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Xenocide

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Comments
MTV Scared Straight
02/22/09, 21:00

What if it were followed by a bunch of sled dogs running up and biting your nads off?
MTV Scared Straight
02/22/09, 20:36

Later, he sells the kid to King Gorilla for a cigarette. And he doesn't smoke!
Robert Gibbs responds to Rick Santelli
02/22/09, 14:04

It's about time we had a White House Press Secretary who understands comic timing.
Glenn Beck predicts doomsday, revolution!
02/22/09, 14:01

Every time something bad happens, Republicans start masturbating over the thought of the great, long-anticipated 2nd civil war. Clinton elected? Civil war's comin'. Clinton RE-elected? Civil war's comin'. 9/11? Somehow this will result in civil war comin'. Mexicans exist? THIS IS 1860. Dems take congress? You know what that means. Obama elected? Civil war AND the apocalypse are coming. Possibly at the same time.

GLENN BECK'S HANDS ARE SHAKING. Shaking with glee, at the thought of finally fulfilling the ultimate paranoid red stater fantasy: America turning into a giant first-person shooter, where a black president is the last boss.
Personalized DVD - Our love story
02/22/09, 12:20

I was all set to make fun of this, but this IS the story of my current relationship. It's perfectly accurate: the meeting on a poorly-rendered bridge, the teacup ride with handjob, the way our faces seem to clash horribly with the rest of our bodies, the flying babies shoving arrows up our butts. It's like watching scenes from my own life. I think I need to sit down.
Rick Santelli rants on the trading floor
02/22/09, 12:04

HEY MR. NEW PRESIDENT-PRESIDENT MAN, YOU LIKE THE INTERNET RIGHT? WELL HOW ABOUT AN INTERNET COMPUTER WEB SITE WHERE WE VOTE ON HOW MUCH POOR PEOPLE SHOULD DIE? YOU CAN'T DRINK WATER AND CARRY IT, THAT'S WHAT BENJAMIN JEFFERSON SAID!
Madonna Interview on David Letterman (1994)
02/22/09, 11:59

Letterman is one of the few people on Earth who can constantly gets away with this sort of thing. Five stars forever.
Alan Keyes has officially lost his mind
02/21/09, 19:27

THIS IS NOT FUNNY. WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING.

THIS IS SERIOUS. OBAMA JUST KILLED ALL THE BABIES. ALL OF THEM.

WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME JUST BECAUSE EVERYTHING I SAY IS HILARIOUS.

LISTEN YOU, I LOST AN ELECTION. THIS CAN ONLY MEAN AMERICA IS GOING TO BE DESTROYED FOREVER.

BY THE GUY WHO BEAT ME.

STOP LAUGHING!
Alan Keyes has officially lost his mind
02/21/09, 19:24

Your daughter is a lesbian and not a hetero
She doesn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,
And all their yucky yucky facial hair and all their machis'mo!
Your daughter is a lesbian and not a hetero!
Dora the Explorer personalized DVD
02/21/09, 19:18

Congratulations [[GLEN BECK'S RETARDED KID]] you did it! You really did it!
Congratulations POETV! You did it!
02/21/09, 19:13

You're not here. But the rest of us are!
The Credit Crisis Visualized
02/21/09, 18:57

In my irrefutable vision of the coming post-apocalyptic future world which should begin to come true in about three hours or so, the ignorant peasants of the doomed shanty-towns which populate the vast, desert wasteland now called "Amerr-eye-icia," tell a creation myth about how the world came to be the way it was.

The actual complexities of the crisis having been lost to time, the story hinges on a turning point, which typically involves the storyteller (usually a wise old man, old enough that his grandparents might have known, in their youth, what clean water was like) raising his hands over the campfire and saying, in an ominous tone, "AND THEN THERE CAME THE ONE CALLED....GREENSPAN."

The children shudder instinctively.
Ernie Hudson's Pokemon Strategy
02/21/09, 18:46

Hey, Ray, do you believe in Gyarados?
Congratulations POETV! You did it!
02/21/09, 07:26

People who hate people are the luckiest people in the world.
The Muppet Show Theme
02/21/09, 06:24

Not only do they always come here, they always shell out extra for good seats, too.
Congratulations POETV! You did it!
02/21/09, 06:18

No one has the guts to actually say what they're celebrating out loud.

They're all too ashamed.

And you should be too.

You monsters.
Mortal Kombat 2 backfire fatalities glitch
02/20/09, 12:16

Goes on too long, but the Raiden one is gold.
Jerry Lewis appears on 'Batman'
02/20/09, 11:10

Jerry Lewis is a cheap ripoff of Professor Frink.
Sammy Davis Jr. Appears On 'Batman'
02/20/09, 08:22

Batman should have been in the Rat Pack.
Colonel Klink Appears On 'Batman'
02/20/09, 08:20

Of course Batman knows everything that's going in in that Nazi prison camp. He's Batman.

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