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StanleyPain

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Comments
L. Ron Hubbard - Windsplitter
06/20/11, 22:40

The entire album, now long out of print (surprisingly, given the CoS's penchant for praising and enshrining every single thing Hubbard farted out) is available for download here:
http://tinyurl.com/ygbd6w4
I Don't Want To Grow Up
06/20/11, 20:35

Yeah, update dead link is the best way to replace something with the same thing that's better quality.
Highest possible jump in Super Mario Bros.
06/20/11, 18:29

Phht..whatever...I want to see the longest FALL in SMB.
More Cone-ing
06/20/11, 14:51

Fucking with food workers and/or retail employees for stupid hipster "pranks" is about the most boring thing ever. Everything you think is so edgy and weird and funny we have all seen 100 times over for real by actual real crazy people. Seriously, only people who have never ever worked in any sort of service industry could think that any of this shit is remotely outside the norm or XTREEM.
Paul Heyman interview
06/20/11, 12:39

One star for retarded POEN drama.
30 Rock - How People Are Eating Lobster in St. Barts
06/20/11, 01:32

(in Duke Nukem voice)
BEING BOTHERED BY BIGOTRY IS FOR PUSSIES
Battlefield Earth-Bartender Scene
06/20/11, 00:03

Actually the actors weren't so much "chosen" as they were people who helped financially back the film because they, themselves, are Scientologists. Almost every major role in the film is someone who is or was a church member.
Battlefield Earth-Bartender Scene
06/19/11, 23:59

It's terrible, but there's a weird, ethereal quality of awfulness to it.
I can't get over the plot device of the movie literally being that the villains are so stupid they essentially defeat themselves.
Streaming Felony
06/19/11, 12:53

You forgot the blatantly illegal military action in Libya which barely registered a blip anywhere in the US thanks to most people on the right having big boners for war and people on the left trying to rationalize it as OK since it's Obama.
Giant Bomb's 52 minute 'Quick Look' of Duke Nukem Forever
06/18/11, 23:16

Well, that's true they may very well decide to do that. But, I get the feeling that DNF was more Gearbox trying to put something on their resume. Basically they can say "hey, we were given this piece of shit and told to try and salvage it into something at least moderately profitable" and now they can say they did what they could with it. I doubt, however, that they want to make a career out of the Nukem franchise, profitable or not. As I understand it, the "read between the lines" from Randy Pitchford was that this was basically to make some money and earn a little cred so they can move on to projects they'd rather be doing, one of them being Borderlands 2.
Giant Bomb's 52 minute 'Quick Look' of Duke Nukem Forever
06/18/11, 18:26

It says a lot about an FPS game when you can do a 52 minute video review of it and only about 10 minutes or so actually contains any action. Still, I don't see why people are surprised that a Duke Nukem game is so thoroughly mediocre and boring. It's early 90s FPS design in a 21st century engine....isn't that what people were expecting? I certainly didn't think DNF would be very good and now we know it's not even up to THAT weak expectation.

As for the sexism in the game, I honestly don't see it being any worse than the shit they pulled in the previous DNF games. It's socially retarded for sure, but it's so ridiculous in its offensiveness that anyone, especially women, seriously offended by it should probably direct their energies to sexism in places where it matters a lot more than in a juvenile video game that no one will remember in a year or so. I think taking it as seriously as so many are is giving it a credibility it never, ever earned. But hey, now it's over and we can bury Duke forever, yay.

Disney Surprise gone wrong
06/17/11, 21:12

Needs "first world problems" tag and "why the terrorists hate us"
ATF Seizes 30 Toy Guns, Says 'They Can Be Converted Into Machine Guns'
06/17/11, 19:25

"Anyone with one of these should expect trouble.."

I'm not a gun nut or anything, but fuck you. Ever heard of the second amendment?
The Zookeeper: Extended Trailer
06/17/11, 17:45

GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS???

TIME FOR BIG RED LETTERS ON A WHITE BACKGROUND COMEDY TIME!
Fatal Seduction Game Trailer
06/17/11, 17:43

Xbox Live Indie games is pretty awful most of the time. That's not to say there aren't some cool games on it; there are and you could easily buy 10-15 really solid, fun time-wasters for $20, but sadly most of it is like this shit.
Duke Nukem Forever - Wall Breasts
06/17/11, 17:36

I love how a super-stupid FPS that's basically scraping the bottom of the barrel is getting all this free advertising by so many gamers white knighting the female gender so bravely. It's a dumb game with a dumb character that should have been put to bed years ago but Take Two wanted to make a little money on their very, very unwise investment into George Broussard's cocaine fund. Let it go...
The Onion: 'Green Lantern' To Fulfill America's Wish To See Lantern-Based Characters On Big Screen
06/17/11, 14:02

I submitted a replacement video...The Onion has their own YT channel, by the way.
Worst of Duke Nukem Forever
06/17/11, 03:30

Can someone explain to me what's so phenomenally bad about this? I just watched 10 minutes of average, if not mediocre, FPS gameplay.
Weiner Roasted, Falls on His Sword
06/17/11, 03:19

While this bullshit was going on, Nancy Pelosi was trying to have a serious press conference about creating jobs, but hey FUCK THAT I want to about this guy's dick some more!

(and yes, the first question Pelosi was asked was not about the job creation plan, but about Weiner)
The Onion: 'Green Lantern' To Fulfill America's Wish To See Lantern-Based Characters On Big Screen
06/17/11, 03:16

What's extra funny about Green Lantern is how the comic writers had to retcon a guy using a magic lantern for his powers into a reboot story about a guy using an alien power ring which has to somehow tie into lanterns. They came up with the "oh..he has to CHARGE his power ring in a....um...lantern. Yeah."

DC is rebooting their entire continuity AGAIN, by the way, so I'm curious what the fuck story they're going to come up with this time.

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