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Xenocide

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Comments
Bangkok Girl - Pla
03/29/08, 03:54

DOCUMENTARY RULE #1: Just because you can film shit doesn't mean people want to hear you talk. Know when to hire a professional voiceover artist to narrate your movie. March of the Penguins wouldn't have made a billion dollars if people had been forced to listen to Gary the Arctic Researcher the entire movie.

DOCUMENTARY RULE #2: All Asians live in misery, and their only joy in life is talking to white guys with cameras.

DOCUMENTARY RULE #3: Try to die during filming. Then your movie will be really successful.
Shinobi Vs Spiderman & Batman
03/29/08, 03:48

Shiobi wouldn't stand a chance against Alfred, though.
Hal Turner is Closed!
03/29/08, 03:45

I'm sure Hal can turn to his good friend Sean Hannity for a shoulder to cry on.
Fight Masturbation PSA
03/29/08, 03:43

This is basically the exact same set of arguments Partnership For a Drug-Free America uses against pot. And they work just as well.
Secret of Mana commercial
03/28/08, 05:11

Soule didn't score this game, though. Google reports that the music was done by Hiroki Kikuta, who has only scored three other games, the only one of which ever made it to America was Koudelka (for the PS1)
Elephant Paints Elephant
03/28/08, 05:05

It's still pretty impressive, though. How many other animals would be able to follow those directions?
Elephant Paints Elephant
03/28/08, 05:03

I for one, welcome the fact that elephants will never be our overlords because artists are all poor and thus are incapable of threatening the establishment in any real way.
Freakazoid and Superhero Weaknesses
03/28/08, 02:43

It's because God made you without a soul. :(
Freakazoid and Superhero Weaknesses
03/28/08, 00:38

Don't forget Aquaman's thousands of weaknesses.
Nintendo Powerglove Commercial
03/27/08, 19:56

Remember Captain N? On that cartoon, the Power Glove sat on a pedestal in the center of the royal palace. It could talk, and everyone followed its orders without question, and consulted it in times of trouble. It had Optimus Prime's voice and could open gateways to other dimensions.

I think the implication was the Power Glove was God.
Secret of Mana commercial
03/27/08, 19:46

I don't think the ad is meant to be in any way accurate, just cute and appealing. I mean, he's standing in front of the damn Mana Tree. That would mean he somehow made it all the way to the end of the game without a weapon.
Freakazoid's guide to movie ratings
03/27/08, 19:14

"Of course, if we ever catch Buffy downloading a movie then it doesn't matter what the rating is, we're still going to sue her whole family into the poorhouse just the same. And then we'll sue the poorhouse for harboring them. What I'm trying to say here is that if you download movies you can expect to find yourself eating Sargent Scruffy just to stay alive while you cry yourself to sleep in a filthy alley populated by diseased crack whores and pedophile winos.

"I hope this explains it! Now back to the cartoon."
Freakzoid's inner child
03/27/08, 19:07

I just want to point out that ending a skit with "Okay, I think we've gone as far as we can go" is one of my favorite things ever, and more shows should live up to its example.
Ghostwriter - Gaby the Terrorist
03/27/08, 19:05

Needs a "WRITING!" tag, too, for the kid whose goddamn bedsheets are adorned with exactly what they need at that moment.
Secret of Mana commercial
03/27/08, 18:46

Nerd trivia: This is actually a dub of the American ad for the game, but no video of that version seems to have survived. It only aired a couple of times on basic cable.
Secret of Evermore commercial
03/27/08, 18:36

Actually, this game is infamously terrible.

It was supposed to be a US-developed spiritual sequel to Secret of Mana, but I'm not sure why they bothered with one since Japan got an ACTUAL sequel which was never translated.

But this commercial makes up for it all. That dog vomited another dog.
Lou Bega on Kids WB.
03/27/08, 18:29

Wow. And here I thought the original Lou promo I posted a while back was absolute rock bottom. Silly me.

His being hot for 12 year olds is no surprise, but I was a bit amazed by how horrible he sounds when singing anything but Mambo #5. This is American Idol audition quality stuff. With anime characters.
Creationists give museum tour
03/27/08, 10:03

But fossils are boooo-ring!
Creationists give museum tour
03/27/08, 10:03

Exactly. And Nightline plays right into this fallacy from the start when they introduce the story as "those who believe in God against those who believe in evolution." Fuck that noise. The largest branch of Christianity endorses evolution. Countless people in all faiths believe that evolution is the how and not the why. Lumping everyone into two camps and pretending that there's no room for nuance in a debate this complex just stupid.

Though not even close to as stupid as any of the stuff these idiots were teaching the kids.
Riddick Bowe vs Evander Holyfield, parachute guy flys in
03/27/08, 03:53

I googled this guy and was disappointed to find that he is dead, and he did not die in a skydiving accident (he hung himself.)

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