AVENGERS CARTOON:

"While Iron Man and Ant-Man are trying to stabilize particles that can shrink or grow matter, Falcon gives them terrible news - his mom is coming to visit and she has no idea he's an Avenger!"
Marvel Disc Wars: The Avengers
04/03/14, 15:00

And there came a day unlike any other, when Earth's mightiest heroes found themselves united against a common threat. Everyone was really excited about it.

Except Japan, which shrugged and said, "Eh, maybe if all of them were Digimons."
Pat Robertson: Sweden is just like North Korea
04/03/14, 12:41

I've read that there's a secret clause in Obamacare that allows the government to send abortionists to your house to abort your healthy white child while you sleep.

I read that just now, as soon as I was done typing it.
Pat Robertson: Sweden is just like North Korea
04/03/14, 12:30

PROPER SPELLING ISN'T METAL.
Anita Sarkeesian Receives Game Developers' Ambassador Award
04/03/14, 12:27

A woman is complaining about video games, despite the fact that she hasn't played every video game ever made? CALL THE YOUTUBE POLICE.

Actually, I could probably cut the second clause out of that first sentence and get a good summation of the internet's main objection to these videos.

Your debut novel needs a little work, BHWW. Have you thought of adding some sexy werewolves?
Anita Sarkeesian Receives Game Developers' Ambassador Award
04/03/14, 12:12

OMG FAKE NERD GIRL. I bet she doesn't even know every Pokemon's max level stats by heart.
Stripped- Trailer
04/03/14, 00:19

This looks terrific. Bill Waterson drew his first publicly-released artwork in 19 years for the poster.

It's even got the lady from Cathy! Cathy is terrible!

Fun fact: The final Cathy strip ends with our heroine announcing she is pregnant with a girl, and there is a little thought balloon coming from her stomach that says "Aaack!"
Fedsmoker Runs Afoul of a Lifeguard
04/02/14, 18:15

The esoteric sequel to "Itchy Runs Afoul of an Irishman."
Legend Of Oz: Dorothy's Return Official Trailer: Straight to DVD (2013)
03/31/14, 23:16

Not straight to DVD; this pile has been getting posters in theaters for the last year and a half, due to the studio continually pushing the release date back. It's getting released in May, unless they delay it again.

Anyway, this is one of the most tone-deaf adaptions of anything I've ever seen. Yeah, guys, when people think "Oz" they totally think of Dorothy fighting a Joker knockoff while a fat bird stands by to provide butt jokes.
The Real Life Adventures of Balrog
03/28/14, 12:15

Japan still uses the original name because they can get away with it. Tyson would have a much harder time suing them in Japan than he would over here.

So I think Capcom is safe as long as Balrog's new win quote isn't "HELLO I AM THE ACTUAL MIKE TYSON AND THE EVENTS OF THIS GAME ALL REALLY HAPPENED TO ME. ONE TIME I THREW A BABY INTO A SHARK TANK FOR LAUGHS."
Rick and Morty - Ants in my Eyes Johnson Commercial
03/27/14, 22:43

I liked the one where Data Analysis Cosby got the weird TV that picked up broadcasts from outer space.

Seriously, though, this show is great. I love this bit in particular, the way it starts as a dumb joke and just festers until it gets genuinely disturbing and sad by the end, but then our heroes' vacant smiles bring it all back to hilarious. That is known as a COMEDY SLINGSHOT, and it is among the most difficult legal maneuvers in the sport.
TMNT:The Movie-teaser
03/27/14, 19:08

YOU'RE ALL JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE MICHAEL BAY GETS TO DREAM FOR A LIVING.
TMNT:The Movie-teaser
03/27/14, 19:07

I just can't get over the idea that someone would create ninja turtles ON PURPOSE. Was April's dad not aware that there are some animals which are naturally fast and stealthy? Was he so busy humping science that he never learned what a cat was?
Coyote Ugly Bar Riot Scene
03/25/14, 18:21

The Cheers bars are still around. They're now owned by the Marriot hotel chain and the plan is to stick them in hotels throughout the world. No idea about the Norm and Cliff bots, though. My google search for more information just turned up the beautiful headline, "Norm and Cliff Fight Cheers Robots."
Coyote Ugly Bar Riot Scene
03/25/14, 18:14

All these sailors were trying to fight the moonlight. But it turns out you can't do that.
X-Men: Days of Future Past Trailer 2
03/25/14, 00:44

ACTUAL SPOILER FOR CAPTAIN AMERICA 2:

Disney stuck their Quicksilver in the post-credits stinger for this movie, just so he could beat Fox's version to theaters by a few months.

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