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Comments
A Finnish Lumberjack Demonstrates A SUPERAXE
09/05/14, 21:00

D'ohh!
Slingshot Channel - Joerg's new switchblade
09/05/14, 11:37

This man should be the new face of Germany for the 21st century.

There's another video in the hopper where Joerg and his friends are setting off fireworks by lighting them, catapulting them into the sky, and then squealing in delight when the fireworks suddenly take off in some random direction and explode. As often as not, that random direction is right down at them and they couldn't be happier when that happens.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Manos: The Hands of Fate
09/05/14, 08:01

This had the makings of a Scooby Doo episode.

"Well gang, I think I know the secret of our haunted hotel. Turns out the Master and Torgo are ..."

"... Frank Zappa and Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson!"

"They were trying to scare everyone off so they could produce their new concept album."
A Finnish Lumberjack Demonstrates A SUPERAXE
09/05/14, 07:02

Looks like the axe head is designed to crowbar the wood after it strikes. That's pretty clever.
A Finnish Lumberjack Demonstrates A SUPERAXE
09/05/14, 06:58

Or you may remember Lemminkainen as the failure / loser from "The Day the Earth Froze". I forget that some of you had normal childhoods that didn't involve studying Finnish legends.
A Finnish Lumberjack Demonstrates A SUPERAXE
09/05/14, 06:53

There the blood-stained son of death-land,
There Tuoni's son and hero,
Cuts in pieces Lemminkainen,
Chops him with his mighty hatchet,
Till the sharpened axe strikes flint-sparks
From the rocks within his chamber,
Chops the hero into fragments,
Into five unequal portions,
Throws each portion to Tuoni,
In Manala's lowest kingdom,
Speaks these words when he has ended:
"Swim thou there, wild Lemminkainen,
Flow thou onward in this river,
Hunt forever in these waters,
With thy cross-bow and thine arrow,
Shoot the swan within this empire,
Shoot our water-birds in welcome!"
Thus the hero, Lemminkainen,
Thus the handsome Kaukomieli,
The untiring suitor, dieth
In the river of Tuoni,
In the death-realm of Manala.
Conan Visits The American Girl Store
09/05/14, 05:57

Oh Conan, have my poorly-articulated babies.
A Finnish Lumberjack Demonstrates A SUPERAXE
09/05/14, 05:39

I have no practical use for a Superaxe, but damn if I don't want to get wood and then whack it with one of these.
The Boy Who Cried Literally
09/04/14, 18:23

I don't have a tremendous problem with a person using "literally" to mean "quintuple plus plus" -- those are usually subjective matters, and it's clear that there's no absolute measure, so no meaning is lost. "This is literally the best burger ever" and "this is objectively the best burger ever" mean more or less the same to me, that the person is pretty damn happy with their burger but technically will never be in a position to quantify all burgers.

It's when "literally" creeps over into "figuratively" that they've crossed the streams, figuratively speaking.
A Woman Describes How She Avoided Being Raped and Killed By a Serial Killer
09/04/14, 07:35

I believe society has the right to decide that some members are simply too dangerous to let live, but A) since we can successfully keep a prisoner locked up if we want to, it's pretty much impossible for any prisoner to meet the burden of "too dangerous to let live", and B) while society may have that right in the abstract, in reality society does not exercise that right fairly or impartially, and so should not exercise it at all.
The Boy Who Cried Literally
09/04/14, 06:05

"The mouse is literally the largest rodent" isn't typical for the misuse of "literal"; at most that statement is factually inaccurate or requires context / scope. But the point of "literal" is to take a phrase that is typically interpreted metaphorically and to strip out the metaphor. If I tell someone "I buried the hatchet", the normal interpretation is that I made peace with a foe ... but what if I want to communicate that I dug a hole in the ground, placed a hatchet in the hole, and covered it with dirt? (Don't ask why I did it; I am Bort and I have my reasons.) If I say "I literally buried the hatchet", you know that the metaphorical meaning does not apply.
The Boy Who Cried Literally
09/03/14, 16:14

The Urban Dictionary has a definition for "Hwaet", with two examples: the opening bit from "Beowulf", and this bit of verse:

Hwt this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air
The Boy Who Cried Literally
09/03/14, 15:52

I get that language is always in flux and no word is guaranteed to preserve meaning forever, but "literally" (the traditional meaning) serves a useful purpose and it does not have any synonyms, so it's far and away the best option for de-metaphoring an expression. On the other hand, "figuratively" already exists and has synonyms, so I say there are no good arguments for redefining "literally" to mean "figuratively". From what I've seen, the most passionate supporters of doing so tend to be people who can't think of a situation where "literally" is a useful concept.

So, I will provide one.

Many years ago, Katie Couric's colonoscopy was broadcast on her morning TV show. Some time later, she had reason to ask Hans Blix what it was like to "literally" have the weight of the world on his shoulders. His answer should have been, "Well Katie, you know what it's like to literally have a camera up your ass, it's no fun".
Sentient Fluid Black Goo Fast Blast
09/02/14, 14:04

Any chance we can finally link the "lol swearing in the title thats gonna hurt the goo" tag?
The Return of The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman (1987)
09/01/14, 14:58

Holy smokes, Adam Scott is eventually going to turn into Bryan Cranston.
'Christians: Your Kids are on a Bus to HELL!'
08/31/14, 01:19

Credit to her for taking her (former) religion seriously enough to think through the ramifications. It had never occurred to me that, if you believe people can be sent to hell, then you have no business bringing children into the world; you'd think that would be of some concern to Christians who actively want to have children, but no, there they are all amassing their Quiversfull without a care in the world.
Preview of Joerg's new firework-shooting slingshot tower
08/30/14, 07:01

This man has the best wife in the world, and the tags ought to say so.

As far as I'm concerned, Joerg is the face of Germany: jovial happy guy who's never more fulfilled than when he's building things that would be banned in the US for being too kickass.
A Horrible, Horrible Coming Out
08/29/14, 18:33

Jesus, you guys. You deserve better families.

If you ever want to escape northwards, Underground Railroad style, I'm along the route to Station Hope (St. John's Episcopal Church in Cleveland, whence you could take a boat to Canada), and I can totally set up a manger or something for you.

Funny thing about Station Hope ... remember those three women who were held in bondage / sexual slavery for like a decade by some Cleveland weirdo? That was maybe a mile and a half from St. John's. There's some cruel irony in there.
How to Traffic Stop (Affidavit of Truth)
08/29/14, 16:34

They've got a child's view of the Social Contract: since they didn't explicitly agree to the terms and conditions of living in the US, they feel they aren't bound by the law as you and I know it. So yeah, they've fanfictioned all manner of other laws that are somehow binding in ways that normal laws aren't.

Dude doesn't mind recognizing legal tender issued by the Department of the Treasury, though.

Am I a terrible person for wishing a little police brutality on sovereign citizens? I suppose I don't mind being terrible in this particular circumstance.
Student suspended for saying 'Bless You'!!!!!!1!!!!
08/28/14, 22:39

Huh? Cena's all right by me. Did he say "Merry Christmas" or something?

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