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Xenocide

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Comments
Red Power Ranger murder: actor Ricardo Medina Jr. arrested for killing roommate with a sword
02/03/15, 00:42

Thanks to a few minutes of googling, I have learned some VITAL INFORMATION about Ricardo Medina's Ranger career.

- His character, Cole, is often named by Ranger fans as the WORST RED RANGER OF ALL TIME. Apparently, while the others were all elite trained fighters, Cole was a discount Tarzan who was raised in the jungle by chimps or something, leading to wacky hijinks as he tried to adjust to modern life. Compelling!

- He was the Red Ranger for Power Rangers Wild Force, a team of Rangers whose big gimmick was "we have spirit animals." The original Rangers had robot dinosaurs, but sure guys, being friends with the ghost of a dolphin or whatever is neat too, I guess.

- The Wild Force's main villain was named Master Org. He was not a website.
Simpsons Pixels
02/02/15, 15:38

Great freeze-frame potential in this one (of course Poochie and Roy would hang out together.)

Even if you don't feel like sitting through yet another remake of the Simpsons intro, be sure to watch the whole couch gag.
Simpsons Pixels
02/02/15, 15:37

Oh, Zest, cartoons don't have to be 100% realistic!

(A second Xenocide walks by in the background.)
Nancy Grace Battles 2 Chainz over Pot :Think of the Children
01/28/15, 23:57

"YOUR PERSONA IS DIFFERENT FROM YOUR RAP PERSONA."

Why does she talk like she's speaking to a four year old, and is also herself a four year old. She keeps speaking VERY LOUD and VEEERY SLOOOW. I think Nancy Grace starts out each day by taking several sharp blows to the head.
Inexplicable Trailer For 'Family Of Cops' Starring Charles Bronson
01/28/15, 23:47

The villain is a stamp collector in a dad sweater.
Inexplicable Trailer For 'Family Of Cops' Starring Charles Bronson
01/28/15, 23:47

All getting together at Thanksgiving and swapping stories about killing minorities.
Springfield's Most Wanted: Who Shot Mr. Burns
01/28/15, 16:27

I didn't have this internet dealie at the time, but according to my local paper, "fans on the World Wide Web" were split between Smithers and Maggie as the culprits.

Not because of any clever reading of the clues, but just because "most likely suspect" and "least likely suspect" are always the most popular options.

The rest of the time, it's usually some deranged lunatic who does it for no reason.
Real Time with Bill Maher: American Sniper Controversy
01/27/15, 18:22

Oh, so after that "different era" line I switched over to talking about American Sniper, not Three Kings. Probably could have made that clearer, huh?
Real Time with Bill Maher: American Sniper Controversy
01/27/15, 18:19

Three Kings came out two years before 9/11, and was marketed on Desert Storm nostalgia.

The fact that Desert Storm nostalgia was even a thing should give you a clue to the fact that the film belongs to a different era.

Here's the thing you have to remember: the film does NOT make the usual biopic claim of being "inspired by true events" or "based on the life of X." It is officially said to be "based on the book." They made this distinction because the book is pretty notoriously full of lies. But so long as they're officially "just adapting the book," not portraying real events, they're legally in the clear. Not even the people who made this movie think the story is legit.

For the record, though, "my only regret is that I didn't kill more of them" is the original line in the book.
MRA meeting is brought to order.
01/25/15, 08:18

Spanky is the voice of meninism.
Most Popular Omitted Scene from Fifty Shades of Grey
01/24/15, 14:32

"You see, Ms. Everygirl, I'm more than just the rich CEO of the world's largest money-obtaining corporation," he said smolderingly. "I'm also a dominant sex kinker."

"Gasp!" moaned Annie Everygirl, the unsuspecting secretary from the heartland of America, like Iowa or someplace like that.

"So tonight, when we have rope sex, just remember that there are no such things as safe words. Also I'm going to call you Scootaloo the whole time."

"Moan!" gasped Annie Everygirl. Her farm-raised childhood in Wyoming or wherever had not prepared her for this!

Rich CEO Chad Orgasm snapped his fingers, and the Knuckles the Echidna theme song began to play from a hidden speaker. It was now sex time.

"Oh my!" spasmed Annie Everygirl. She was so very far from her native Panama!
Love Letters to Richard Dawkins
01/22/15, 17:18

Old, white, racist, angry that people who don't share his religious views exist, furious at Muslims, contemptuous of women, certain that his demographic is the most persecuted on Earth, and utterly convinced that the key to a perfect society is for everyone to be converted to his way of thinking.

I just described both the average Christian fundamentalist and Richard Dawkins.

But Dawk's youtube videos ARE funnier than anything fundies have ever come up with, so give him that.
You're ruining my career!
01/20/15, 16:10

http://tinyurl.com/p5fq35n
Law and Order: SVU's sensitive depiction of gamers
01/11/15, 19:48

Speed Weed is his stage name. His wife and kids know him as Fast Grass.
Vay Opening
01/11/15, 19:37

We programmed our robot only for death. Then we turned him on, and he instantly died. PROJECT SUCCESSFUL!

The project cost three billion dollars.
Vay Opening
01/11/15, 19:33

VAY? MORE LIKE GAY. (high fives everyone)
Phylicia Rashad on the Bill Cosby Firestorm
01/09/15, 10:24

Well to be fair, those other women don't get residual checks every month with the words "Cosby Show" in the memo field.
DOWN WITH DEMOCRACY
01/05/15, 15:50

GROUP Z, QUADRANT DELTA: WANTS TO TAKE AWAY GROUP EPSILON'S RIGHT TO PAINT THEIR TOOLSHEDS WITHOUT FIRST ACQUIRING PERMISSION FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD ASSOCIATION.

GROUP STAR, VIOLET SECTOR, VOLUME FIVE: THEY ELECT LAWMAKERS WHO FAVOR RECLASSIFYING THE GROUPS USING A DECIMAL SYSTEM.

WE ARE THAT FROG.
Palestinian teenager shot dead by Israeli soldiers for throwing rocks
01/04/15, 07:30

Yeah, both sides have done assholic things. But only one side trapped the other in a region which they keep locked down like a prison, then bombed the region nonstop for weeks, specifically targeting schools, hospitals, and places where civilians were known to be taking refuge. There's being assholes, and then there's straight-up trying to wipe out a culture.

At this point, the "BUT BOTH SIDES IN ISRAEL ARE JERKS SO I CAN SAFELY CRAWL UP MY OWN ASS AND IGNORE IT" excuse is about as informed and nuanced as the "Republicans and Democrats both suck equally, no difference, VOTE RON PAUL" argument.
Meatloaf sings 'Bat out of Hell' in his most recent farewell tour.
12/24/14, 08:34

Well, I think this is THE WORST ZELDA GAME YET.

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