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Comments
HOW TO GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE! ( 1 SECRET TRICK THAT WORKS! ) | NICE GUYS ESCAPE PLAN!!!
03/08/14, 09:18

pastor: also agreed on that's a good point.

TeenerTot: if it helps, I always figured your name is a nonsense term of unknowable origins.
Live Action Johnny Johnny Yes Papa
03/08/14, 08:29

Everything about this nursery rhyme is inept -- Johny's crime, the weak rhyme scheme, the non sequitur last line.

It all makes more sense if you change it from "eating sugar?" to "huffing whipped cream?"
Live Action Johnny Johnny Yes Papa
03/08/14, 04:07

I remember a rule about submitting your own material, but it's gone now. I imagine the rule was there to keep people from submitting every worthless thing they ever made, but since that never really became a problem, the rule was dropped.
Live Action Johnny Johnny Yes Papa
03/07/14, 23:20

I had always hoped David Lynch would tackle this, but knowing him he'd probably turn it into a thing about quinoa.

Nice work, Gravel Studios!
Guy shoots arrows really fast
03/07/14, 11:55

The Justice League will be contacting you shortly.
HOW TO GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE! ( 1 SECRET TRICK THAT WORKS! ) | NICE GUYS ESCAPE PLAN!!!
03/07/14, 07:27

Five mutant stars for StanleyPain.
HOW TO GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE! ( 1 SECRET TRICK THAT WORKS! ) | NICE GUYS ESCAPE PLAN!!!
03/07/14, 06:45

That "personal prize for your dick" talk no doubt applies to some guys, but I bet most believers in a "friend zone" are nowhere near as misogynistic; they just don't have a good idea of what to expect in dealing with women. If they've learned anything at all from movies and TV, though, the girl WILL eventually fall for the quiet mopey guy, which I believe is why people believe in a "friend zone". Pams eventually fall for Jims, that's a fact, until you learn otherwise.

So I figure education is the key here. Also: while men are more likely to consider dating any woman they enjoy enough to be friends with, women are more likely to see friendship and dating as separate considerations, leading to all sorts of wacky misunderstandings.
True Detective - 'The Stash House'
03/07/14, 03:08

Spoiler: one of Marty's daughters is an Encyclopedia Brown-like genius, and in later episodes she's the one who blows the case wide open. And her name is Trudy ... Trudy Tective.
True Detective: Rust has some advice for an alleged child killer
03/07/14, 03:04

I see a few different ways to interpret Cohle:

- He's Agent Cooper as written by someone who thinks "Twin Peaks" wasn't cynical enough.

- He's Abed's eponymous policeman protagonist from "Police Justice" but with substance provided by Professor Hickey.

- He's what happens if you start asking, "What if Sheldon from 'The Big Bang Theory' went into law enforcement?"

But one way I cannot read him is as an infallible author mouthpiece. He's fine-tuned his bleak outlook and it works for him, for certain definitions of "works" anyway, but everything about him is a mess. Even in his future (the present), he's basically an extra from "My Name is Earl".
True Detective - Rust on backwoods religion
03/07/14, 00:53

>I called the ending of Breaking Bad after only seeing like 2 episodes of the final season

Pffft, I called it about five minutes into the very first episode, when Jesse says to the old gypsy woman, "yo, gimme an El Camino, bitch".
'Fuck the EU' - Victoria Nuland, US Asst Secretary of State
03/06/14, 18:26

Yeah, it seems like she'd like to steer the Ukrainian situation into a configuration more favorable to US interests, which is underhanded, but it falls way short of the "US IS TRYING TO INSTALL UKRAINIAN PUPPET GOVERNMENT!!!" that I'm hearing from some Lefties.
How To Pronounce Les Miserables 2012
03/06/14, 13:16

At French McDonalds, the Hamburglar is known as "Lesmise", and when he steals your Royale With Cheese he says "Rables".
Porcupine attacking a raven's nest
03/06/14, 05:37

Five stars despite how this was all scripted.
James Randi and an Astrologer
03/05/14, 12:09

I'm not convinced that the astrologist did that badly. I'm not saying he has any supernatural insight either, just that a lot of Laurie's denials don't ring true. He doesn't enjoy the limelight and he's not an extrovert, yet he's an actor and a comedian -- that's a peculiar field for someone who shies away from the public. And, Laurie's got a better claim to a sense of humor than most.
Darkwing Duck Theme
03/05/14, 07:03

A big Bob Dole fan?
John Travolta Doesn't Know How to Pronounce Les Miserables
03/05/14, 07:01

It's pronounced "Les Miserables", or "Lester Miserables" on legal documents.
Elmo Pooping
03/05/14, 06:57

BRRRRNG BRRRRNG

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Johnson, this is Frank from the Sesame Street Impersonator Agency. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be there today, you're not going to believe this, but I got mugged! They stole my wallet, my car, and even my Elmo costume!"
Pinky: I'm Glad I'm Not a White Girl in Adult Industry
03/04/14, 05:26

I'm pretty sure Pinky is not pondering what you guys are pondering.
Batman vs. Ace
03/03/14, 20:56

That particular scene didn't involve much heavy lifting on Kevin Conroy's part -- "I know what that's like", "No, I wasn't", "Yes", "Yes, I'm sorry" -- I'm guessing it was a little embarrassing.

But Kevin tells a good story about when he was pitching in at a kitchen for firefighters shortly after 9/11:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHVAeBvzoOo
A giraffe walks into a bar...
03/03/14, 06:29

Joke 1:

A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper says "Really, you have a drink called Tom?"

Joke 2:

Batman walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Batman says "Really, you have a drink called Bruce Wayne? ... ... Oh fuck."

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