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StanleyPain

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Comments
Jingle Disk
12/31/14, 13:16

Holy shit..things brings back memories. I had this thing back in the day, I think it was being given out for free by my local Software Etc. when you bought anything else. My mom loved this.
RETRO SEGA - Dreamcast SEGANET Spot
12/30/14, 17:19

None. The online games on DC were coded immaculately and used the 56k connection to it's maximum smoothness at the time. I heard that supposedly the Windows CE architecture of the console had something to do with how well it handled online play. But yeah..no issues at all. And one of the last online games (if not THE last) was Alien Front Online which introduced primitive voice chat via the microphone that came with Seaman and even with voice it still ran brilliantly (some arcades here and there still have the old Alien Front kiosks)
The Onion Reviews 'The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies'
12/29/14, 22:51

Well, to be fair, Aragorn is a Numenorian (something which was not really discussed in the theatrical LOTR cut), so he has a life span of something like 200 years.
Christian Weston Chandler is in jail (better sound quality)
12/29/14, 20:51

Who is laughing at the assault exactly?
RETRO SEGA - Dreamcast SEGANET Spot
12/28/14, 23:27

I was online, day one, with Phantasy Star Online. Absolutely incredible experience for someone who had never really done any sort of MMO games except MUDs and MUSHs. The game was great, community was great for the most part, and jesus I spent so much time playing that game with my close-knit game group it's not even funny. So, for me, Sega's online will always be a great memory. Quake 3 was pretty awesome, too. I remember that one of the player skins you could choose was this brown skeleton that basically blended into almost every wall texture in the game and if you played that you could mop the floor with everyone, heh.
Chris Chan sprays a GameStop employee with mace
12/28/14, 17:23

Not to be pendantic, but that was not remotely "mace." Mace is not really available to the general public (at least, not without some barriers) and if that guy had been maced he would have been almost immediately immobilized. Pepper spray and mace are very different things.
Truly excellent timelapse videos from the ISS
12/25/14, 14:47

Misread it as "Timelapse videos from ISIS" and figured it was beheadings or something.
Otter with XMas presents
12/25/14, 14:47

If flavored and colored ice were all it took to truly give meaning and emotional fulfillment to us, I suppose it would be easier to live.
The Onion Reviews 'The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies'
12/25/14, 14:37

And, for record, where the Hobbit movies started losing me was in the second one where the dwarves, for no reason, have to "sneak" into Laketown, which literally makes no sense whatsoever. In the book, the people of Laketown are totally welcoming to the dwarves, friendly, and believe that the arrival of the dwarves will basically mean they're coming back and things will be all better so they are welcomed with open arms. In the movie, it is never coherently explained why they have to sneak into the town when, upon arrival and being discovered, they are welcomed in the exact same way they are in the book.
I understand you have to play with some of the plot elements to get a movie to work, but this was the most bullshit way possible of introducing Bard, who is a much smaller character in the book. This, for me, was the quasi-George Lucas moment of the storytelling starting to circle the drain in favor of sacrificing Tolkien's writing for Jackson's ideas. Then the 30 minute keystone cops vs. Smaug chase was just the red flag that, oh yeah, they are just padding this shit out so we can have huge CGI battles later on in the next movie.
The Onion Reviews 'The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies'
12/25/14, 13:40

The reason why the Hobbit looks worse than LOTR is that in LOTR they used way more physical locations and much better sets. Hobbit is suffering from Star Wars prequel syndrome is building 10% of a set and then making the rest green screen.
The Onion Reviews 'The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies'
12/24/14, 21:37

Well, minor spoilers here:


As I understand it, Smaug basically bites it in, like, 10 minutes of the new movie. Which means it's another 2 hours and 40 whatever minutes of JUST the five armies plot which is fucking ridiculous.
The Onion Reviews 'The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies'
12/24/14, 20:05

To put it simply, no. I liked the LOTR movies personally, but The Hobbit, while not terrible, is simply way too overblown and bloated for it's own good. I mean, jesus, it was supposed to be an adaptation of a 320-something page kids book. It's so artificially inflated with stuff from the Tolkien canon, massive over-use of special effects, and desperately trying to re-visit highpoints from the LOTR films that it just never gels together right. I haven't seen the third one yet, but everything people have been telling me is just disappointing as fuck as a lifelong fan of the book.
I think Peter Jackson made some pretty severe mistakes in these movies.
Rapping Preacher is Certified Thug
12/24/14, 13:48

Weird that this should show up again today, as just the other night I got into a weird argument with some random idiot in an online game (I know, stupid..) about how white people co-opting "nigga" and claiming it's not somehow casually racist is nonsense. The guy was one of those morons who thinks that unless you are actively murder black people and dress like Hitler or something nothing you possibly do can ever be racist.
The Revenge of Shinobi Soundtrack
12/24/14, 09:51

One of my favorite game soundtracks of this era.
Orbital - Style
12/23/14, 12:54

Middle of Nowhere is fucking amazing...whatchu talkin' 'bout Matthias?
yee lmao
12/23/14, 12:52

*************************************************************************************************************************************************** etc.
EB Games ad budget has been cut to $10
12/23/14, 11:27

Yo, I'm old school...reppin' Babbage's, here.
yee lmao
12/23/14, 10:59

What's going to happen?

Something yee.
EB Games ad budget has been cut to $10
12/22/14, 23:30

That clerk looks like the Eraserhead baby, all grown up or something...
Hard to Be a God
12/22/14, 01:21

You would have to read the story...basically it implies that nudging primitive worlds to become more advanced has become a kind of hobby for outsiders who think they are doing this enlightened thing, but of course it's much more complex.

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