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StanleyPain

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Comments
Frog Sitting On A Bench With Tupac
09/24/12, 16:49

Doing well, thank you.
'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now' (theme from Mannequin) by Starship
09/24/12, 13:44

At least these guys have the honesty to admit that the 80s was nothing but a big cocaine fueled blur and everything they did was mostly motivated about having enough money to buy more drugs.
The Great American Traffic Jam in 3 minutes
09/24/12, 12:15

From the IMDB reviews:

"When a series of auto mishaps cause several traffic jams, John Beck must save the day or run the risk of his wife, Shelly Fabares, and the kids running off on vacation without him.

The accidents alone were amusing. Abe Vigoda as a crash helmet-wearing driver instructor to student Nedra Volz ("There's a hole. Should I go in there?"); Wink Martindale as a frustrated golfer who takes his revenge out on the interstate when two truckers drive by and ruin his game (Martindale's calm demeanor as he sends those golf balls out into the traffic was hilarious.) and finally the truckers themselves wreck, one carrying vodka and the other oranges. Guess what they ended up doing?

The stories involve Desi Arnaz trying to get to his pregnant wife (Christopher Norris) who is being driven to the hospital by a cab driver named Snake (Vic Tayback); Ed MacMahon and Rue McLanahan as a wealthy, unhappy couple (odd casting, but they all but stole the show); the unhappy band with LIsa Hartman as a lead singer and ubiquitous acting staple Larry Hankin as the guitarist, and Fabares and Beck's unhappy marriage.

All end up stuck in the traffic mishaps, with Beck trying to find Fabares with the kids in the camper, Arnaz borrowing the band's car phone to call the cab company to find Norris, and McLanahan trading her fur for a better spot in line to use the port-a-potty. Hands down, the McLanahan-McMahon resolution, while nice and neat, is terribly cute, especially with ol' Ed on that motorbike at the end.

With guest appearances galore, from Lyle Waggoner as the incompetent traffic controller to Marcia Wallace all but reprising her 'Bob Newhart' role as the traffic division secretary, this movie watches like a less cliched episode of Love Boat without the problem-solving crew, except for Beck, that is.

And yes, the band performance at the end was the perfect conclusion to this light-hearted bit of fun."
First Look: iPhone 5
09/24/12, 12:06

All of Apple's "i" devices have used the exact same dock plug since the very first iPod Gen1, with the exception of the iPod Shuffles (which are very small)

Changing it is easily the most dickweed, crass, bullshit thing Apple could have possibly done as it now means the iTouches and iPhones willl no longer work with any of the years and years worth of devices that have pretty much always worked with the docks.

As someone who's owned a few generations of iPods (and I got an iPod Touch Gen4 not that long ago as a replacement for a broken Gen 1 touch) I think I can safely say I am now done with Apple products and I'm sure a lot of people agree with me. I mean, I'll use what I have, but if I ever want something new, I'm looking elsewhere. I'm just so, SO glad I never invested in anything like a macbook or anything like that.
Romney Disrespects Teacher, Tells Her ‘I Didn’t Ask You A Question’
09/24/12, 00:26

But it's still somewhat newsworthy and voting it down in the hopper is a dipshit, petty thing to do. Oh, but then I forgot...you're here to teach us all what videos are SUPPOSED to be on here. Nevermind, carry on!
Romney Disrespects Teacher, Tells Her ‘I Didn’t Ask You A Question’
09/24/12, 00:25

Oh, and also be sure to read up on Romey's visit to Univision, in which he demanded that the LIVE intro to the show be re-recorded because they made reference to the fact that Obama was giving them an hour instead of Romney's half-hour and how his campaign bussed in supporters to cheer for him despite the studio being told not to make any noise, which is why the audience, which you'd assume to be Latinos, mysteriously cheered on the illegal aliens reference.
Billie Joe Armstrong's tantrum at the I Heart Radio Music Festival
09/23/12, 19:30

So, let's examine this:

Green Day cashes in the tiny amount of barely indie/punk cred they ever had back in the 90s to become a huge commercial hit, largely by toning their music down a notch or two (just enough to skirt by radio play) and not really doing much else that remotely qualifies them as "punk."
They grift off of disillusioned teenagers who don't know what real punk music is for years, becoming richer than arguably any other "punk" band from their scene, and doing things like routinely headlining giant, corporate sponsored music festivals and making videos for MTV whose budgets are roughly equal to the gross national product of a small country which is about as far from punk as a band could possibly get.
They then get upset when, while on a bill with other top 40 artists, they are asked to cut short their set to make time for an artist who makes the label more money than they do unaware of the utter sadness that is the fact that their music is so bubblegum that it is literally interchangeable with vapid pop-shit like Usher to the point where the SAME AUDIENCE will be attending the performance.

In other words, shut the fuck up you pathetic sell out. Go soak in your XXL hottub, fucktard.
skrillex mosh pit
09/23/12, 19:15

Phht..you just have no taste. This new one goes wuuuuUUUUUUUUuuubb WWWuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUbbb as opposed to WUUUUUUuuuuuUUUUUUUuuuuB wwwuuuuUUUUUuuuuUUUUUb.
Zeiram
09/23/12, 18:44

This was a live action film before it was an animated film and manga with spin-offs. The movie was sort of a cult thing like Tetsuo in the early days of VHS imported movies getting an audience here in the states. It's not a very good movie, IMHO. Basically this creature eats people and then creates weird servant beings from eggs based on the people he eats and some chick in stereotypical anime battle armor from the future or whatever has to fight him/it. It was more famous for it's awful original English dub than much else. Some of the visuals are memorable but I thought it was kind of boring personally.
Stalked in Walmart: What Happens When Organized Stalkers Know Where I'm Going
09/23/12, 16:47

PEOPLE MOB THE CHECKOUT LINES AT A WALMART??? HOLY SHIT YOU CRACKED THE CONSPIRACY!!!

you fucking dolt.
Taco Flew Away
09/23/12, 16:42

Mute the left side

http://tinyurl.com/9x3d723
MST3K 622 - Angels' Revenge
09/23/12, 01:12

I just watched this the other day. One of my favorite MSTs.

Also, "shine your love" tag, please.
Resident Evil Afterlife: Final fight
09/22/12, 16:32

Why in the name of fuck are these movies so damn popular? Jesus, they are shit....
Absurdity Today, Sept. 21st 2012
09/22/12, 16:18

In fairness to this woman:
There is no laugh track.
She doesn't laugh at her own jokes.
And the jokes, while unfunny, at least make sense, whereas Nesbusted is basically just generic variations of" A LIBERAL IS DUMB, LIBERALS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN"


Also, it's entirely possible (though I doubt it since I looked it up) this is intended as a direct parody of Newsbusted, which if that's the case, it's fucking brilliant.
Hamm's beer bear commercial.
09/21/12, 17:00

I had an uncle with a Hamm's waterfall sign. It seems relevant to mention this.
RADICAL ENDING 2: DEATH SCREAM
09/21/12, 16:49

What a drama queen.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 #208 - Lost Continent
09/21/12, 15:25

Invasion of the Neptune Men comes close with it's agonizing 20+ minute finale of nothing but ships flying around blowing up stock footage of old buildings.

And let's not forget Radar Secret Service with its "Hypno Helio Static Stasis" of guys driving around for the last 20 minutes or so followed by a copter doing absolutely nothing.
Won't Back Down (Trailer)
09/21/12, 13:34

Waiting For Superman is bullshit. It was made by charter-loving propagandists and is riddled with factual errors not to mention an incredible anti-education bias. WFS is basically "Yeah, lots of schools are underfunded and have other problems, but uh...NEVERMIND THAT IT'S NOT IMPORTANT..here's this made-up bullshit doc about how rich people should be able to have other people pay for their kids to go to private schools because they hate society..."
German Cybergoths Dancing
09/20/12, 22:20

As someone who used to frequent goth clubs I can tell you these people are not well liked. Two or three of them basically try and take over the whole club with their stupid shit and I've never seen an occasion where people were just cool with it and let it happen. They usually got forced off the floor or the DJ would just start playing something they didn't like or couldn't dance to for a few songs until they went away. Goth culture in general can be pretty horrible and have some thoroughly unlikable people in it, but "cybergoths" and all their related kin are basically in a kind of damp, rat-infested sub-basement of the Goth scene that even some of the most pathetic self-absorbed goth people can look down on.
YOU HAVE COME TO A WORLD CALLED GOR
09/20/12, 14:33

COME, POUR THE MIDGETS!

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