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Xenocide

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Comments
Pat Robertson: Dungeons & Dragons Literally Destroyed People's Lives
04/19/13, 15:20

That's when you employ the good old Dragon Quest "but thou must!" approach!

"There is a super-interesting town full of intrigue up ahead! What do you do?"

"We go around it."

"The only path available to you is populated entirely by unkillable Rape Dragons. Only one magic item can defeat them, and it is located somewhere in Super-Interesting Intrigue Town."

"We keep going anyway."

"Oh no! A Landslide! The path is blocked by giant unmovable boulders, each the size of a mountain! Looks like the only place to go is Intrigue Town."

"We make camp by the boulders and go into suspended animation for sixty million years, by which time erosion should have taken care of the boulders for us."

"YOU ARE NOW IN INTRIGUE TOWN."

"But-"

"THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE."
The Brave Little Toaster (whole thing)
04/19/13, 15:14

I think you mean Outstanding Cartoon Classic Infinity.
The Brave Little Toaster (whole thing)
04/19/13, 15:14

John Lassiter worked on this film, making his first stab at an inanimate-objects-come-to-life-and-adore-their-owner movie. It's quite likely that without Toaster, there'd have been no Toy Story.
England, Edwardian Era around 1900
04/19/13, 01:51

In fact, the children are even MORE dead than the other ones.
Toronto councillor (now mayor) Rob Ford gets called a Fat Fuck, responds rationally
04/17/13, 21:38

Stars for the sniveling little toadie who brings the comment to Rob's attention.
The Tay Bridge Disaster, by William Topaz McGonnagall
04/14/13, 18:45

BUTTRESSES.

No greater word will you ever find for your poem, something something something Home Alone.

Two.

Lost in New York.
MP Glenda Jackson pays 'tribute' to Margaret Thatcher in the house of parilment
04/11/13, 20:52

PUNK DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS.

But five ghost stars for "mourning unions." Good show.
The Women of Robotech Toy Commercials
04/11/13, 16:51

THE WOMEN OF ROBOTECH! LIFTING WEIGHTS ON TRAMPOLINE!

I like how they sort of grudgingly acknowledge that these women are professional soldiers before they rush to "AND THEN THEY GO OUT WITH BOYS!"

Except for Minmay, of course, who's a vapid cunt 24/7.
Skyfall (2012) opening credits
04/11/13, 03:05

I like how they took the usual Bond plotline and scaled down everyone's motivations. Javier isn't trying to conquer the world, steal all the gold or start a war, he just wants to humiliate and kill one woman. That turns out to be a hell of a lot more compelling than the usual blow-up-the-world plots in the Bond franchise.

Also, I love the climax, because it inverts the typical formula of having Bond storm the enemy base and make his way through a bunch of secret passages and clever defenses to the big boss. Here, it's Bond, M, and Groundskeeper Willy making the last stand in their "base," while Javier storms the place and makes his way to our heroes. It makes for an amazingly tense final act.
Skyfall (2012) opening credits
04/11/13, 00:37

I was shocked by how terrific this movie was. And it may just have the best opening credits of any Bond film. Certainly the best since they went digital.
Bee Movie - To the Stand
04/10/13, 23:56

Why couldn't they have made him a bee like Bee Larry King?

Then he would have been called Bee Sting! And it would have made this movie slightly less worthless.
Bee Movie - To the Stand
04/10/13, 23:55

You know what America's children really want in their cartoons? A Dred Scott metaphor! With bees!
Big Meets Bigger - Mississippi
04/10/13, 15:41

Finally, a practical use for Mississippi.
Springer Brony Standup
04/06/13, 13:16

-4 for promising sad brony standup and not delivering. I was anticipating sad awkward jokes about this guy's secret crush on Bon Bon.
The Vegan Comedian
04/05/13, 18:35

I've always been big into cooking. But I always wondered, "How can I take this thing I love, and make it as uncomfortable as possible for people who don't eat the same things I do?"

So now I talk about rotting cow corpses a lot. Invisible crowds find it hilarious!
Whiney nerd has a cryfit over Disney closing LucasArts (Semi-explicit)
04/05/13, 13:27

"Don't ever Disney's side on anything."

Well, okay then. Wait, does this mean I have to take Westboro Baptist's position on Disney World's annual Gay Days event? And I have to stop watching Gravity Falls? Yeah, fuck that.
Whiney nerd has a cryfit over Disney closing LucasArts (Semi-explicit)
04/05/13, 13:22

It's too bad about Star Wars 1313. The previous 1,312 games in the series were pretty good.
Penn Jillette: Donald Trump is Scrooge McDuck
04/04/13, 16:09

Penn has his ducks mixed up. Trump is more like John D. Rockerduck, the lesser of Scrooge's business rivals. For people with lesser beards than mine, John D. is a self-aggrandizing moron whose money comes mostly from inheritance and whose talents lie not in business, but in getting his name in the paper and repeatedly going bankrupt. Through it all he insists he's the world's greatest financial genius, even though he's actually millions in debt to Scrooge and most of his companies are poorly managed ponzi schemes.

Now let's all ponder why this character wasn't named John D. Rockerfeather. Dammit, Disney, the pun was right there for the taking!

In other news, Warren Buffett is EXACTLY like Launchpad McQuack.
[MLP]Smile! Smile! Smile! - Recreated in SFM
04/03/13, 22:58

THANK GOD POETV IS FINALLY HAVING THIS DISCUSSION.

Bronies are mad about the alicorn thing for the same reason Adventure Time fans got mad when Finn got over his crush on Bubblegum and began dating Flame Princess. Because it's a change, and change is scary.
[MLP]Smile! Smile! Smile! - Recreated in SFM
04/03/13, 22:57

Different types of media appeal to different types of people.

MLP tends to attract creative types.

I seriously think that's all there is to it.

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