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Xenocide

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Comments
Star Trek TNG 23: Shame on you, Mr. Clemens
05/14/09, 01:32

The best Star Trek is the spinoff where time-traveling Mark Twain teams up with the gay doctor from Enterprise to fight astro-commies on the moon.

This experience inspires Twain to write "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County."
Jesse Ventura: Give Me a Waterboard, Dick Cheney and One Hour
05/13/09, 23:47

Jesse Ventura beat 9/11 to death with his pinky.

Meanwhile Chuck Norris was busy making a web ad where he supports mandatory prayer at gunpoint in our public schools. Because he's a pussy.
Michelle Malkin on Obama's National Day of Prayer
05/13/09, 23:44

MORE LIKE 9/11 DAY AM I RIGHT?

Fun fact: Islam Day is a totally meaningless feel-good proclamation by the Hawaii legislature and absolutely no public festivities of any kind are planned.
Michelle Malkin on Obama's National Day of Prayer
05/13/09, 23:43

Obama refuses to make his religion into a commercial! HAS HE NO DIGNITY.

Also: Cinco De Mayo! He likes the Mexicans!

Star Trek TNG 23: Shame on you, Mr. Clemens
05/13/09, 23:41

No the best one, but still made me chuckle.
Obama is a CANNIBAL
05/13/09, 23:38

Notice how he won't eat Florida. Even cannibals have standards.
How To Win At Guess Who
05/13/09, 21:27

Amateurs. A professional Guess Who player would never make such a pedestrian error.
Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles
05/13/09, 20:12

This is a great game. Yahtzee's complaints are all right on the money but they're all focused on really minor points. The blink-and-you'll-miss-it "oh yeah also this game was pretty fun in parts" admission seems to hint that he knows this too.

But he also knows that he's much more fun when he's bitching about something than when he likes it or has mixed feelings, so bully for self-awareness.
Jesse Ventura: Give Me a Waterboard, Dick Cheney and One Hour
05/13/09, 20:02

I demand a steel cage waterboard match between Cheney and Ventura. Winner gets to be #30 in the congressional Royal Rumble to determine who replaces David Souter.

Seriously, why the fuck doesn't this man have his own show? He's a thousand times more entertaining than any talking head on any network.
The Princess and the Frog - official trailer
05/13/09, 13:25

Yeah, I saw the old teaser. In fact, I commented on it on this very website! Yes, this one, right here!

The retarded mosquito thing was stupid, and seems to have been almost totally axed from the film thanks to response to the teaser. That is a great thing. But that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the phenomenon of people rushing to be offended by trivial things like people dancing and singing or doing magic or having accents in a Disney movie.

It would be one thing if these elements had never appeared in a cartoon before, but since they've been in pretty much every cartoon this studio's ever made, you're left with the attitude that it's okay when white princesses and indians and arabs and talking lions and Tarzan and brave little toasters do it, but when blacks do the exact same thing, suddenly it's offensive.

Fuck that. I just don't want to see this film scrubbed of any charm or personality it might have by the outrage police.
The Princess and the Frog - official trailer
05/13/09, 08:51

Yeah, this entire controversy has been going on for a year and a half now. The movie has gone through dozens of rewrites and a title change to try and please everyone, but it's all hopeless because people are going to take one look at it, go "What sport! A cartoon with black people!" and will not stop looking until they find something to be outraged about, no matter how small or idiotic.

Oh, gee, there's a voodoo priest? In a movie set in a magical fairy tale New Orleans? CRAZY RACIST!

The characters dance and sing...IN A MUSICAL? THIS IS WORSE THAN A BUCKET OF KLAN RALLIES!

Also it turns out there's alot of people with ebonic accents and all of THEM are black, too! And the black people are mostly poor! In the 1920's! In the south! EVEN HISTORY IS RACIST NOW!

Why can't all black people in movies be math genius CEO's who cure cancer while speaking perfect(ly white) english and teaching a little boy the magic of tolerence?
Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq
05/12/09, 21:34

Remember the time Liberty went on a raid into some guy's house with the troops, and they ended up shooting the guy in the head, and then it turned out they had the wrong address and instead of a local warlord they'd actually just shot the town mayor, whom they'd installed in that position just two weeks prior?

And when Liberty found out, he clapped both hands to his cheeks and did the scream take from "Home Alone!"

Oh, that wacky dog!
Punch-Out with Doc Louis
05/12/09, 12:45

Push the select button to make Doc rub your shoulder faster and regain life.
I'm a loner, Dottie.
05/12/09, 07:33

ON A STEEL HORSE HE RIDES.
Punch Out (Wii) - Little Mac's return
05/11/09, 20:16

My stars hinged entirely on this video's portrayal of Doc. They are more than well-deserved.

Especially since he managed to be awesome without using the Fun Club line.
Dreams
05/11/09, 12:32

His beard counts as a second person.
Zonation Rant-- Presented by Pajamas Media
05/11/09, 12:14

CORN BREAD.

AH APPRECIATE YOO MAYH.

This is sure to make the GOP hip again, just like Michael Steele planned.

OH SHIT A MADONNA JOKE.

THIS MAN IS OFF THE CHAIN AS THE KIDS SAY. FREE REPUBLICAN POGS FOR EVERYONE.
Cheney Takes Rush Limbaugh Over Colin Powell
05/11/09, 00:28

Cheney is right! Powell endorsed the candidate who he honestly thought would do the better job instead of carrying water for a candidate he didn't like! He can't be a true Republican, not when he put his country before his party!

This is not sarcasm.

The modern Republican party has become about GOP uber alles, about opposition for the sake of opposition, about hoping the president will fail just because he doesn't have a little "R" next to his name when he appears on C-SPAN. Powell is not a Republican by current standards. He should be proud.
Cheemo Perogie Commerical
05/11/09, 00:22

That old lady probably wrote this.
Obama at White House Correspondent's Dinner
05/10/09, 17:18

I look forward to the impotent rage on Fox News and talk radio tomorrow morning.

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