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Xenocide

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Comments
Tucker Carlson calls Jon Stewart a partisan hack.
03/16/09, 03:30

Ever since Stewart destroyed him and his terrible Crossfire show, Tucker has taken every chance he could to hate on the guy. Back when Tucker had his embarrassing MSNBC show, he would devote segments to dumping on Stewart and Colbert every time they were in the news -- no matter WHAT was going on with them, he would spin it as a negative and predict that their careers would soon be over, even when it was something the rest of the world clearly saw as a positive (such as Colbert's hosting of the White House press corps dinner.)

At the time, of course, Tucker's show was airing opposite Daily Show and Colbert. Tucker's ratings were pathetic, even for MSNBC, and now his show's dead.

The only thing anyone will ever remember Tucker Carlson for is getting his ass handed to him by Jon Stewart. Twice.
Dylan Moran on Unlocking your Potential
03/15/09, 22:24

We were trying to steal a goose from the casino.
Breakfast at Sulimay's
03/15/09, 20:25

THIS SONG DESTROYED THE BLACK RACE.
Jim Cramer - The Morning After
03/15/09, 20:20

NOW BACK TO BUSINESS AS USUAL!
Experts Agree Giant Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat
03/15/09, 17:01

I was prepared to 3-star it until we got to Dr. Lester Mordoc.
GameCenter CX Ep 10 - Super Mario Bros. 2 (The Lost Levels)
03/15/09, 15:43

That's right, this game is so hard we need John Madden-style gameplans with lots of arrows pointing everywhere just to climb up a vine.
GameCenter CX Ep 10 - Super Mario Bros. 2 (The Lost Levels)
03/15/09, 15:09

I like how the nicest thing they can say about the Gamecube is "it was created only to play games."

My beard is pleased with me for recognizing that the Star Trek Deep Space Nine theme song is playing when he finally pulls off the infinite lives trick.
GameCenter CX Ep 10 - Super Mario Bros. 2 (The Lost Levels)
03/15/09, 15:01

Super Mario Bros 2 is a horrible demon-bitch of a game. People don't realize how much Miyamoto holds back in the challenge department. The man could easily turn his genius away from innovation and toward breaking you. If he really wanted to, he could reduce the entire gaming population to shattered, ruined shells of their former selves, and he'd make them love it.

See also: The challenge levels in Mario Sunshine.
Glenn Beck makes O'Reily seem sane
03/15/09, 14:56

Glenn is very fond of substituing his name in sentences with "The American People."

As in, "The American People feel disenfranchised and powerless. The American People hate that the president is a darkie who they didn't vote for, and that Mexicans keep moving into their neighborhoods. The American People are sick of seeing the value of their house get reduced.

"Sometimes The American People wish they had divorced that horrible money-leech dream-murderer of a wife of theirs when they still had a chance. But then the American People got famous for talking about 'traditional values' so if they got a divorce now they'd look like hypocrites. And the American People need this job. Jack Daniels doesn't pay for itself.

"The American People sometimes sit alone at home, gently stroking the barrel of their shotgun, wondering if, maybe, it is the only way out after all. Sometimes The American People go into their son's room while he sleeps, points the barrel to his temple, and counts to ten. Maybe one day, the American People will have the courage to do what they know has to be done.

"Also the American People believe in small government."
The Best of Video Game Voice Acting
03/15/09, 10:43

-1 star for poor editing. Don't show us Dante's whole gay speech. We all came to hear "FILL YOUR DARK SOUL WITH LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!" so give us that and move on.

But god, the last boss speech in House of the Dead is pure gold.
GameCenter CX Episode 3 - Tekki (Steel Battalion)
03/14/09, 21:02

"The washing button is popular with Arino."

I just love the fact that there IS a washing button so much. I'd probably get killed dozens of times because I was too busy enjoying the washing button.

But I wouldn't care. Somehow I'd figure out a way to beat the game using only windshield washing. Maybe if I go right up to an enemy and wash my windshield at him, he'll take it as a metaphor for how absurd war is to begin with. Or maybe he'll be touched that I choose to keep my mech clean when I could be trying to kill him. Either way, I'm going to bring about world peace in this damn game using the windshield washer. You just watch.
Glenn Beck Crying
03/14/09, 20:29

"You can solve any problem if you just use values and principles. Weeping like a toddler is a principle, right?"
Intellivision PlayCable Mickey Mantle commercial
03/14/09, 13:11

And to think, when Sega did this 11 years later with Genesis games, I thought it was amazing new technology.
Vince McMahon uses the 'N' word.
03/14/09, 12:22

The reactions are what makes this.
Back to the Future alternate ending
03/14/09, 12:20

CO-PRODUCER

WENDY NEUSS
Sex Chat - With Your (Whiny) Host, SpikeBravo.
03/13/09, 19:43

America's prostitutes agree: Whatever price he offers to pay, it's not enough.
Naruto Shuriken Shooter Commercial
03/13/09, 19:36

THAT'S VANILLA PUDDING, DUDE!
Shep Smith Mocks 'Glenn Beck Friday'
03/13/09, 19:27

If the biggest star your network has got is Glen friggin' Beck, you'd better begrudge that.
Naruto Shuriken Shooter Commercial
03/13/09, 13:34

And for that, they are heroes.
Brawl Street: Get Read to Buy Low! And Sell Die
03/13/09, 11:01

The way he says "You all know" is what drives it all home. One of the best damn interviews I've ever seen.

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